babies and christmas

Oh boy...i just went out in my lunch break to start on some xmas shopping and there were so many babies and toddlers in Target I had to walk out! It was just too much for me...I kept staring at them all in that slightly scary obsessive way that women who really want a child sometimes have :redface: and in the end, just made my retreat!
I can tell now this busy Christmas season is going to be a bit tough....with babies and children everywhere.
Just a little observation really, I am sure I am not alone...

Oh Possums,

Im sorry you felt this way today. And yes, you are not alone at all.I was also out yesterday shopping and there was new mums and little babies everywhere. How do I cope? Well, I try not to look at them all. Try to avoid them... But when I do look at them, I realise how cute they are and I try to picture myself in that role one day.

It also helps to look at the Mums with troublesome toddlers that are driving them insane ;). At this point I have a quick smile to myself and realise everyone is going through their own battle in some way or another (not that I am trivialising yours at all though).

Big hugs to you Possum. I am always amazed at how strong you are and Im sure you will pull through this.

diamond, thanks...I will seek out the toddlers having really bad public tantrums ;)

I am doing pretty well overall I think...it's just sometimes it sneaks up on you

like you though, I also try and think...that will be me one day

:hug::hug: oh possums hun i no how you feel ive just come home from getting my grocries and if i see one more pg belly today i think ill go crazy:doh: it hurts to see this for me rite now BUT we will get ther hun i no this
we should be big and fat this xmas i no but the universe has different plans for us hun.
hang in there and just no that this time next year we will have our joy bubbas
big hugs from me to you

Possums, I TOTALLY understand how you feel.

A girl I know came into my work yesterday with her newborn and I just waved to her from my end of the office. I felt really rude and it made it harder as one of the guys in the office got him out of the pram and was holding him but I couldnt do it. Would have burst into tears after the week Ive had. And how do you explain that to someone?

I havent even tackled the shops yet!

As Smithy said, HOPEFULLY it will be us this time next year :D

Cant wait to start the New Year fresh and get Christmas celebrations out of the way. Have to get through Christmas day first :o

Take care girls.

Tania

:hugs: tania. that must have been so hard and awkward for you.

possums, sometimes i think every pregnant woman on earth has moved to my town! but i'm usually fine, just look on in envy or focus on the shoe/clothes/jewellery store instead.

to make matters even worse for us out of our eight closest friends (who are coupled up), six have had a baby in the past 2 months or are due very soon. i swear to god it's a conspiracy against us!

Thanks Hayley.

Its so good to be able to share common experiences with people who understand it all :D

My close friends have already had kids ageing from 3 - 8 yrs old so I feel totally isolated and left behind when it comes to my friends.

Now my younger cousin has had a baby before me only a month ago so Christmas is going to be even harder.

Am feeling a little down this arvo as a friend from work critised me for not wanting to put up a Christmas tree saying "you have to get into the spirit of Christmas" to which I replied, well I dont really feel like it under the circumstances. People just dont fully understand. I mentioned to her about the article on here about Coping with Infertility at Christmas and her response to me was, well I have to cope with being alone this Christmas (as in being single) and I didnt say anything in the end. Wasnt worth it.

Im starting to get annoyed and p*ssed off with people. My DP and you girls are the only ones who can understand.

Sorry to vent. Needed to get it off my chest.

Hope you all have a good weekend.

Cheers,

Tania

Possums :hug:

Someone once gave me the advice of thinking of these new mums as having gone through what we have had to go through/currently going through to get pregnant. Maybe thinking that they have had to have IVF etc and now they have their little miracle would help??? I know if helped me.

I have to say that I have caught some of those longing looks from other women that I used to give. I just want to hug them and tell them it will be alright, their turn will come.

I'm always cheering you on Possums.. you are going to be a wonderful mum very soon.

Janie xxx

possums - you are experiencing what is called product awareness (although i know babies are not 'products')... before you were ttc you wouldnt have blinked twice at a baby not now that you are , and the journey is continuing you are more attune to notice children and babies etc.

I hope it happens soon for you.. and if you desperately need to see some tantrums - just pop over to my place and meet my little girl! :)... it will make you feel better lol

thanks everyone as usual for your lovely and thoughtful replies.

MissMagpie- i totally relate to you...I am often angry and frustrated with people who just dont understand...they really dont get it! And I am in a better place now than I was a month ago, but still....I can imagine how you felt when that lady said she had to cope with being alone...people do have their own struggles, but dont truly have any idea what this feels like unless they have been in our shoes....
I really love christmas and despite the year we've had, I am looking forward to it. However, my enthusiasm is certainly less than it would have been, and some things I am not as excited about now...and I can't help thinking about how I should have a belly right now, instead of back to waiting for another cycle! hugs to you...just know at least here people really do understand.

Janie- that is a good perspective...and I have sometimes said to my DH, I guess we don't know whether or not they had to walk the same path we've had to...so many women have had to do that, and it's not like they then walk around with a sign saying "it too me a long time to conceive this child through IVF" or whatever! And I guess one day people might gaze longingly at MY bump, and not know at all the struggle we've had either

I must admit, I had another lunch break of staring at little babies for tooo long! I have to look away ...I think the women think I am stalking their babies or something :lol: