Pretending to be sick

Just after ideas on how to tackle this.... DS1 has started saying he is sick and pretending to take tablets :o

I suspect this is due to the huge amount of attention DS2 needs, and my constantly saying "just a minute love, ds2 is sick, just got to get him settled, just doing his tablet" etc (which i am because he has severe reflux).

I see he is expressing his need for more attention, and i am devastated its manifested itself this way.... we tend to live holistically and i hate that he's picked up the message of "you're sick, you take a tablet", but it just so happens, that out of everything we've tried for DS2, he still has the losec tablets. I myself also take various vitamins and was just on 3 separate courses of antibiotics the past month, so he saw me taking a myriad of tablets too :(

So far, i've just been reassuring him that he's not sick, and explaining that tablets are only for sick people if they need them...... BUT perhaps i should not be dismissing his conviction that he is sick, though i also don't want to humour him when he isn't... HOW do i tackle this? i want him to feel heard and valid... but also understand that he isn't sick and that i am uncomfortable with him pretending to take tablets. (he literally picks up little things and puts them in his mouth - pretending of course). Would you suggest engaging in more conversation about what it means to be sick, and the treatment options (ie, theres more than just medication) or would you say its just a phase and to not make a big deal about it - ie, distraction, change subject.

Feel free to ignore this as I am not sure how I would react in your situation. I am so sorry that DS2 needs to take tablets for reflux and you have been unwell.

Maybe ask where he feels sick and see what he says. Then explain that DS2 needs the tablets to drink and is not "sick" per se. Does that make sense? I am not trying to trivialise DS2 condition but if DS1 sees it from another point of view, then he may stop. Is that possible?

Also instead of saying "just a minute love, ds2 is sick, just got to get him settled, just doing his tablet" etc, ask DS1 to get something ready for you two to play when you have finished helping DS2 (if he is into cars, something like "can you get your cars ready on the loungeroom floor and we will play when i have finished helping DS2"). Give him something else to focus on and don't mention tablets so he loses the strong association in his mind.

As I said, feel free to ignore. Good luck.

I hear what you are saying but I wouldn't worry too much. As natural as you want to be there is a place for western medicine and DS will see that too.

You just haven't had much of a chance to show him the holistic way just yet, but there are many opportunities. I have the kids 'help' me make dinner and I point out how this is good for you and what good things that will do for your body to keep it healthy and strong.

When my DS finishes dinner now he announces how strong he will be the next day because of all the vitamins he just consumed. There will be times when your DS is unwell too, and when you don't treat him with a tablet, he will see there are other ways to get better and stay healthy.

And what Rach said about getting the cars ready.....

Huge :hug: hun!

Here's a bit of a different view. I have to take medication for life to supplement my failing thyroid gland. Not only do i have to take it, i have to take it on an empty stomach and i cannot eat for at least 30mins after taking it. For this reason DD usually has 2 breakfasts, one when she wakes and one when i have mine (she eats my toast, so i just make an extra slice :)). But it's a "thing" that mama takes meds, because it stops us eating our first meal together.

She too went through a phase of saying "gonna take a mama pill" and talking about it, and picking up odd bits of felt or card and putting it in her mouth, but i never tell her i'm sick. It's not strictly true anyway, because i don't take meds because i'm sick, i take them to stay well. Anyway she is now old enough to have one of those chewy multivitamins and she has hers every morning when i have my medication. She asks for it "orange-circle-guy". :)

The medication i'm on could kill her if she took it, and for that reason i HAVE to talk to her about it being dangerous for her. I've let her feel my thyroid in my throat and explained that it's a bit broken and needs a pill to help it, but that hers (put her hand to her own throat) is perfect and the pills to help mama would make her very sick.

Anyway, up until i got a running injury that actually NEEDED anti-inflammatory's to heal, i hadn't taken any kind of painkiller even for over 8 years! I NEVER take pills. I haven't taken paracetamol for nearly a decade. And yet i'm popping pills every day as far as she sees. I am confident however, that i can show her the fullness of my policy on medication as time goes on.

Try not to focus on it or worry about it too much. Young children often follow what is happening and try to "fit in" - it's a totally natural response to help them fit in with their immediate family/tribe/community and is a symptom of being a social animal.

As far as talking about DS2's meds, how about "Hang on honey, i'm giving DS2 his tablet so his tummy won't hurt later on. That way he can have a good sleep and we can play." This shifts the focus onto wellness not illness and lets DS1 see that though DS2 needing his tablet gets him a little attention in the immediate sense, ultimately it isn't taking his mummy-time away. This is still such early days in their relationship and chances are DS1 is still just exploring his role as a big brother and having to share his parents.

Try not to worry, you're doing a great job. I hope DS2 grows out of his reflux ASAP!

Bx

:hug: I wouldn't be too worried hun. If he's anything like my DS, I suspect it's more that he's imitating for the novelty value than anything else. There is probably an element of attention seeking, but I wouldn't be too worried. DS1 loves to copy anything and really that is normal, they learn from imitation. I would go along with it. Make him some "tablets" to take - I'm not sure how good his imagination is, but pretty much anything would do I suspect, maybe even sultanta or something. Just call it a "tablet". See you go with that. If it works he'll probably be really happy to be included and then the novelty will wear off. And I personally don't think that it is going to give him the idea that sick always equals tablets. I think as he gets older and learns from what you do more, he'll understand that there are other options.

Holistic approach - treating the whole body well. When just one part of the body needs treatment, you still treat just that part. Holistic doesn't mean never taking a pill to make you healthy again. It means living as healthily as possible to minimise the amount of pills you may need in the future. It doesn't mean never taking pills.

We do holistic living. We also take medical treatments - "alternative" or prescribed - as needed. NEEDED. Maybe it's time to take about "needing" and "wanting". Such as "DS2 needs to take his tablet to be healthy, why did you want to take a tablet when you don't need to? It's so much better to be healthy like you. When DS2 is bigger he won't need these tablets and will be healthy without them, but now he needs them to be healthy. We don't like tablets, but we have to do them. It's worse than [insert chore here]! But we need to do it, so we do. Why doesn't my big, strong, healthy boy show me how good and fantastic he is by bringing me a book/toy so we can all enjoy this after the yicky tablet?"

I agree with everyone else but it is important that you talk to your DS1 about how taking other peoples tablets can make you very sick (which is not good) and that it is better to be strong and healthy than sick.

I am jsut worried that one day he will pick up some medication and consume it and end up very sick.

I would try and make a big deal about how great it is that he is so healthy and strong and is always there to help mum IYKNWIM.

I agree with you that he is most likely doing it to get you attention so make sure you give him your attention for being so strong and like a super hero!

Good Luck