Terrified about my VBAC

my am so scared that its gonna end up being as traumatic as my First Labour.

1st Labour - 33 hours ending in emergency c-sect he was posterior and the midwife said he wasnt and i pushed for 3 hours after being in intense labour for about 29 hours before this - my epidural came unattached from filter and no-one noticed - until my student midwife said "OMG your epidural is undone" i was in so much pain in my back i ended up hysterical, screaming at them to get him out.

it was very hard on my DF and myself - they ended up rushing me in for EC and he was finally born a fe w minutes later.

I want to try normal vaginal birth again - i dont want a CS if possible - ive got a 16 month old at home that needs me, but im so scared its gonna end up that way again.

need a bit of support gals.....

I can totally understand that fear, as I was there just a few months ago. I had a 36 hour labour with my son, the epidural kept failing so I went from no pain to agony for half an hour every two hours. I wanted the baby out so badly that at one point I said just get it out & take it away from me :redface:

With my daughter it was so so much easier. I was calm, I was in control & everything seemed easier. I asked for an epidural but found out I had dilated to 8cm already without it which was amazing because I only got to 4cm before having it the first time. Unfortunately I wasn't able to have a VBAC, but even the c/s experience was better this time. I knew what was going to happen so it was much less stressful. The recovery was better, but still not fun & it was hard trying to explain to my son that I couldn't pick him up for six weeks. Oh & the labour weas around 11 hours 15 minutes which was a huge difference too.

So in saying all that I'm trying to essentially tell you that I found it far far better the second time round even though I still ended up with a c/s. I wouldn't have done it any other way, well other than actually having the VBAC of course ;)

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my am so scared that its gonna end up being as traumatic as my First Labour.

1st Labour - 33 hours ending in emergency c-sect he was posterior and the midwife said he wasnt and i pushed for 3 hours after being in intense labour for about 29 hours before this - my epidural came unattached from filter and no-one noticed - until my student midwife said "OMG your epidural is undone" i was in so much pain in my back i ended up hysterical, screaming at them to get him out.

it was very hard on my DF and myself - they ended up rushing me in for EC and he was finally born a fe w minutes later.

I want to try normal vaginal birth again - i dont want a CS if possible - ive got a 16 month old at home that needs me, but im so scared its gonna end up that way again.

need a bit of support gals.....

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I just want to give you some encouragement but also share my experience and let you know that another c/s isnt all that bad even with another child at home.

Your situation sounds the same as mine although you seem like you had a worse time than i did. I was in labour for 22 hours with my first baby only to get to 8cm dialted and having to be taken down for a emergency c/s due to him being prosterior. I had a hard time dealing with it as a c/s never even entered my mind during the whole preganacy and i ended up getting post natal depression for a few months.

With my daughter i again tried for a vb as i too didnt really want another c/s as i had another child at home (almost 2) who constantly wants to be picked up all the time and wouldnt understand that i couldnt pick him up if i did have a c/s. I laboured for 6 hours only to get to 4cm this time and again prosterior so a c/s was the way to go. I hated the thought of not being able to pick up my boy but i had to put that aside and focus on getting my girl out.

My son was very good after the birth as he now had al ittle sister and it didnt worry him that i couldnt pick him up all he wanted to do was look at his new sister.

But i do beleive that you can have a vbac and that pray that you suceed...but if not dont feel bad that you wont be able to pick your oldest son up as its really not that long before he can be back in your arms...2 weeks and i was picking up my son again

Thanks girls - im very scared i cant shake it - i just want things to go smoothly and my placenta is in the front this time which can make the baby posterior also - and she was measuring a bit above average for her age (last US done at 32 weeks) .

either way im anxious as and just want it over nd done with so i can get on with being a mum of 2....

her movements have slowed alot - im hoping its gonna happen very soon..

i felt and still feel a bit of failure i know its silly but all my mates have popped them out no drugs etc and in a few hours it makes me feel like "well why couldnt i do it".

Anyway - thak you for your support it means alot and its good to hear from ladies whom have been there done that what ever the outcome...

The Ob said they wont let me labour for too long which for me is a relief - im happy to go with what they recommend.

Thanks again :)

Hi meegm, both my cherubs were posterior. DS was a pretty hard and very long labour (almost 24 hours) and ended in an emergency CS.
DD was a relatively quick labour - arrived at hosp at 6am fully dilated at 10am ad then I pushed for 2 hours. It ended in an assisted delivery (forceps) and I'm grateful that I was able to experience a vaginal birth.
BUT, if you are really terrified then don't do it! The extra stress on you and your baby just might not be worth it.
I know I will probably get shot down for saying don't try a VBAC but if you really are as terrified as you say then maybe it's not for you.
Having a repeat CS doesn't mean you failed, it doesn't mean you didn't give birth "properly" and it doesn't mean you chickened out. It just means you made a decision that was right for you and your child.

Best wishes.

Make sure you are well informed and read on VBAC, with information (good info at that) it really helps the confidence and excitement of it all.

* Silent Knife
* Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth
* VBAC Companion
* Pink Kit

:hug: to you. i believe the second time around is easier - i had a VBAC homebirth after my twins with a eight-and-a-half pound baby - because your body knows more what to do and you know more of what to expect. it may sound a little new-age, but have you ever written down the story of your first birth? sometimes it helps process the trauma. and Bach flower remedies can help bring up old stuff too.

as Kelly says, information (both medical and anecdotal) will help you make an informed choice. in the end, you will decide what is right for YOU.

Thank you ladies - Yes Dragon fly i have written it down but im still frightened ..

im so wishing i would go into labour like NOW i want it to just be over and done with the waiting is not helping just gives me more time to think.

:hug: the debriefing process can take a lot of time, i know. still, you have made a start ... i know it wont help much me saying this but just trust your body, and your baby, to be birthed in the way that she needs to be. the buddhists say we choose how we will enter the world because we chose to learn a certain lesson, and that was the only comfort i got for my son's birth. it did help, eventually.

calm thoughts and happy labour vibes heading your way!

Thats a great way to look at it DF thanks.