What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Ok girls I am just after a little bit of advice here because I really dont know :redface:

I have 3 little boys, one starts school next year and I have a 3yr old and a 15 month old. I am needless to say DESPERATE for a little girl and always have been. Ive started to do a little bit of reading up on 'how to get a girl' and find it really interesting...you see the thing is...

Ive been accepted in to uni next year to study my Masters of Midwifery. Ive previously completed most of the course (in 2003) but pulled out right at the end to have my first son and I never went back. My husband and I thought next year would be good as the first 6 months of the course is external and by June/July, my youngest little man would be ready for a day or two of daycare whilst I was at uni.

However ive recently had this overwhelming feeling of cluckiness and we are starting to re-evaluate everything. Maybe we should complete our little family first and then I can focus on my career?. Otherwise I will go to uni for the next 18 months and then probably work for a little while, and it will be another few years before I can have another bub. Thats just way too long!!! :o

I just really dont know....and I was wondering what everyone else thought...

Hi..

I only have 1 child atm, and was contemplating starting my nursing degree next year, but we have decided to put it off 1 more year and if all goes to plan, have another baby next year. We only want 2 children so hopefully will be able to start my course at age 31. It is something I have always wanted to do, and think I will regret if I don't do it.

Personally, I think my career can wait for me to fulfil my motherhood dreams 1st. I was studying in a totally different field that related to my work, and decided to stop that, have a family then follow my career dream..

GL with making the decision.. Not an easy one.

Heather

You wouldnt believe it....after ten minutes of writing that thread my husband just handed me the mail and in it was both my QLD Nursing registration acceptance and my university acceptance package....could this decision get any harder!!! :wall:

IF I WAS IN YOUR SHOES?!

I would go for the 'completeing my family' road..... as you can study at anytime, and it wouldnt make much difference... BUT, the longer you wait to complete your family, the bigger gap you'll get between kids, and i dont think its what you want?!

So, thats my 2c :D

GoodLuck

Wooooo exciting times!!!

I think it depends on your view of your "perfect family". Does it contain HUGE age gaps, or do you like the thought of having them close together? Do you want your 3 boys to grow up together - and then have a little sister for them later on? Or do you want a little sister (or brother) for them to play with now?

It is a hard call. I'm not studying, but we are going to TTC #3 next year - just to have all the kids close together - because thats how we see our perfect family.

Up to you chickie - I'm supporting you for that girl though ;)

Its a very hard decision....im wondering if recieving the papers just as I wrote this thread should be a sign :rolleyes:

That completely depends on what Both you and DH think. I would possibly look at deferring your placement and get onsite daycare when you do go back. Otherwise I would consider whether a bub later would be such a bad thing - a bonus baby. Maybe get a long term contraception like a Mirena and make your decision in a few months. If this bub is another girl for us we will do the Mirena and then make the decision after a year or 2.

IF I WAS IN YOUR SHOES....

I would definately be choosing to complete my family first ....you can study anytime but the longer you leave it to have more kids the harder it will become ,and as we get older falling pregnant in the first place can take longer.

Goodluck deciding

I would do family first then career. But that is just me, I have never really been career focused, it's all about the cute chubby babies here lol

I think I would do family first, get the baby stage over and done with then move on to the next stage of my life

Thanks so much for all your advice. However, I think I have decided to go the Uni path. Ive spoken to a few people, as well as my Mum and ive decided that trying to organise studying and clinical experience time, as well as uni attendance would be even more of a nightmare with 4 children, rather than three. My oldest starts school next year and my 3yr old will probably go to kindy for a few days, so it will just be my 15 month old to consider. Then after I finish uni I can have another bub and as my lovely mum said, "sit back and enjoy it!!". :dance:

Thanks again girls!!....ill see you back in this thread in a couple of years :p

Wow, that didn't take you long to decide...good on you darl.

All the best i hope everything works out just the way you have planned it too!

Hi,
Good luck with it all! I think that you are making a smart decision. I went back to work full time this year and was hoping to be pregnant by now but unfortunately that didn't happen and had I have said no I will wait until I have another baby and then go back I would be faced with a tough decision as I wouldn't be able to afford to stay at home and would have missed out on saving enough money all in the hope that I would get pregnant again! I say live your life and do what you want to do and things will always work out even if you do get pregnant again!
Hope that all made sense, wishing you well with your course!

That's a great decision.

I don't think it's necessarily true that you can study anytime, so have babies first.

I also like to think that sometimes things happen to give you a push, and i would see the envelope arriving just after you posted as a sign you are going the right way.

Good luck

Hi Claire,

Good luck with your masters next year. You'll be fine. And it's only 12 months to do your masters isn't it? So it won't be too too long until you can try for that little girl.

I'm hoping to start BMid in 2010 - but want to squeeze in another bub beforehand ;) otherise I'd have 4 more years until I could have #2 and that would be Wayyy to much of a gap.

Hi Mummabear,
Good luck with the study. As for me, I probably would have given that advice anyway! I have studied my own degree full time while working full time, and did some part time study whilst on ML. Now I am back at work part time and am going to do 2 units first sem and 1 unit second sem to finish my second degree...

...then! I will do my MBA the following year.

If I get a BFP somewhere in amongst all that, then bring it on. You can always defer, drop a unit, apply for extended leave, etc etc. Uni is so flexible that there is always a way if you're motivated, which sounds like you are.

I am from the "suck it and see" school of thought :rolleyes: or from the "glutton for punishment" school of thought, depending on who you ask.

Good luck again,