New Member looking for support from other precious women.

Hello,

I am new to this forum, I hope it is ok is I join. My DH and I have been ttc for 12 months and we have had 3 mc in that time. First was a biochemical pregnancy in Feb 08, second was a blighted ovum in May 08, and third was a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks (we saw the littlin`s beating heart at eight weeks and thought that this one was going to be ok, but then we had no heatbeat at 11 weeks).

We all tested chromosomally normal, including the littlin, and I showed no abnormality with antibodies or clotting agents. We have been told by specialist to remain positive and continue to persevere, which DH and I are planning to do. I am just struggling with the belief factor at the moment (believing that this actually will happen for us) and I know that belief is so important. I think I have just lost it for a while, hoping to get it back soon.

I wish everyone in here the very best of luck, positive energy and sticky pregnancies.

I hope to be able to chat to other members soon.

Hi Snow Diamond,

Welcome to BB, I am fairly new to the forum too! I think we all struggle with keeping faith that we will actually have a healthy pregnancy and a snugly baby in our arms. I am a mother of a four and a half year old boy already so I know the joy and heartbreak of being a mother. I didn't think it would be hard to give him a sibling though.

We have been trying for a little while now and because of my history, age (38 - blush!) and now we have found that my DH and I both have some fertility issues (a bit of a shock as DH is only 34) we are going to try IUI next cycle. We have just done one cycle of Clomid and my OB/GYN wants us to move to the next stage due to sperm issues.

I am a bit terrifyed. Thats ok too as I know it will be worth it. I know I am meant to be a mother and that my family is meant to be bigger than my DH and DS. I guess its haveing faith, mixed with hope. But gee it gets hard to find sometimes, like a little flame that needs coaxing and feeding to ignite and blaze again. I am lucky in that my DH and sister are great supports. I always imagined myself as a mother. After career, early to mid thirtys - dreams are great but as we well know it doesnt all go to plan. Thats when it gets hard. Have you got good supprot, I mean someone who really belives this will work out for you?

Do you have a special image in your head to go back to that helps when the hope dims? I went through an awful time with my DS needing lots of heart surgery and I always kept an image of him on his first day of school just looking up at me. It really helped me have a future image to go back to to remind myself that it could happen, my sister even bought me a school tie that he will have to wear on his fist day to hold when he was in surgery to make the image clearer. It really helps me.

Are you on any meds to reduce your m/c risk? I am on 100mg of asprin and 5mg of folate (ten times normal dose) as well as 100mg of B6. As soon as we start the IUI I think I will be on heaps of other things (incl injections OUCH).

Wishing you joy... :pray:

Hello Rachel,

Thank you for your reply. You sound really positive and that is so nice to hear. I have a beautiful supportive partner who believes with 100% of his heart and soul that we will soon hold our perfectly healthy baby in our arms. Each day I am thankful for his unlimited love and supported and I know I am so lucky to have that in my life. I also have a wonderfully supportive family, who I know would do anything for me.

I am actually a nurse who used to work in one of the top IVF clinics in Sydney, I have seen first hand how difficult this journey can be, perhaps that is why i am having problems with the "faith" side of things. or perhaps its just a protection mechanism. During the experience on our last loss, I thought to myself I don`t know if I can do this again. I just felt as though I couldn`t handle another loss, to go through the whole experience again. But with a little time (one month), I am now beginning to look to the future, feeling that the strength to try again has returned. I read an interesting statement on the internet about learning to celebrate the journey, struggles, hopes, losses and potential. So that`s what I will try and focus on, the journey...and start hoping for a happy ending.

Thank you for the advice on visualisation, I am going to try and work on that.

Thank you again for your reply.

I wish you every happiness and luck on your own journey.

:goodluck:

Hi Snow Diamond

I am so sorry for you losses - especially the third - my m/c was at 9 weeks and it does get your hopes up when you get to that point or beyond. You point on belief is the key because at the end of the day you create the best situations for conception that you can and then engage passionately in the laying down of hope each month and it is hard to sometimes accept that that is often the best we can do to achieve the dream we hold. There is as you have explained the medical path on fertility but again that is another way of trying to set up the best situation again. There are some beautiful visualisations in 'The Natural Way to Better Babies' if you are interested or already have a copy or can borrow one (Francesca Naish and Janette Roberts) for preparing as a preconception path.

May the sticky vibes be knocking down your door soon
Karen van

Hey guys,

I'm sorry for all your losses.

DH and I have been TTC for 6 years now. I have had various investigations which showed endo and blocked/damaged tubes.

We were about to start IUI in October but actually found out that we had managed to fall pregnant naturally, unfortunately that was very short lived and I miscarried at just under 6 weeks. Devastating since it had been so long and we hadn't ever even been that close before.

Also very frustrated that we have to wait for the IUI now, and are commencing this at the start of February.

I'm thinking that I might buy that book Karen, I've heard a lot of good things about it. I have her other book "Natural Fertility" and it is my bible. I love it.
My naturopath trained with the author of that book so I feel in very good hands in that respect as she still keeps in touch with her for advice etc.

Snow Diamond, I'm sorry for your losses and i hope that you get the answers you are looking for, and a BFP this year!!

Hope that it happens for us all this year!! I'm feeling positive.

Sue x

Hi snow diamond,
So sorry for your losses.
I lost at 7 weeks with a blighted ovum and again at 19 weeks( waters broke too early). I understand the grief of miscarriage but I cant imagine adding fertility issues to the mix.Stay strong sweetie and I hope you are blessed again very soon with another miracle.
You will find lots of support here.

Karen, Sue and Caz.

Thank you so much for your support. I feel very lucky to have found this forum and feel far more supported knowing there are other women out there who really do understand the rollercoaster of ttc after a miscarriage.

I wish you all and every other lovely lady in here the very best for 2009.

May our beautiful baby dreams become a reality in this year.

Thanks again girls.:D

Snow Diamond, :hug:

I feel the same. I honestly don't know how I could have gotten through the past few months without this forum. Just reading and knowing that there are so many other people out there in the same spot as me means a lot. I've got more information from here than I have from anywhere else.

Thanks for YOUR kind words and support also.

2009 isn't the year of the Ox, it is the year of the BABY!!!!!
:grouphug:

All the best,
S X