Should I be concerned?

Hello Everybody,

I feel kinda silly posting this but I need to know if I should be concerned about DD.

Sara is nearly 3yo and is extremely bright. She has reached milestones way ahead of time. She speaks 2 languages, she dances, plays well with other kids, etc but she has particular ways of doing things and if you muck with her system then all hell breaks lose.

For instance if I help her off the toilet she'll scream to the point of hyperventilation, until I let her get back on and get off her self. Same for getting in and out of the bath, on or off her bed. She won't let me dress her. There are other little things but you get the picture. My mum has OCD and I concerned that Sara may have some of her traits.

Is this normal 3yo behaviour? What should I do/look for?

:hug: Bek. Obviously I don't have a 3-y-o so can't give you personal experience, however from books I have read, many youngsters are very big on controlling what they can. Is it possible to reason with her? Like when you are in a hurry and need to dress her quickly?
Perhaps you could have a chat to your family Dr or a MCHN that you trust?
All the best - it must be very trying on your patience! :hug:

Snacks - It is hard to reason with her, in the end it is easier just to let her do it all herself then cause a scene. Getting dressed is a nightmare. If I help in anyway or touch any item of clothing she'll derobe and start again. She is the ultimate control freak...mine you she does come from a long line of us

Oh dear! LOL. I can just imagine. Hoping she grows out of it very soon for you.
(And hoping someone with a similar story posts soon and sets your mind at ease!)

Don't panic but I would get her checked out, it does sound like some of the traits of OCD or aspegers but maybe its just her personality. Its very easy to think the worst but it could be nothing so you need to set your mind at ease.

Thanks Snacks

Mostly have thought it was her personality but my SIL witnessed a bathing experience the other night and she told me whilst rolling her eyes "my girls are never like that"...geeze she's fussy isn't she!!! Kinda got me thinking.

Like mrsmac said, I wouldn't worry too much about it, but it is something to stow away for later if you need it.

My 2 yr old will scream the house down if we put her up on the trampoline, she HAS to climb the ladder herself :rolleyes: so we often have to take her off the tramp to let her do it herself... She is normal. Very normal... but I have perspective from her older sister.

My 4 yr old would have held her breath until she passed out, or done self harm if we did something that wasn't what she thought was happening. She still will have massive melt downs if things don't go the way she thought they should, i.e. we give her the wrong coloured straw with her drink for dinner, she can't verbalise what is wrong but it takes an hour or so of screaming to work it out. She is in the diagnosis rollercoaster ride for Asperger's...

HTH.

Christy - I hope you get some anwers soon re DD4. I will keep an eye on Sara.

I have spoken with her daycare teacher and she seems nothing wrong. Apparently she is the life of the party!!! Although her last dc teacher wanted me to have her hearing checked when she was 20 months to 2yrs because she would not respond to verbal instruction without having eye contact. Her hearing is fine it is just very selective. DH and I worked very hard to teach her to listen when being spoken to, it took months.

My DstepD had to have her hearing checked as the day care people thought she was hearing impaired. It was just selective hearing. I also remember her having some awful tantrums at around 3. Her big things were wanting to open the public toilet doors, flushing the toilet & putting the taps on. If I forgot & did it for her she would go absolutely mental. She's now grown out of it. She was also a shocker with washing her hair but is much better now. We are still working on the hair brushing - let's just say that's still a nightmare. She's completely normal.

DD 2.5 will only wear what she wants to and has certain things her way in order for her not to throw a mega tanty! My friends DD 2.5 sounds very similar to yours but in relation to getting int he car to go anywhere. She has to do it herself and if she thinks you have touched her in any stage of the process she will have to back and start again so the process of leaving the house can sometimes take up to 30min - not fun when she has to get DD5 to school!!

It sounds like fairly typical behavior for her age but if it doesn't improve as she gets older then I would definitely look into it further.

Nai - I had the car seat issue from 18months to 2yrs. She is better now but some days she reverts back to that issue. Now it is not so much doing the seat belt up it is about closing the car doors. I know how your friend feels, between getting dressed, going to the loo by herself, having breakfast (breakfast takes 45mins alone), then getting the right toy for the car ride, and then the car door issue..well I am usually needing a strong coffee even before I leave the house.

My son Jacob is the same.. Although he is getting better... its like he turned 3 and settled down a bit..

for example we had a major melt down this morning because we forgot to let him shut the car door.. 15 mins he screamed for before we just pulled over and reopened the door.. I kid you not he was all smiles then

I asked the CHN last month about his "odd" behaviour but she said it is perfectly normal.. highly frustrating but normal..

Nic - Sara is all smiles once she gets her own way too...I swear some days she just wants to play the power struggle game...little pia!!!

Jacob is the same.. it is so frustrating.. on the bright side he goes to bed like a dream :lol: UNLESS i have changed the bed sheets without telling him...

Sounds at lot like my eldest. Will absolutley crack it if she does not get her own way most of the time. Often it is just simple things like wanting to crawl under the baby to get to her seat in the car. I have had screaming in the street and then refusal to be strapped in for not letting this happen. She is also the life of the party at childcare and very bright, especially verbally. Her main problem at the moment is refusing to wear clothes that are too stripey :rolleyes: which is a pain, as most of the hand me downs we have received are stripey. Stripes must have been in fashion 5 years ago.

Thanks everyone for your input, much appreciated