Adopting a relative from OS?

Has anyone adopted a child related to them who is from overseas?

My auntie is very sick with lung cancer and we are not sure she is going to make it. She has two older children who have left home and one younger daughter who is 14, whose father died of cancer a few years back. We are not entirely sure whether there is family to take the youngest girl in if my auntie dies. Although we are not particularly close with that family being so far apart we have said she would be very welcome in our home and we are serious in saying that. It would be a huge change for her but she would have a stable home for as long as she wanted. Most likely it won't need to happen but I wanted to start looking into this in case it needs to happen. So any advice is very welcome.

Wow - that's a tricky one.

Our situation is not the same but we are moving my DSD over here from the US and she's 15.

I guess my suggestion would be to start having discussions involving your niece about this asap. I know that emotionally this is already a very difficult time for her but it would be just awful if her mum does die and then she feels like she has no say in where she's living and all of a sudden she's moving overseas. I'm not saying that's the case in your situation by the way, just braindumping a bit. If she knows her mum's illness is terminal she has probably already started thinking about where she wants to live and who knows, she may just be assuming she'll live with her siblings.

Counselling has really helped our DSD so I would highly recommend that. Like I said, our situation is completely different but counselling has given DSD an outlet to talk through her feelings about where she wants to live ie. with us here rather than with her mum in the US. It has also given us the reassurance that she wants to come out here for the right reasons and that she has fully thought it through. I know that DSD found it enormously difficult to tell her mum that she no longer wanted to live with her because she's a good kid and didn't want to upset her mum so that's why it was great that she was able to tell that to a third person so that her mum wasn't just hearing it from us (who she doesn't believe ... whole other story sorry for that tangent). Your niece might also not want to upset her mum and want to go against what she thinks is best for her, even if your niece has her misgivings.

So, apart from the legal issues, I think it's really important to include your niece in the loop asap (if she's not already) and if possible also give her an outlet where she can talk about her fears/feelings and for her to feel that she is being listened to.

I think that a combination of love and listening is the absolute key when dealing with teenagers.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Sorry for that ramble krysalss - I think in hindsight you were looking more for advice on the legal issues so feel free to ignore all my waffling!

No worries Fiona! Your 'rambling' has helped a lot! I definitely agree about the whole keep her in the loop stuff. I have asked my dad (his side of the family) to let them know how we feel. That way we can know for sure whether plans have been made. At this point I don't even know whether the likelihood of it being terminal has even been acknowledged. I am hoping for her sake there is someone who she can go to who she is close with from her own country as I can just imagine what an upheaval it will all be for her already let alone moving to another country. But we needed to put it out there so she at least has some options. Your situation sounds pretty complicated. I hope it all turns out well for you guys!

I have never been in this situation but I would also suggest looking into immigration visas as well to see if there is one that you are eligible in this situation.

I guess the adoption thing would depend on her birth countrys laws, you should be able to become her guardian easily enough.

I know under australian law you can not arrange a private adoption. I went through a heap of s*** to get my girl and in the end even though her birth parents and I consider it full adoption, legally I only have legal guardianship of my little princess.

As someone mentioned you can look into the visa requirements for if/when it happens.

I guess if you all discuss the options and if it is what the mother and child want to happen maybe it needs to be made official with a lawyer or something.

Good luck with it (But I hope it doesn't need to happen, that poor girl has been through enough losing one parent)


Sjl

Hi there. Well I found out we can't adopt her as there is no country agreement for Holland to Australia and we can't sponsor into Australia because a cousin isn't considered a close enough relative. We are waiting to see what happens at the moment with my aunties health. I suspect she is in denial at the moment and therefore probably hasn't thought about possibilities. But my dad will broach it again when it seems to be appropriate. He and my mum would sponsor her as an uncle is a close enough relative. They have just retired and live a bit far out though. So I guess we will see. But I agree - lets hope all will be well.

Hi,
Damn.

If your parents sponser her to come out can she still live with you? even if on paper work she lives with them???
Just a thought to consider and discuss.

Hope you aunt is getting on ok (at least as well as she can)

Sjl