to buy or to try?

hey there all.. im after a little bit of advise..

i went off the pill three months ago all in the idea of starting to try...

all of our friends seem to get help from their parents to buy property.. have children and in general get through life..

we dont get help like getting money from our parents and to be honest we dont want the help coz i think you do appreciate your own things when you have saved for them.. not to say that its a bad thing getting help either..

anyway ill get to my point.. my question is.. do you buy a house first or have your children..

buying a house you may need to put off having children until you have paid a bit off your house so you can take the time off.. then on the other hand waiting.. you may waste time and either never get around to it.. or not be able to fall because u have waited too long.

im 25 and my DH is 26 sooo does any one have any advise.. ui know we should do what we think is right but how do you know? it seemed all our friends were having children.. but now they all seem to be buying.. getting married etc.. we are married.. now its children or house?

Well we have 3 winkies and are still renting for me to be a SAHM we have to rent, so once the baby is in school I will look into getting a job and then we will buy...

I think its something only you and your DH will be able to answer for yourselves but for us it was more important that I stay home to raise the winkies than it was for us to have our own home....

I guess you have to go with what feels right for you. Do you want kids because everyone else does or are you ready emotionally? We waited to buy our house and become more financially stable before having kids, because that's what we were advised to do. But looking back now - I would have prefered to have kids first. You never know what life throws at you next. I feel houses and money will always be there. There'll always be that job around the corner. I think if you are ready, go for it and enjoy motherhood. You have less responsibility now (no mortagage stress, work pressure) and TTC will be a more relaxed, fulfilling experience. when your child's a bit older you can resume full-time work and get the house. Sit down and re-assess your life and where you are heading. Is your job secure? Are you managing finacially? How's your relationship with your DH? If it's all good - bring on motherhood!

Just my :twocents: worth :D

Hey Tali, we posted together!

Do what is best for you, not what your friends are doing. You do not need to follow the trend!

We had already bought a house when my maternal instinct kicked in, so we waited two (extremely long!) years before we started trying, and then it took another year to fall pregnant. Now we can afford for me to be at home for a few years and also pay off the house. Best of both worlds!

hey gals thanks for the heads up.. i really appreciate it.. nah im not one of those who does what their friends are going.. that came accross wrong..

just my parents well lmy dad was in the defence force so there wasnt a need to buy a house when traveling so much so they had their children early.. i like the idea of having them early and still enjoying them throughout their lives.. my DH's dad was 30 when he was born.. so he is not as in touch with things now.. maybe its jsut his personality but i would love to be able to paint our own babies room too if that makes sense...

We decided we'd prefer kids over a house. If we bought a house we'd probably have to wait longer for kids (and maybe not have as many), and I wouldn't be able to be a SAHM comfortably. We prefer to rent so that I can stay home with the kids and we can live comfortably without scraping by for the sake of a house. It's a personal decision though, don't worry about what everyone else is doing, just worry about what will make you happy and you're set :)

Hey Amsta,

Maybe you could look at buying something that is a stepping stone to your later home purchases. DH and I have bought a little "shack" that doesn't cost us much more than it did to rent!It means we are putting our money into our property rather than our landlords pockets but we can afford it if one of us doesn't work. OUr little house is tiny and old and we will move eventually - but we love being able to paint or do things to the walls etc without asking permission. It has also allowed us to save lots of money by putting extra on the mortgage as TTC is taking SOOOOO LOOONNNGGG!!!

Also don't stress about having kids "young" DH and I are over 30 (just) and think we will be good parents and not "out of touch" as you seem to believe. Lots of parents on here are much older but very committed to loving and raising their children - lots don't or didn't have the luxury of getting PG in thier 20's even if they wanted to.

Anyway - you will know whats right for you and your family. Good luck with TTC :pink-babydust::bluedust:

In an ideal world we would have loved to have bought our house first before trying to have children but at this time it is not practical (although that depends on whether you ask me or my SO ;) ). We decided to try now simply because we are both in our 30's and if we waited til we had our house, a nice nest egg and all of that we would always put off the idea of having children, waiting for a 'better' time. Everyone's decision on whether or not to have children and when is a very personal decision that is different for everyone. I do have inside information however (I realise that they have been saying this for awhile), but if you decide to purchase a house the end of next year you will find it MUCH cheaper than now. We too do not have help from our parents in purchasing a house so I may be able to relate to some of the tough decisions you are facing. Just remember that it will work out no matter what decision you make and that your family and friends should support you 110% in that decision. One thing we are looking into is moving out a bit further because house prices are cheaper, with my career I can move anywhere once I have finished with uni, for him however it is a little more difficult but it's an option you may want to look into :)

I hope I have said something that may be of help or comfort.

Take care

A few years ago I would've advised you to buy a house first. Now I'd say rent & have kids.

We bought a place a couple of years ago and now I have to go back to work even though I don't want to. Our house is at the lower end of the market (small house, small yard in cheap suburb) yet we can't afford for me to stay home. If we'd stayed in the rental property we were in I could've easily afforded to stay home.

We did both! Was saving for our first house and TTC at the same time. We already had our block of land so we did have a little head start and when we signed the contract to start building when I was 8 weeks PG.

Just thought I'd say too that even though sometimes it seems like everyone else has it better than you, imagine them with a humungus mortgage and maxed out credit cards. Always makes me feel better :p Especially when my neighbours have just got a boat, car, pool and had a 2 week holiday to Qld. Though I feel a little green in the gills I knew they refinanced and extended their mortgage to have them!

I bought my first house at 24 and have sold and bought twice since then. However I waited until I was in my 30's to have children - both times got pregnant first attempt (literally) so it's not a given that you will have problems concieving later on.

I think the only thing is that it is easier to save more money when you don't have children than when you do so if you are looking to TTC before buying I would still start saving for a house right now and putting away as much as possible while you can.

Hey girls,

thank you sooo much for your advise and i have taken all of it on board. My husband has applied for the defence force and has an interview next month.. very exciting for him as he can use his trade and expand on it and earn great money..
although there wont be much of a point to buy a house straight up because we will be re locating alot (im a daughter of an ex navy guy so im used to it) so we may buy an investment property next year some time..
as for the trying TTC i still havent gotten my period.. havent done a HPT for a week nearly scared to do one haha but im 15 days over due so far.. we decided not to 'try' but not to use protection.. when it happens it does until we are fully wanting to try until then enjoy BD without protection for the first time.

it is hard raven not to get green with envy sometimes.. alot of our friends had had help but like you said you know you can live comfortably and quiet fankly i enjoy the furtniture car etc that we own coz we have worked for it.. and im sure you feel the same :)

as you have all said there is no right way of going about your plans.. but at least getting a little advise helps to give ideas of possible out comes and approaches out there. :)
thank you all