I'm i just dreaming?

I don't have much expectation in regards to my birth but what i do want is for it be a really calm experience so that i can look back on it and not think of it as painful.

For instance, i want to be totally relaxed. I don't want to be yelling or screaming or thrashing about. I don't want it to feel painful in a way that is bad. I don't want to have to 'get though it'. I want to enjoy it. I want to say at the end that i can go through that again, not only for the sake of the end result, but for the sake of it being a really joyful, calm experience.

I guess it is in my favour that i'm having a homebirth and a water birth. I am also going to do a calmbirth course. But will this really give me what i want?

I have no fear and i have every confidence that i can do it. But it is easy to think that while pregnant. I don't know how i will think when in labour.

Not really sure what i want out of this post. Not really any advice as such but i suppose more encouragement and knowing that i'm not just living in a dream world.

no your not dreaming! it is absolutley possible!
i was in my own world at home i had my own "safe space" in the pool.
i was calm i was at peace i went with my body!

Absolutely not dreaming! I have managed 2 quite calm and relaxing labours and births and as you said, your body knows what to do and will do it!
I always had the thought of each contraction bringing me closer to meeting my baby!

Have you thought about hypnobirthing or calmbirthing? Maybe worth a look.

You are going to be fantastic :)

def not dreaming..

did you see the silent birth link i posted in this section? Check it out, it is very possible


Good luck

I had a very short labour last time, and SO intense, but even though it was more painful than the first, I breathed through it and (yes I did say I wanted it to stop) but I never yelled or told DH off and never felt the need to. I thought myself through it, kept telling myself it was temporary and to breath. I didn't do alot of preparing for the labour because I didn't want my heart set on one thing only for it to go the other way, but I took my TENS machine, tennis ball (didn't use it) and just took some time once I was at hospital, to find the most comfortable place for me (which ended up being on a mat with DH sitting behind me and my arms resting on his legs, I faced forwards). I tried a few other positions which didn't work for me.
good luck and I hope you have a wonderful calm birth xo

I know EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN. Exactly. In fact, you've just described what I want from my birth. The thing I think I've feared most is losing control - thrashing, screaming, uncontrolled wasting of energy - I just want it to be peaceful, calm, and controlled. I know it may be work! But why does it have to be like it is in the movies?
Hugs to you, I am believing for a calm birth for both of us! I have been doing a hypnobirthing thingy for months now, to prepare my subconscious, and surrounding myself by birthing stories that are positiv, uplifting, and triumphant. I'm not unaware that things could possibly go awry, but I'm not counting on it! You know?
And I'm homebirthing as well! Due today actually... he he he...

So be encouraged. We have within us the possibility of calm and empowering birth. I just checked out the video that Kelly posted in this forum, the Mind Movie Birth Visualisation - definitely worth checking out!!

Antheia - I know exactly wehre you are coming from.

All I can say is "mind over matter" we can do it hun, we both WILL!

Goodluck Helly!

You know, over the last week or so, i have suddenly become all calm about it all. I feel so positive right now. I hope i stay in this frame of mind until the birth.

I think you will. I've been able to keep that mindframe most of the time as well. We may not have control over everything that happens around us, but we DO have control over how we feel. We really do! Most of us just don't realise it. ;)

You're body will take over. I wouldn't say my birth was calm- only 3 hours so it was pretty quick and intense- but no thrashing, screaming (maybe a bit of grunting) or name calling. You can totally do this. Woman have been doing it in all sorts of conditions since the beginning of time... no hysterics neccessary. I hope it's a fantastic experince.

Antheia
I didnt speak, yell or scream during DD's labour or birth.
I actually had my eyes closed blocking out all images and sounds for the whole time.
I went to grunt when pushing but the midwive told me not to make a sound (not sure why)... so i didnt...

so def possible!

Not dreaming babe. When I reached that totally primitive part of labour I wasn't yelling or screaming, but was completely in myself and focused on my breathing. That was at 7 cms and I had an epidural after 3 hours of that but I remember that I blocked everything out and was just focused on relaxing between contractions and focusing on positioning and breathing during them. I'm hoping for more of the same this time around too.You will be great hun! :hug:

With my second son, I had a very calm birth experience. I would almost go so far as to say I enjoyed it (crazy I know). I spent a lot of time in the lead up to the birth repeating positive affirmations to myself and worked with my Doula to work through what my fears were.

A big part of being calm is also education, knowing what exactly happens during labour takes away a large part of the fear. One thing that my Doula said to me is that labour isn't painful because you feel pain when you are hurt and you are not hurt when you are in labour, in fact your body is doing exactly what it is designed to do. Try to welcome the surges (I like to use this instead of the word contractions) as opposed to fighting them, feel the surge and let your body go with them.

For most of my labour I felt as if I could have fallen asleep. I was induced and had DS without any pain relief, not even gas. It was a very healing and empowering experience for me.

So no, you are not dreaming, a calm beautiful birth is not just a possibility, it is your right.

HTH
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