Knowing the Enevitable

Hi everyone,
This is my first time on this site so forgive me if I don't use all the accronyms yet! I am still trying to get to know them all! My friend put me onto this website as she thought it might help me talk to others who have been or going through the same things as me. My DH and I have been TTC for the past 22 months. After seeing so many other friends fall pg and we were still trying, we took ourselves off to our GP - he wanted us to keep trying but we insisted on a referral to a IVF Specialist who had been recommended to us as I just had this underlying feeling that there was something wrong. So, as I sit here now after being poked and prodded to find out what is "wrong" with us in fertility terms - to which there was nothing conclusive, we had our first embryo tranfered Sunday week ago. We had 7 embryos and only only one made it to blastacyst stage, all the others were destroyed. All last week I thought things were going well but I started to spott on Monday and as of this morning, I have been bleeding quite heavily. I know I need to go and have the blood test to confirm my fears but I know we have lost it. I can't explain to my friends who are being so supportive of how I feel. My dream like so many others, was to get get married and have a family. My DH has been so supportive and said we will try again. I know there are other couples out there who have been trying for so much longer than us and who have been through countless IVF treatments. To those of you, I am in awe of you. I never realised just how emotional this would all be and the toll it takes on your life. My brain will not switch off - it is with me constantly. I am going to keep my fingers crossed that we will be successful and we will have that beautiful baby we crave for.

oh Fergie,

I am so sorry the bub didn't stay... please don't feel disheartened. You will find that it is very rare for first time IVF to be successful, even if the female is young and has no fertility issue (like my situation for instance). It takes at least one or two more stimulated cycles for our body to respond to the treatment. Let us know how you go with your blood test (BT)

Thanks Kahlan,
I have just spoken to my nurse who said we might have to wait until the new year to start again - it will all depend on my period. I would think that that will be fairly likely. That makes me feel better that it might take a few cycles. Hopefully, 2009 will bring us the news we want to hear. I have asked my nurse to put on my file that I will need sedation for the transfer as it was incredibly painful - my cervix was not aligned properly, so the DR had to move it and then he had to use a metal catheter as the plastic one wouldn't go through. I was expecting it to uncomfortable like a papsmear - I can offically say that it wasn't anything like that!!! my theory is that I will have had enough drugs at that point so a little more won't hurt! Will keep you posted on BT and thanks again for the support.

Hi Fergie, I am so sorry for all you have been going through- it sure is an emotional rollercoaster. You will find this site helpful, as we really do understand and have often been in your shoes.... hang in there ..and let's hope we have our longed for babies next year.
It's also common to feel others dont understand...because they simply don't/can't unless they've been through something similar. That's why this site does help.

Oh Possums,
I am so sorry for you - to get to 8.5 weeks. You're right, this site does help - it puts our experiences into persepctive and to really see that there are so many out there who have been through similar and even more. You are in my thoughts and yes, let's bring on 2009! Thanks for your words of encourgement, I hope that you are doing ok.

Fergie,

Oh that sounds horrible, your transfer experience. Is it possible that it has contributed to your success rate? I was told that how the embie is transfer plays a part in our success. In my last cycle I told my DH to see if there was blood on the catheter.... of course he was too caught up in looking at the screen that he had forgotten.... again!.. Good think for me was I didn't feel a thing. The FS was very gentle. Ask your FS what was the problem with your transfer, is it normal (which having experienced 4 transfers I know it isn't like that), what else can be done next time.

Good luck hun

Hi Fergie- I'm really sorry to read about your loss. It sounds like you've been through a really rough time.

Fergie,

Boy, do I know how you feel......it always, always seemed like it was easy for others to get pregnant and to watch and hear this is not pleasant at all - harder when it is a close friend or relative.

But the other ladies are correct - getting pregnant from IVF in your first go is very rare... so do have hope that is certainly CAN and WILL happen.

It took us 7 embryo transfers for this one to stick (I am now 28 weeks pregnant and feel very blessed). My first stim cycle I had 7 embryos, transferred one at a time over 8 months, NO LUCK. then a break, then another stim cycle. 5 embryos, but only ONE survived to a 4 day embryo and this was the ONE !! I am 38 years old too, so it can happen, I am thinking of you.......

Great to change any bad habits, like drinking and cut down on caffiene, exercise daily and reduce stress levels is important.

What worked also for me? Accupunture!! particularly around the day of egg pick up, transfer and 3-4 days after when implanation may occur........ find a good accuputurist and try it - I believe it worked for me!!

Hey Fergie- I wrote heaps of stuff for you but its been moved to the general conception forum titled 'Conception Advice'.
I didn't want to bombard you- given that you are obviously upset right now. I just wanted to provide you with an alternative perspective, and with some information that your doctor may not have told you in regards to conception. So, please check it out when you can.
I hope this helps you in some way.

Sorry again for your loss.
X

Thanks for all the advice girls. Am feeling better than I did this morning. Have booked to go and see my DR on 3 Dec - looks like we won't be able to start a new cycle until after xmas/ny. I am thinking of trying accupuncture for the next couple of months until we get to the next cycle - any suggestions of what I should be looking for in an accupuncturist? Questions I need to ask? Jellybean, thanks for the info on the other forum - I appreciate all the help and info. I am hoping that the next cycle my DR will increase the gonal and try and get some more eggs so that we may get som embryos to freeze next time.

Again, thanks for all the wishes and advice. Will let you know how I go tomorrow.

In an acupuncturist, try to locate one in your area who has experience with womens health, infertility, assisted conception, pregnancy management, natural inductions etc. If you have a birth centre near you contact them. I found my local birth centre had a few contacts who were able to assist women with turning their babies and natural inductions using acupuncture and those contacts also had experience in the TTC area too.

Good luck

Hi girls - just wanting to let you know that the results of the blood test were as predicted - BFN. Back to the drawing board, however, unfortunately due to xmas we won't be able to start our next Stim cycle until Jan. I have booked in for accupuncture this week and am going to see an osteopath to help me relax the next week. It all can't hurt I guess. A friend recommended Pre-seed to me as DH and I figure we may as well keep trying in the meantime - does anyone know anything about it - good or bad??

Thanks again,
Fergie

Fergie

Reading you post is like reading my own thoughts . I havn't had my BT to confirm my inevidable news, deep down inside im still hoping via some mirical that I could get a bfp, but then reality sets in.

I am interested in hearing any responses in regard to pre seed - perhaps you could ask your fs

xx

Pre-seed is a lubricant, but it mimics sperm and is sperm friendly - good for girls who may not have enough ....ahem....lubrication down there. Most lubricants like KY or Sylk are hostile to sperm, but some people don't get the egg white cervical mucus which is the most fertile.....so apparently you can use the pre-seed and it helps transport the sperm.

hope that helps