Negative body image after baby

I have always had issues with how I look, now I realise how good I looked back then, LOL. 20/20 hindight is a great thing!! Now after 2 babies in quick succession, my body isn't looking very good. Besides being at my heaviest weight ever, I have really severe stretchmarks on my belly, and my skin is stretched to the point that there is no going back no matter how much weight I lose and my bb's are well...mummy bbs!! (IYKWIM??)

I'm really having issues with how I look. DH and I DTD for the first time the other day and I was very self conscious about it. TO the point I didn't enjoy it at all. I ended up in tears over it. DH has no problem with how I look, he's not the problem. And now I'm avoiding being naked in front of him and DTD again, not cause I don't want to just cause I'm so self conscious. I don't like him touching me and can't stand the sight of myself in the mirror. I don't like how I look at all, in clothes, naked...it's really getting to me.

So how do I reconcile with myself over this? These are things that aren't going to go away without some serious plastic surgery, which I doubt I'd ever do! Did anyone else have issues? Did you get over it somehow, if so how?

ok you need to look at those stretch marks as wonderful things they are marks to be proud of you...they are not something to be ashamed off

that said :comfort:

Hugs sweety...Be kind to yourself your body has just done the most amazing job it could ever do.

I felt like you when DD was born 10 months ago. I have put heaps of pressure on myself to lose weight and I went through months on self loathing, but alas I started to take charge of my negative thoughts and I gradually worked on a plan to get myself feeling better.

Firstly whilst you are recovering from having a new bub just try and do some thing positive for yourself every day...I cut back on coffee and chocolate..I said cut back not give up!!!

When you are feeling really bad give yourself a hug and remind yourself that slowly but surely you'll get back to normal.

When DD was 6 months old I decided to start getting myself together via diet and exercise. I made very small and gradual changes. Now I am exercising 5 days per week and I am not eating any junk. So far I have lost 3kgs and I am starting to feel like me again..Oh yeah it has taken nearly 10months to feel comfort dtd again.

It is up to you to decide what you need to do to help yourself feel better, but do it with baby steps:)

Thanks ladies.

Rach, I know that my body is like this because it has done something miraculous, but that doesn't help me when I'm looking in the mirror! I try to think of it like that, but it's hard.

Bek, I have cut out chocolate, coffee and dairy for DS. It really unsettles him when I eat it and feed him, so that's all gone :( Good on you for taking charge of yourself. I am trying but with two young babies and a huge lack of sleep, I'm finding things hard sometimes. But on the other hand, I have to make myself do things and stop procrastinating! I know I feel batter after a walk, but it's just doing it and getting the 3 of us all ready and then psyching myself up to go down and up 3 flights of stair with the kids!

Awww you are beautiful honey, just beautiful - you made gorgeous babies!!!!!

HOWEVER - I have stretch marks too (from my two in quick succession too) and I have a great cream (I call it my miracle cream) as it took away my stretch marks from DS - and is workin hard to get rid of the really bad ones from DD. If you want to know the name of the cream let me know ... ;)

And I have recently started a diet for myself - cos I'm a heavy girl too - and I'd like to get back to 68kgs!!!!

Take it easy though - Liam is still so young!!!! And remember that we always see ourselves worse than what others do...

Aww, thanks Mel!

I know Liam is still only little (hehe, you can't talk Mekhelti isn't much older!!) but I'm so uncomfy with myself. We must have a pretty similar bodyshape, cause I was about 65-68kgs pre-pregnancies (ie, all of my pg's not just the ones that resulted in my kidlets).
When I say I have stretch marks, they're not just normal pregnancy stretchmarks, they're severe, they go from just under my rib cage to my pubic bone and around to my sides. I even had several midwives comment on them while I was pg and after I had Liam. And my actual skin tissue is really stretched too, there's nothing bar plastic surgery that will fix that, and I think I'm too wussy to do that!
I am trying to be healthy with food etc. Trying to do things for me to feel better, but I jsut feel so horrible about myself.

:hug: if you had booty too hunny, then we would be the same... I got a lot of junk in my trunk.. LMAO

Seriously - my cream is great stuff - I get it online from the US - they courier it to Aus free of charge. Mine go really really bright red - and long - all the way up to my belly button from my.. uh.. area... LOL.. and after DS - they were all gone.. I was so impressed...

Oh and I can email you a copy of my diet if you like... I don't mind sharing it!!!! Its just restricting your calories so you lose weight, even if you don't exercise very much (or like me - not at all cos too busy chasing after a toddler!!)

I know what its like though - I've been a fatty all my life!!!! Its time to acknowledge the beautiful people we are inside - the outside is just the cover on the cushion - it can be changed....;)

arimeh can you pm me the name of cream and what the hell email me your diet my email is in prfoile :)

I'll take them too :) Why not!!

kellieem@hotmail.com

Thanks hun.

Me too... that cream sound like a miracle. I'll PM you my email...

Okie dokie!!!

it's a hard one - i had 6 1/2 and 7 1/2 pound twins at 24, and suddenly went from girly to saggy mummy tummy, which due to the massive stretchmarks will never go away. i was lucky, tho, that BF the twins took a fair bit of the weight off straight away. my second pg, four years later wasn't so much of a shock, but i found it harder to get the self-esteem back that time. walking and Tai Chi did it for me - got the muscles back and firmed me up a bit, but i remember how hard it was to leave the house and the sheer effort to get everyone ready. i had a nappy bag that was always packed with lots of spares and extra clothes, and every time i used something out of it i repacked it straight away so i could just always grab it and go. we lived 30k out of town at the time!

fast-forward to this year and 3 m/c in a row have left me overweight and saggy again, but now spring is here, walking the dog is my saviour - and i actually don't give a rat's what the neighbours think when i head out in my tatty fisherman's pants and gardening shoes.

walking is recommended on so many levels - it increases endorphins, which will lighten your mood, it gets you oxygenated, and 20 mins of raised heartbeat 3 times/week will get you losing weight at a safe rate.

above all, be kind to yourself !!! those stretchmarks, like mine, are your battle scars, and wear them with pride!!! look at the healthy kids you birthed because of them :D

me too Mel!!!

Kel, i know how you feel. Try and take control now, my issues are what lead to PND ( a lot of other things as well, but it is till significant!)

Ash - whats your email? i don't have it on this laptop (had it on the one the died..)

And for anyone attempting my diet - I weighed in this morning - after one week on the diet ... with a loss of 2.9kg....

:)

ashnant at tpg.com.au

Thanks hun!!

Sounds great, now i just need to find the motivation to stick to it!

Righto Ash - its on its way

Aw Kel, just wanted to give you massive :hug: :hug: :hug:
I SO KWYM about being uncomfortable naked - I have felt that way since being pg with Natty :(
It is so tough to change our thought processes and see ourselves differently (i.e. beautiful, regardless of how much extra skin is there!) but that's what we need to do.
I'm thinking of meditation (yep, hippy, but worth a try, LOL!) for starters. Maybe even just before going to sleep (I know - a rare occurrence for you atm ;) ) to remind yourself that you are powerful, strong, capable, and beautiful. It may well do wonders!
As for weight loss, it's totally doable. You recommended WW to me once, and I intend to do it one day. AND I've also heard that 6 months of intensive 1 on 1 pilates is FANTASTIC for getting into shape. But is very expensive... So I'm still thinking that's a long way away for me.
Anyway, look after yourself babe, and keep reminding yourself that D thinks you are mighty sexy (and no doubt you totally are!) even if you don't feel it right now. xx