Single mum to be

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September 4th, 2008, 04:14 PM
coopersmummy06

Single mum to be

Hi everyone. I am 20 years old and my gorgeous son Cooper is 20 months. He will be 2 on 29th December 08.

My partner is insecure and controlling and I have no idea what i should do or organize so that I can leave him.

He never lets me go out, he complains about all my friends, they way I do my hair, if I get new shoes, he thinks i'm trying to impress other people when I dress nice for work. He didn't even want me to start work because he was worried I would leave someone from work.

He has a horrible temper and constantly stands over me. He is a great father to our son I just cant cope with our relationship anymore.

I really have no idea how to leave. I cant just pick up and leave, I dont have the money. If someone could help or give me some advise that would be fantastic.

I live in Penrith and i really want to stay in this area but there are so many things that worry me. I will need a car to get my son to day care at Penrith and then get to work at Hawkesbury, we have a car now but the loan for the car is in his name and i cant afford the repayments on it. I also need to find a house as I cant live with my mum because she has no room in her house.

I dont speak to my father so that isnt an option either. I am so stuck and confused and really dont know what to do anymore.Hi everyone. I am 20 years old and my gorgeous son Cooper is 20 months. He will be 2 on 29th December 08.

My partner is insecure and controlling and I have no idea what i should do or organize so that I can leave him.

He never lets me go out, he complains about all my friends, they way I do my hair, if I get new shoes, he thinks i'm trying to impress other people when I dress nice for work. He didn't even want me to start work because he was worried I would leave someone from work.

He has a horrible temper and constantly stands over me. He is a great father to our son I just cant cope with our relationship anymore.

I really have no idea how to leave. I cant just pick up and leave, I dont have the money. If someone could help or give me some advise that would be fantastic.

I live in Penrith and i really want to stay in this area but there are so many things that worry me. I will need a car to get my son to day care at Penrith and then get to work at Hawkesbury, we have a car now but the loan for the car is in his name and i cant afford the repayments on it. I also need to find a house as I cant live with my mum because she has no room in her house.

I dont speak to my father so that isnt an option either. I am so stuck and confused and really dont know what to do anymore.
September 4th, 2008, 04:20 PM
LaDeeDa

You poor love *big hugs*
Is there any short term crisis accomodation if your area that you could stay in while you apply for a house/unit?
Normally Vinnies / Red Cross have accomodation for situations exactly like this ... or do you have any friends who would let you spend a little while just while you get your head together?

Just remember that even if it's hard to leave .... in the long term it'll be harder to stay and there is a lot of support out there.

Good luck ... be thinking of you
September 4th, 2008, 04:24 PM
Kitt3n

Dee's right hun - the longer you leave it the harder it is. I was 19 when DD was born, took me 3.5 years to leave her dad - should have done so much, much earlier.

Are there any womens refuges around you? Department of housing shoudl be able to help you with 50% of the bond on a rental place, check that out. But until you get your feet on the ground is there anyone that you can stay with ?
September 4th, 2008, 04:27 PM
coopersmummy06

I work full time and i earn just over the amount for which i can get assistance from the housing department.

I think there is crisis housing but again i think i earn too much.

Its just the separating stuff and getting a new place and buying more furniture.

The only thing that is stopping me at the moment is money.
September 4th, 2008, 04:30 PM
~Aveta~

yup, hit up the local women's refuge, centrelink also do emergency payments (bond, etc) also community housing, department of houseing have a community housing branch now too, and even speak to DoCS, because any danger to you puts your child in danger also, and they HAVE to deal with imminent danger to a child. other places to talk to are the women's health centre, and even a local neighbourhood centre. often the council website will give you community services info. take care of yourself and good luck, be brave and do what's right for you and your child.
September 4th, 2008, 04:34 PM
LaDeeDa

:

I .

The only thing that is stopping me at the moment is money.

I seriously do understand how hard this is.... mind you I didn't have a baby with my X.
I stayed with my X for 3 years, he was mentally and physically abusive and I stayed for the same reason.... I didn't want to split everything up and start again.
When I finally left I lost so much material stuff and it took me a few years to build it up again but when I look back now... I was so relieved and happy to be away from him that I didn't even notice going to the laundromat or catching public transport.

Give Centrelink a call and see what you qualify for as a single mum, if you leave your expenses vs income will change and that may make you eligible for somethings your not aware of yet!

Be strong chicken!!