Very concerned

Hi,
DS's friend rang him last night asking if he could sleep over as he was very scared. Ds asked why he was scared he said his mum's boyfriend punched him. The boyfriend lives with them and he is any only child, he is 14. I presumed his mum wasn't home as he is left alone often and thought I would ring her to let her know what was going on. Anyway he didn't leave straight away, we live a couple of blocks away, he was talking to ds on msn. I asked ds to ask his friend for his mums mobile, he said mum is home but not doing anything about it, wtf. Wasn't totally sure if the whole story was true as this boy tends to exagerate a lot of stories, wanted to call the police, just didn't know what to do at the time. Anyway he arrives and low and behold he has a lovely red mark on his face and another on his leg. Just felt like going over to this b.........s house and punch him myself. Now when the boy rang DS he told him to make me promise not to tell anyone. Well I explained to DS that it is my duty to help this child as his mother dosn't seem to care, but thinking about it today she is probably getting abused herself. This morning I rang docs and explained everything to them so now it is in their hands. I sat down this morning with DS's friend and explained to him that he can always come here if he needs to but I also said to him that if he hits him again and the child comes here I will have to call the police, explained that he would not be in any trouble and that the authorities are there to help him. I am so scared for this boy and so so angry at his mother for letting this happen.

Regards,
Dianne

you have done the right thing by contacting docs. I dont blame the boy for wanting to keep it a secret. I did too when it happened to me coz i knew it would make my dad angrier. Its a hard situation and i do thankyou so much for offering the boy to stay with u. He does need to get out of there. Pity is tho.. Doc's only seem to give a **** when it has gone too far and its the boys word against the adults. its a tough situation....

GOod on you dianne, that was a lovely thing to do. ALthough I understand your anger, as someone who has seen first hand domestic violence it is not always as 'black and white' as other people seem to believe. Yes it is her child, I agree 110% that she should of done something with this. But if she is getting abused herself it is a very very different situation, there are so many more factors involved and it does take ALOT for the women of these relationships to finally get the guts to do something about it. Until you have all the facts, please don't judge this woman as a bad mother, because it's thoughts and views like that, that make the women realise there isn't any help out there for them, it's hard enough being in that situation without being judged. Best of luck with it all, I hope the boy will be safe. xx

you did the right thing hun, stay in contact with him and ensure he knows he can coem to you at any time!

you did exactly the right thing, even if you aren't sure if the boy was exaggerating, a mark is proof he was hit. good for you and i'm glad the boy has a safe place to come to!