Not sure

I'm not sure how to feel right now.
i have a boy who is three now, he was somewhere between 3-6months when i started to "bleed". After two weeks of bleeding i got feed up and want to the doctors they said i was fine and it was a period.. week three ended i was still bleeding and feeling weak. I changed doctors, she did a pee test that came up + right away, then added if we "tryed" to keep it, it would be very sick or still born. So i got my first "clean".
After this life went on as per normal..

Untill My second miscarrage.
I was at work for about two weeks i was so sick it made me dizzy, so i went to the doctorwhom ordered a ultra sound.
I had a friend with me ( we don't talk much now, because of it) too my ultrasound at 8 weeks it had died this was on 7/04/08.

after a sleepless nights the doctor sent me in for another "clean up" that day 9/4/08.
But a big accedent happen and i was put off till late afternoon, fine by me, but a five a surgen told me to go home and come again tomorrow.

10/4/08 (Our sons birthday) I'm at the hospital, by 2 o'clock i was a mess..
Missing my sons birthday at hospital alone.

we did our 4 weeks with out "love" with no thought of what might happen, here i am now 16 weeks gone.
Silly as it seems i'm as afraid of birth as i am miscarrying again.

If you ever need to talk we are all here for you!

I have never been through what you are going through but just remember there is light at the end you just have to keep going at your own pace!