we are now allowed to TTC

It has been a long six months but the time has come that we are allowed to TTC this month. I should be starting any day now and am not sure how I feel about this month. I am worried that all of my fam and friends and going to make me feel stressed about getting pregnant. I have already had the questions "so are you pregnant". We are only in the eighth day of September and everyone expects me to be pregnant already. I am already feeling overwhelmed! :wall: Does anyone have any advice to give to me? I am afraid that I am going to put myself under to much pressure on getting pregnant because I have this desperate need to be a mother! I know I can not replace my baby girl but...:pray:

Hi Sunshine

I do not know you background about why you had to wait 6 months to TTC again. But you have been very patient! :clap:

It is unfair you have the added pressure of friends/family, given a woman in her twenties only has a 20% chance of naturally conceiving each month (I hate that statistic).

To strengthen your chances, I suggest you purchase OPK urine tests so you can make sure you BD when you are ovulating. Some people temp (I have) and invest in saliva monitors (I did, but mine did not work for me). It can get very obsessive. Try to limit your caffeine and alcohol intake. Folic acid and other B vitamins are also important.

But mostly, enjoy your partner. It can really put a strain on the relationship. It stops feeling like making love. It makes it harder for the guy to perform. It makes it all so automatic rather than spontaneous IYKWIM.

Good luck to you. I hope it all works out ;)

Hello, thank you for the tips. I wasn't sure if I were to go out and get any of those things if it was to soon and if I would be obsessing already. here is my history on why were we waiting:
Back on March 5 2008 at 19 and a half weeks I gave birth my daughter who my first child do to a very severe case of preeclampsia. She was stillborn and even if she wasn't they told me that there was nothing they could have done even if she was born alive to keep her that way. This was the worst day of my life having to give birth to a baby that I would be able to keep. We had just found out that we were having a little girl the week before all this happened. Her measurements were a little small and they we not able to get them all because she was moving a round too much so I was to come back 2 wks later for another ultrasound.
My ob and the high risk specialist I saw have decided that even after the blood tests came back negative for any blood clotting disorders they still want be to take baby aspirin and heparin with my next pregnancy due to my placenta having a lot of clotting. They are concerned that I may have some clotting disorder that is yet to be discovered being the one they were checking me for was just discovered 5 yrs ago.

Good luck to you!

Hi Sunshine. I am sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter Angelina Marie. It sounds like your drs are taking good care of you, which should give you some peace of mind now that you can TTC again. I would suggest you don't tell your family that you are trying. I had people (not my family but random people) asking when we were allowed to start trying again and this was only about 1 month after we lost Nathaniel. I told people that we were waiting for a few months etc, even though we started trying 1 month after the D&C. It meant that when I did fall pregnant in Feb we didn't have people guessing etc, and we were able to keep it quiet until we felt comfortable telling people (which I found very difficult as it was so emotional for me). So if people are asking, just tell them you aren't rushing and are waiting a bit longer or something. It is very wrong for anyone to ask if you are pregnant no matter what your story is, so just ignore them and don't let the pressure get to you. Take care. :hug:

Sunshine - I am so sorry. That must have been a very dark and difficult time for you.

I second what Katiegirl suggested about holding back from telling people you are TTC again. It is such a private thing that you should not have to explain to anyone.

I sincerely wish you all the best :hug:

Hi Katiegirl,
Thanks for the advice. I have told those who still dare ask the question that we are not even though we are.
I also found it very hard this month when we did not become pregnant. I knew deep down that of course there was no guarantee that we would become pregnant this month but deep down I also hoped and prayed. When I realized that I was not pregnant I honestly became very angry. I was in such a terrible mood I wanted to be around no one! All I wanted to do was cry and feel sorry for myself! I know this wasn’t right and was childish but….it was how I felt:( It also goes against the fact that I did not want to put pressure on myself and that is what I am doing:(
Did you go through anything similar? I do not know how to just relax and let it be.

Hello Where there's hope,
I didn't get the things you suggested OPK urine test or the saliva monitor and this month we are not pregnant:( I had high expectations for myself even though I didnt want to "put pressure on myself"!

Hi Sunshine. Yes I got upset when I did not fall pregnant on our first cycle of trying again. It was hard to not look for signs of pregnancy and then feel let down when AF arrived. I think it is because we all so desperately want to have another baby, that time seems to work against us. People will tell you to relax (and they are right) but this is almost impossible when you desperately desire to be pregnant again. Be kind to yourself, and if you are angry or upset just go with the feeling, but do not allow it to drag you down. Come over and join the ladies in the TTC after late loss thread, as there are plenty of women there who understand and can sympathise. :hug:

Hey Sunshine. I am sorry your first month has been unsuccessful. The forums here are so supportive and do know exactly what you are going through. Please be gentle on yourself.

WTH x