DS is worrying me...any opinions/ideas?

Ok, so DS is 4.5yrs. He is usually a very happy go lucky child, very laid back and is quite intelligent. He is a sensitive child at times, but no more than the normal mummy's boy either. He is just a total pleasure to have and I am such a lucky mummy.

BUT

the last few days his behaviour has REALLY changed. He has started bursting into tears for no reason, and cant' tell me why, he just sobs "I don't know why". Either that or he tells me he is sad, and doesn't know why. He is constantly wanting my attention and affection and gets into a real state over scratches and tiny little marks on his body. The other day a toy with beanbag beans in it spilt and he has been freaking out of these 'pom-poms' (he calls them) getting into his nose and ears???!!! Oh and then he put his undies and socks on and told me he was scared they had broken glass in them??!!! And his latest one today is telling me (in between sobs) he is having scary dreams, when he is obviously awake!

I just don't know what to do or think!! It is all so out of character for him. I've been racking my brains trying to think of a trigger for it all but I just can't. DH and I are both really worried about it. So much so I'm thinking about asking my friend who is a psychologist to have a chat with us all maybe.

Anyone have any suggestions??

Oh hun*hugs*! your poor lil man! Has he maybe seen something on tv or does he have older kids telling him stories?

I dont have any other advice but i hope he goes back to his old self soon!

Hmm....I dunno, it could be, I've been trying to think of what but i guess what I might consider to be worrying might be different to him. It's just so weird! And for DH to be worried also I know i'm not just being a paranoid Mum.

I know when i was little i watched a scary movie at a friends and i got so worried and freaked by it! Has he been anywhere different with different kids?

I really hope you can find out what is upsetting him, it must be so worrying!

xx

Do you think i should just ride it out over a week or so and see how it goes? Or should i dig and try and find the problem?

Poor little man - it sounds to me like hes traumitised by something whether its TV or what i dont know, ide speak to your friend and get some advice on how to handle it - it may just be a phase or it could be something serious.. may be nueroligical.

Good luck ;)

I would ask him what dreams he's been having and what he's seen that might have been similar (ie. TV or maybe something someone' said).

Not sure what else to suggest apart from extra, extra cuddles.

Yes, he's been smothered with cuddles :D We'll see how we go I guess.

I'd suggest a checkup at the doctor. He could have one of those silent lurking illnesses like an ear infection that's making him feel out of sorts (and if you've ever had a high temp and hallucinated at night that's pretty scary too).

I would also be looking out for something that has rocked his sense of personal safety. It's all very fearful behaviour. Is he dealing with any big life transitions (starting kindy, family member has left, moved house, etc)? All of these things can rock their sense of security/stability too. Try giving him some comfort rituals, or talk about how safe and sound he is in bed, etc. Try a night light if he doesn't have one or keep the door open for him.

Perhaps he has been worrying about something he has heard or seen that has not made sense to him. I remember being hysterical when I was 4 because there were some moths in the garden and someone had told me they eat holes in your jumpers and I was wearing a jumper and thought they'd jump on me and start munching LOL - that's how the 4 year-old brain works. In the meantime, try not to worry too much yourself, it could well be a passing phase.

Marydean, it all makes sense and I have mulled over most of that myself. nothing has changed significant;y so i am thinking like your moths, it is something smaller that i would never think of. It's frustrating as he doesn't know what it is, which in itself is very unusual for him, he is usually so in tune with stuff like this.

I actually wondered Bec whether anyone has been talking to him and being careful with his things now that your youngest is likely to be moving around more (ie don't leave your lego on the ground where the baby can get it, don't play with the beanbag zip the baby could choke...)? I know my DD1 (who is ten) went through a nervous nellie stage when our DD2 started crawling and it was because we were nagging her about making sure the baby was safe. Or have they been talking about safety at kindy/preschool? It wouldn't be hard for the whole question of 'safety/unsafety' to creep into his psyche.

My DS almost 4 went through a period few months back after they had visits from the police and fire fighters at his preschool... he was freaked out that if he was bad that the police would get him and that when he saw fire (like from the stove) that the house would burn down and he's tart crying and get down low and crawl to the door.... I thought it was something from the TV til i saw pics up at preschool and asked them and found out that an older boy had asked the plice what they do with Bad people... And the fire fighters talked about what to do in a fire...

Also our dog when we moved house got a bad case of fleas...we think the previous owners pets had them... grrrrr.... Anyways i get bad reactions to the dog (from the fleas... i told him that they were little nits and he freaked out for weeks after that things were biting him in his bed (after i treated the dog's bed) Once i treated his bed (washed his sheets with his help) he calmed down. I find the smallest of things cause triggers

You know I think you are both right! :)

Marydean I think it may be along the lines of the new baby. i think I rely on him too much to be the big person and he is just worrying about everything. tonight he got into a state because chloe was throwing something around the loungeroom and he thought she was going to break something. I think i've put too much responsibility on the poor little fella :(. So we had a chat about it being for me to worry about and he doesn't need to worry about that stuff. We'll see.

thanks :)

Glad your making some headway Bec, keep us posted. :)

Bec, let us know how he gets on over the next week or two. :hug: