TTC after Preterm Birth?

Hi everyone,

I am just wondering how many women there are or have been who have started/made the journey of conception after having a preterm birth.

I guess essentially I am looking for others who have been as terrified or are as terrified about starting the journey all over again and for those who had full term or at least longer term pregnancies and the different ways you coped with the added anxiety of potentially going through the same thing again.

We are going to start TTC in the New Year our motto is New year - New Beginning but I am more scared about the Journey than I am to go jumping on my horses that haven't bee ridien in 2 years :lol:

Any stories would be appreciated.

Nae x x x x

Firstly, I am very sorry for your loss and sending you lots of strength to get through this time. I'm on the TTC journey after losing my little boy at 21 weeks in July from an incompetent cervix. Yes, it is very very hard to start the TTC journey again. When DH and I decided to start trying again, the first time was a disaster. I couldn't stop thinking that we should already be pregnant and was not prepared to face the rollercoaster ride of TTC again. I was bitter and angry and so emotional I sobbed for about 2 hours straight and had to have the next day off work as my eyes were so puffy I looked like I'd been through 10 rounds in the boxing ring.

Everyone copes differently but my desire to be a mum far outweighs what I could potentially go through next time. I promised myself that I will be as neurotic as I like during my next pregnancy and will shop around until I find an OB that will humour me if the current one fobbs any concern off. I have to have a cervical stitch put in next pregnancy and will be required to have frequent check-ups anyway so I am comforted by that.

What was the cause of your loss? Is it something that can be treated next time around? Having a reason or diagnosis can help with the anxiety of it happening again if you are armed with all the information you can find on the cause. I have done so much reading I think I could become an OB now!!

We just can't give up no matter what... Don't be afraid of the unknown as it may never happen. Keep your fear at bay hun and keep telling yourself that you will get your much longed for baby - you deserve it - and it will happen.

Best of luck on your journey. Big hugs xx

dd0207 -

Thanks for your response.
Our story is a bit of what came first the chicken or the egg .... not sure if contractions caused the problem initially or if it was a weak cervix. Basically when I was admitted I had buldging membranes (hence no cervical stitch) and was 2 cm dialated. the rest of my labour was "silent" until one morning I was 6-7 cm dialated and Niki was breech and had to be born via c-sec.

We won't know until the next pregnancy whether it was contactions that started the ball rolling or if my cervix buckled under pressure :rolleyes:

I guess that not knowing makes it harder in some respects.

I have a fabulous Ob who has assured me that they will be taking no chances next time and that I will be monitored weekly and he will be happy to see me 100 times a week if need be (his words)

My desire to be a mum is quite intense its just stepping into the depths of the unknown ... can be so nerve racking. I don't want to live my life afraid but I am scared as hell - which I am sure is perfectly normal too.

Its just nice to hear about others in the same boat because it can be so isolating - same as mourning actually. My friends are either married no kids, single or have had uneventful pregnancies - none know what I have been through nor can truely appreciate what a big deal another pregnancy will be.

Hope your journey is successful and a happy one. please keep me posted and if you ever want to chat/vent pm me anytime :)

Nae x x

Firstly ... I'm so sorry for your loss. I read your birth story or BA (can't remember which one it was) when you posted it and cried mostly through it. :hug:

It's really scary to TTC after a preterm birth ... It was for me anyway. It's still scary in a way, everyday after my prem-date is a new feeling and a new experiance. But you are right, one should not live life in fear. I have no idea what you must be feeling now ... I only had a preterm birth, I did not loose my baby.

All I want to say to you is that you should keep in mind that no two pregnancies are the same. What happened with Nikita, might not happen with the next one and MY feeling is ... if you don't try, you'll never know, kwim?

I am glad you trust your OB and that he is willing to take special care of you. I think that if you have a great relationship with your OB, your'e in good hands. He will know what is best of you and your baby and if you trust him to make the right medical decisions for you ... it can only be in your best intrest.

All the best ... with everything. :)

Nae, I'm so glad you've got a great OB, it will make all the difference. He knows your history and I'm sure he will take good care of you from the sounds of it. He may pop a stitch in just to be safe - I know a few people that had it done just as a precaution and have gone on to have healthy babies (and one of them had to be induced as she was so overdue!). As Nadine said, no two pregnancies are the same so we have to believe that it will NOT happen again.

By no means is it easy, it is absoultely terrifying but as you said, we can't live in fear and obsess about the "what if" - the two worst words in the English language as far as I'm concerned.

I totally agree that this process is so lonely. Friends and family try to understand but they can't truly appreciate the pain and suffering we have been through - that's why we have each other on BB to help us grieve about our past and look forward to a brighter future.

Nae, everything will be ok, I'm certain of it. Feel free to PM me anytime also. Take care and sending you the biggest hug I can muster up. Keep me posted.

Nadine, congratulations on your pregnancy. Wishing you all the best.

Diana xxxx

Nae
I am so sorry for your loss - it is a very difficult time for you at the moment and I understand why you are seeking others. I hope to shed some hope for you - I lost my DS at 24wks due to spontaneous contractions. I went on to get pregnant 3mths later and was monitored closely from 18wks to 30wks. I had my DD at 37wks by a normal labour, no complications and she is a very healthy and happy little girl.

I was devastated when I lost my DS and more so I think because there was no 'reason' hence no help with another pregnancy. I basically took each day as they came, I would use my doctor appointments each week as mini-milestones and took everything very carefully. This did not stop the nightmares or the tears for many months. (Even when she was born and screaming I still could not believe she was here.)

I just want you to know that it can happen and you need to try to relax and remember that all pregnancies are VERY different.
Take care and good luck.
Tess.