I wish I knew the right answer

I am sitting here listening to Mackenzie crying - not loudly, more protesting because I know how darn tired she is. The past few weeks have prob been the hardest ever - sleep wise I feel like I have a new-born again. I want to wean her but it really isn't working. I feel so frustrated, tired and hopeless because I know she is a happier baby with more sleep.:cry:

We have had some success: she is now eating far more than she was and I can go some days where she has up to 8 hours between feeds so I guess I have to be thankful for that. I also know that due to us moving and now staying with various people it must be quite unsettling for her and I do feel bad about that.

This is my plan - feel free to comment but keep in mind that I have read or listened to sooooo many diff people that I don't know whether I am right or not but I need to stick with something or I will go mad - I have changed my mind so many times and it's wearing thin.

FOOD: keep offering 3 meals and 2 snacks a day - preferably before a b/feed.

WEANING: offer soy milk (Mackenzie has allergies) whenever we can and hope she will learn to like it. Never offer, never refuse and try and distract when she wants a feed too soon after last one.

SLEEP: bedtime is 7pm - non-negotiable because I have read that is the magic hour. I am not going to feed her tonight - I will try and settle her but I wll not feed her. IT has to stop. I don't like controlled crying but I am have tried everything else: patting, cuddling, feeding and she still will not sleep through, not even for more than 5 hours now. We have got her into such bad habits of feeding her whenever and now it's just riduculous.

Please offer any good ideas you have that I haven't tried. I'm not expecting miracles: I know she won't wean overnight and I would like her sleep sorted our first. She has 2 sleeps a day - usually only for 45mins each but sometimes up to 1 1/2 if we're REALLY lucky. I try not to let the sleeps go too late.

Thank you for listening

You poor thing. Both my boys self-weaned so I haven't been through this and can't give you much advice. But I can offer some hugs. :hug:

The plan sounds pretty good to me, although I'm not so sure about the set bed time. I've always found that the boys go down much more easily if we get the timing right in terms of their level of tiredness, rather than the time by the clock. Some days will be earlier, some later, depending on what has happened during the day.

The only other advice I can think of, is that if she doesn't like the soy milk, maybe you could try something else for her to drink. If other types of milk aren't suitable, maybe just water, and she could get her calcium from other sources.

I do wish you all the very best. This is a very difficult time for you, and I hope it eases soon. :hug:

Manta ray - thanks for your support. I have always followed her cues but lately she has been going to bed later and later and still not sleeping much past 7 with 2-3 wake ups during night so I figure if she goes to bed at 7 then at least she has more chance of getting more sleep. I am def not a stickler for times but I think tomorrow and next night I am going to try.

GL hun.

:hug:

I think it was around that age that DS went down to one nap a day - around 10.30/11. Then I think he went to bed at around 7.30ish (which has changed again, and is going to change again soon - can feel the change a comin!)

I can't help with the BFing though since I don't do it, but just wanted to give you a :hug:! DS has only just started solidily sleeping through the night on a regular basis. And he's nearly 2!!!!

Yes maybe one sleep a day could be worth a try. Maybe from 11am? Then bed at 6.30pm. I did that with both of mine, and it worked well. I also persevered with the sleeping because they had to know the bed was for sleep. I would go and pat, but never got them up once they were in bed.
good luck xoxo
PS DD2 had allergies too and we used Goat's milk, you can get that at woollies/coles. It seemed to go down easier than soy.

DS had one sleep a day at that age, he started going down at about 11 and it moved later til about 12.30 now, he still sleeps for 3 hours of an afternoon.
He weaned himself so I have no idea what to advise you there, so did DD2 and with DD1 it was so long ago I can't remember how I did it, I know she was 7 months old cause I went back to work full time.
When DS was 12 months he was waking every 2 hours for a BF through the night and I ended up going to Tresillian cause I was at the end of my tether trying to work 3 days a week and deal with that and 3 kids. Its not for everyone but it was a last resort for me and it worked.

it is so tricky knowing what to do isnt it?

what we did to gradually cut out the night feeding was to break the association of bed with b/f. so i would give her her last feed around 1/2 hour before bed. she would already be dressed for bed (and we would have gone through our bedtime ritual of massage and lullaby). after her feed she would do some quiet play or some cuddles then i would tell her it was night night and we go and find DH for a goodnight kiss. put her in her sleepbag and into the cot. we too have a fairly predictable bedtime between 7pm and 7.30pm. although if it has been a crazy long day then we go a bit earlier or if she accidently slept late a bit later.

it worked pretty well for us, but when there is some unsettled periods she still will cry out for a b/f. we are not fully weaned so i put it down to that.

could you possibly try the new system once you are all settled? or is that too far away?

good luck sweetie :goodluck:

Just a quick reply - the last 2 nights have been far more successful!! The first night she woke up to 5 times but each time I went in, cuddled or patted her, pulled hte covers up and said "it's bed time" and left - she cried the first time for ages - it was awful but she really was only protesting. Last night she woke twice but within 2 mins of me going in she settled. She is soooooo happy and full of energy this morning - I can't believe how being consistent and strong can help with their sleep.

I know some people say that they learn to give up but I really feel that me always going in was encouragin her habit of waking. I only had to let her cry/protest for 40 mins on first night and that was it.

Glad the sleep is getting better.

WRT weaning - I have had more success with giving DS small amounts of milk throughout the day (eg. 50ml), rather than getting him to drink a big cupful in one go (although he would happily drink a big cup of breastmilk). Also, he is more likely to drink the milk if he has just woken up & is hungry/thirsty. He also has yoghurt, cheese or other high-calcium foods (eg. broccoli, chick peas, baked beans, parsley)