need help with 2year olds biting

firstly not Jack he is one of the victims :(

2 of Jacks little firends have started biting again they both did it about 6-10mths back but then they stopped now they have started again

I had a little party monday with 3 of jacks friends the little girl and Jack were both left with at least 3 bite marks each

the 2 little boys (may 06 born and July 06 born) did bite each other but didn't seem to make a difference

one of the little fellas (may) it is usually when he wants something he reacts by biting first then shoving

the other just bites it seems he bit Jack again yesterday :(

now I love these boys they are lovley excpet for the biting I feel so sorry for the mums as they seem at their wits end with it, and mortified their boys are biting

so what I need is some suggestions on how to help the mums deal with the biting issue

I would tell them a stern NO and explain that it hurts when you bite. Give them a warning. If they do it again, I would give them time out in a corner or somewhere away from the playing for 2min. Then go back to them and explain why they are in the corner. Tell them to say sorry to the child they bit.

If they keep doing it repeat the process or even make the child have to go home if they can't play nicely.

I use this technique for my DD with any naughty behaviour. If it's something "mild" I give 3 warning and at the 3rd warning she goes in the corner. If it were to be something like biting (touch wood she hasn't done that yet) I would only give one warning before putting her in the corner.

At the beginning she wouldn't sit there and I would physically have to put her back in the corner a few times untill she stayed there. Once she stayed there I then started counting the minutes. The general rule is 1min per age. So 2min for 2yr olds, 5min for 5yr olds etc.

Good Luck. It must be horrible for the mothers but hopefully the boys will pass this stage quickly.

I agree with Nadine's suggestions about time out.

One of my DD's carers said Katy would bite when she saw the other children doing it, so she thought it was acceptable behaviour. I guess as long as the children are made aware that it is unacceptable behaviour, there's not much else you can do.

I have also had times when she bites herself when she is frustrated.

Tell them that is it not nice to bite their friends, and let them know how it makes you feel when you are hurt.

Good luck with it.

I know the may born one his mum used to do time outs but to the extreme IYKWIM!!!


I did mention to both of them I had read it was best for them to put attention on the victim per se' but was just wondering of any techniques etc that worked for others

I think the little may born is acting out as he has a new baby brother :dunno:

Well my second son has bitten a few times as well i have to say i was and still am mortified that he did it. My first son never ever bit anyone. Well i don't overly react, i just get a massive shocked look on my face make him appoligise and send him to time out. I make sure that he knows that i am very dissapointed in him, and i think that this hurts him more then anything. My sil says to me oh just bite him back, but i do not think that this is teaching a 2 year old anything.also coming from a mother who's child bit another child in a park on the face and nearly made her bleed and then she sent him to his nana's house for the day cause she did not want to deal with him(she also did not bite him back). They don't understand and to him its showing that mummy can do it so can i. For my son i have watched what is happening and yes he is not just bitting for no reason he is getting hurt or something taken off him and i am definitly not saying that he is not to blame atleast he is not just bitting for no reason. I Hope this helps and as a mother of a biter it really feels horrible:(
Sorry
Nikki

This is really extreme, but my DS1 (at about the same age - 2) bit ME and in an impulse reaction, I bit him back ... NOT hard mind you, but it was enough to shock him into realising how much it hurt. He had been biting other kids as well, and obviously the stern talks and time outs and making him apologise to the other kids wasn't working. He just managed t get me on a bad day after a pretty sleepless night.

Mind you, I felt bad straight away, and he had bitten me so hard that my hand was bleeding and I had tears rolling down my cheeks, BUT he never bit ANYONE again after that!

ETA none of my others bite!

Okay I'm a firm believer of leading by example so if I don't want my kids to hit, I don't hit them, if I don't want them to bite, then I most definitely wouldn't be biting them. I believe as the adult, we can't tell our kids how to behave if we're not prepared to behave in the same way. But that's just me, I believe in gentle parenting.

But Rach it's not Jack but his little friends isn't it? It's a hard one because it's obviously not for you to 'train' these kids, but you need to protect your son. They're both not much younger than Charlie, and he is being trained now that hitting isn't the answer (he doesn't bite). A firm no, and removing the child from the activity immediately works for me.

I read Pinky's Toddler Tactics and it does say that violence in children is common at a time where their language skills are developing, and it's often frustration. Moving the biting child away is a good idea I reckon, as does extra attention for the victim.

Good luck hun it's so hard when they start making friends. Is it possible to only expose him to one of the friends at a time, too, so that he's not exposed to this behaviour all at once.

thanks girls...yes not Jack but I have been teaching him to say no bite me *name* but when he shows you his bie marks and yes they are still there today 2 days later :( he goes *name* bite Jack then he gets sad and goes me no like bites :(

its hard as the 2 fellas belong to a mums group and we get together usually 4 little ones at a time, but 1 on 1 the problem still happens with these 2

I have watched to see if Jack is doign anything to provoke it and he isn't he will be on a bike the other will want it so goes in for a bite :(