night question

Im sorry I keep posting with so many questions!! All the advice has been great. I just want to ask if anyone can help me with this one. Coco is 5 weeks and we have no routine, but she seems to be ok yesterday and today. I've worked out that if I feed 3 hourly and not before 3 hours, then she's able to sleep a bit better. If she gets tired signs but wont settle I can give her a dummy and she'll sleep until feed time. The question is, she's asleep now (it's 6pm) and has been since 4pm. Before that it's been on and off naps all day. Do you think I should let her sleep late and then just hope for the best tonight, or should I have her awake at this time so she has a better chance of settling at night? The last two nights she's slept well but she was awake for a couple of hours before bed. I am worried she will be up tonight if I let her sleep now.
Sorry< I hope I made sense, i think I rambled on!! xoox

I understand your nervousness about letting her sleep Meg. The poor little thing is probably just as sleep deprived as you. Maybe this is the start of better things (touch wood!). If you feel you should wake her, then do it, but maybe just try to gently wake her by touching her face or something. This way she wont be startled out of sleep and be upset and may be more willing to go back to sleep later. If this doesn't rouse her she is probably really tired and may be best to let her sleep on.

I personally wouldn't wake her.I went through this with Gemma and still do and Gemma is nearly 4 months and we don't have a set routine.She's demand fed and I just look for tired signs as to when she wants to nap. Gemma sometimes will have a nap before bedtime and I just figure she needs that little bit extra today.I may just put her to bed a bit later, until she's actually tired and then I know she'll sleep soundly for the night.I know this doesn't work for all babies.

Are you wanting to get into a routine?Or you just want to go by Coco's ques that she gives you?My sister has had her 11 month old in a routine and it works for her, but I prefer Gemma leading the way.

It really is up to you.Your so not alone though, like I said I still worry that she may be napping to much and won't sleep.But if she wakes during the night then she wakes, I just think how many other thousands of women are up pacing the floors with their babies right now, and it helps me through the night time wake ups!

Honestly Meg, I know it is tough when you are sleep deprived....it used to make me feel like all my confidence has gone out the window, but after some disasters with waking Olivia when she evidently wanted to sleep, I realised I was always best to leave her to make her own little mind up.....especially at that tiny age.

Babies of Coco's age haev an "awake" window of around 1.5 hours, regardless of how much sleep they have had previously ie they will feel knackered after only 1.5 hours of being awake, so will need to sleep again soon enough anyway.

I found, eventually, with Olivia, that if I missed her tired signs, and she was awake for longer than 2 hours, that was when she she was totally over-tired and really really fought sleep: that was when we went through the OMG she hasn't slept for 8 hours type of days, which were tough....so I know how you feel.

My advice would be to let her sleep, and then when she wakes, feed her, have some interactive time for a while, and really watch out for her tired signs, and then pop her back to bed again. It'll likely be inconvenient for your evening/dinner etc, but that's just life with a baby I reckon.

(All babies tired signs seem to be a little varied...Olivia would get "glazed" and disinterested and her first yawn was optimum time for back to bed. Wheras Charlie goes all jerky and makes loud talking noises (not cries, but not laughter: more like frustrated yelps?!) Coco will no doubt have her own too....

Trust yourself and trust her.......HTH

My motto has always been let sleeping babies lie!

Bon

I've got to laugh. If only I still had this problem. Coco actually doesn't sleep at ALL now, so i dont' have to worry about waking her. She has had two 20 minute naps today (between 7am and 9pm. I now can't settle her). I am going extremely crazy. SHe isn't particularly upset either. I dont' know what to do....

Oh Meg, you poor thing. It sounds like you are feeling very frazzled. Perhaps Coco is over tired now if she can't be settled?

If you want to try and get her into a nice rhythm for the evening, have you thought about having a little "routine" like giving her a nice long deep bath (I know Jacob used to find this so relaxing that he'd fall asleep in the bath!), followed by some quiet time with you in a dark, warm room and having a nice long feed. Over time she may associate that with her big overnight sleep. I'm not saying that you should put in place any kind of rigid routine as I don't really think little babies can really 'fit' into any strict routine, I just mean something that is nice and relaxing for all of you and that can be a bit flexible....done around those awake times and that gently helps little ones undersand the difference between night and day over time.

Perhaps when you think she is tired, you could set up some kind of little 'sleep cue' or 'sleep message' for her so over time she knows those words/actions mean sleep - it may help her feel a bit more secure? You would probably be doing a lot of other hands on things too - wrapping, rocking, stroking or even music, massage, that kind of thing too, particularly when she is this little and needs your help with sleep.

I'm just tossing around ideas here Meg. I know how frustrating this must be for you.

Meg, I've just gone back and read another thread of yours that you posted not so long ago. My apologies, as I think I may have repeated myself in my last post as I posted a bit of that in that thread also.

I noticed that you mentioned that you had to feed her to sleep - are you still doing that? That can often be a sure fire way to help littlies to sleep and can be so very comforting. I know a lot of people say "feed/play/sleep" but a lot of babies fall into a pattern of feed/play/feed/sleep and I think that's perfectly fine - each baby is different in what they need.

How are you going with the Chiropractor? You mentioned that Coco poos a lot on the days that she has been there.

Also, what things do you do to try and settle her and how long do you spend trying the same thing? Where does she sleep these days - is she co-sleeping, in a cot or bassinette (in your room or her own) etc etc? Is she wrapped or have a sleeping bag or something like that? I'm just thinking out loud here and trying to work through what may be happening.......

Hi Melinda,
thanks for your advice!!
Generally at night I give her her first feed of the night in the bedroom, lights off etc. She will then have to be rocked to sleep in my arms then I put her in her snuggle bed in the cot. She doesn't seem to settle herself anymore, although this morning for the first time in weeks she did. I have a feeling the wind medicine I was giving didn't agree with her, Im going to post in the colic thread about that.
I do give a bath at night as well, I think she's aware of night and day now. Just now she's having a nap in the lounge room in her rocker, quite different from the night.
I will report back in a few days and tell if things have improved.
our chiro has been away, we go back next monday. She poos about 3 times on the day we have been to chiro!!right now we're day 3 no poo.
We've also got the paediatrician next week andIm giong to ask for an u/s if nothings improved.
xoxo