aww...I feel bad...

I just got a call from a student midwife at the hospital who was at one of my appointments when I saw my midwife (I'm in the midwifery program and have the same midwife for appointments and the birth). Anyway, she said she needed to do follow-ups and attend births to complete her course, she would be at all appointments and the birth and visit me with my midwife at home after.

And I said no! I felt so bad. She just sprung it on me and I hadn't thought about it. I was going to say yes because she was nice and everything but then I thought I just have to be selfish about it. I already feel like I just want to be on my own and having another person in the room I think would just make me more anxious and then slow down my labour.

Aww....now I feel guilty, poor girl, I hope she finds other people to help her.

SJ - well done on standing firm! That takes courage!

I think at the end of the day it's your birth and your wellbeing that matters - not a student who needs to get her numbers up. You did what was right for you and you stuck to your guns - be proud of yourself and certainly don't feel bad about your decision! :clap:

Don't feel bad, its absolutely your choice. I said yes with conditions that it was only observing, no practicing VEs on me, because, well, she needs to learn and I was planning on a natural birth so I wanted her to have that experience! In the end she wasn't there, not sure why, probably a good thing as it didn't go toplan anyway. There will be other people who will be comfy with the idea of having a student there, so don't feel bad. Its your birth, your experience, your choice.

good on you for standing up for yourself

She does not need to come to the birth to get her numbers up
she does not have to come to all your appointments to get her numbers up
the program requires her to spend 10 hours with you- whether that be through email contact, phone contact or post natal contact. The time does not specify that she has to be at the birth.

I have a student midwife following through me as well, and at this stage i have not committed to her being at the birth with me. It is entirely up to me and my DH! All our contact has been through a quick email that i send off to her after an appointment, and a face to face with her and her supervisor to sign into the program.
So you can still help her get her numbers up- without her coming to the birth or your appointments

HTH
odette

Thanks guys :)
I'm sure it wouldn't have been bad and other ppl would have been comfortable with it but probably my last appointment put me off a bit aswell. There were 2 students there and I was asked if they could come in right in front of them and didn't feel like I could say no, but I would have said yes anyway as it was just an appointment. But then when feeling the baby's position I had the midwife poke around and then the 2 students to see if they could feel the same thing while I was lying on my back, not comfy! Then I had my BP taken twice so they could practice, rofl, and one of them didn't really know how to do it I think b/c it hurt and she didn't do it the same as the other one, lol. So I could just imagine in labour 'now come and have a look, this is the cervix at 2cm dilated' :rofl: That probably wouldn't happen!!

But seriously, I'm a pretty private person and having an extra person in the room even just observing would put me off. Why is it so hard to say no though?? I felt so awkward!!

I'm a private person too Sara :hug: you did the right thing for YOU. ;)
She'll get over it.... life is full of rejection! Good on you for being honest to yourself.

Don't feel bad! I had said no to student middies when in labour with DS but then they asked me again (while i was in labour mind you!) if it was ok for her to watch etc and i said whatever cause i was not in the head space to think about anything. Anyway, everytime she came near me my labour would stop. And everytime she entered the room it would slow down.

Sara dont feel bad hun.
As an RN i understand the importance of training and experience when you are studying .

HOwever it is more important that the mum feels comfortable - you are well within your right.

With #1 - i had 3 orderlys, 2 midwives, 1 ambo, 2 student midwives and DH in the room with me (was not asked they were just there.. as i was pushing as they wheeled me into the hospital) and you are right it is a lot of people staring at your bits lol.. (not that i cared)

With #2 - i decided just DH, DD and me this time, and the mw tried to make me feel bad saying that it is a teritary hospital and training occurs etc, and i explained what happened last time, so i agreed to one student to be there (they are great to run around and get things for you so DH doesnt have to leave your side lol)..

NOt that is happened that way (homebirth afterall) but i completely understand :)

Thankyou everyone, I feel less guilty now! I'm sure someone else will help her out.