Please answer my delivery qus!! Abt to be first time mum.

Hi all......
I have been watching a lot of births on youtube - possibly to my own detriment.
Anyways, I have noticed that the homebirths or some of the births at midwife run centres seem to be gentle with regard to delivery... not that they look less painfull, but the baby's head is allowed to come out of its own accord and the baby is gently scooped up etc.
I have been extremely disturbed however, by a lot of the hospital births where medical people are putting their hands in the vagina in some vain attempt to stretch the skin or holding on to the baby's head and pushing it down or pulling on it with what appears to be excessive force...... I could understand if the baby wasn't coming out after an excessive amount of time and the baby was distressed but I am watching real time movies and I can't help but be petrified and angry and think to myself.. leave the poor woman alone... a few more minutes and she could have done that if you had allowed her.
So my question is regarding everyone's personal experience of delivery in a hospital setting.... what exactly happened to you ? I will be giving birth in a private hospital that is WHO approved (1 of only 2 in Qld) so I am hoping for a gentle natural approach but I would really like to guage the general practices in place in Australian hospitals regarding the actual delivery (many of the vids I have watched are Euro or American so I don't know if I have been put off unneccessarily). Thanks so much and I would really appreciate any feedback regarding actual delivery practices.

i had a complete gentle approach from my mid wife with all 3 births.

the only time they touch me down there really was to hold a warm towel against my perineium (sp) to help prevent tearing.

other then that i was touching bubs head as she was coming out and allowed to (wanted to but forget to at the time) deliver her into my arms .. like catch her myself..

Good Question! Hmmm, I don't think that there was any excessive force put on my babies that wasn't needed - my last two babies needed help to get out due to mild shoulder dystocia, so my Dr and midwife did need to do a little bit of pushing etc to get them in the right position. For my first two births, it was just a gentle hand on their head so it didn't flop back when it was fully born and just pressure on my perenium to help stop tears.

All 5 of my kids have been born in a hospital midwife led delivery center, all the midwifes either sat in front or stood behind me, their hands were only there to guide the babys head out, no interference, no pulling it out, only unravelling the cord from around their necks.

Some times we torture ourselves for no reason.

Hi,
First- STOP YOUTUBING!!! You will only scare the **** out of yourself ;)

I birthed public, with a mw and an ob present (the ob due to complications in early labour). There was no excessive force used. I remember the mw grabbing my hand to touch the babies head (I still tear up thinking about it... *sniff*... 'scuse me). And that was in an emergency situation (the ob had already called the theatre to expect me in the next five minutes for an emergency c-sect), where they were trying to get the baby out as quick as possible.

i delivered in a private hospital.

i had forceps adn an episiotomy, though i didnt have a normal labour. i was enduced 3 days early after going in and out of labour for 2 weeks.

so after 12 hours of induction and contractions 3 min apart and my cervix not moving i got an epidural and dilated in 10 mins to 10 cm.

but taylah was in distress and basically if she didnt come out after 2 pushes it was a c section for me,

my OB/GYn delivered my baby as my midwife who was fantastic and gentle and so caring and encouraging said if we dont get ehr out thsi could turn bad and run my OB to come and get her out eitherway he could.

Thankyou so much for your quick responses and sharing your personal experiences....
LOL Lori..... I am going to take ur advice and finally listen to my hubbie and stop youtubing!!!!!! Thanks again y'all :)

Anhyvar, is it John Flynn or Selangor you're going to? ;)
Either way, I'm sure your delivery will be great. Both hospitals are very into low intervention and JF takes pride in waterbirths where you virtually do deliver bub gently by yourself as it's hard for the midwives/OB to get in there when you're in the water anyway.

Funy thing is whenever i'm scared or worried about giving birth, i watch youtube birth videos and they make me feel better!!

i watched alot of youtube vids lst pregnancy and the hospital ones are all very negative.. and i recall watching one where one birth was in a hospital and it did a fast forward and there was that many people constantly in/out of the room to her next being in a birth centre and there was maybe 2-3 coming into the room to check on her etc and it looked like a hotel room compared to clinical and blue..

my 2 births have been in public hospitals. One in newcastle (JHH) and one in Melbourne (frankston)
both births i only ever saw midwives.. the JHH sucked as i was monitored as they did not believe i was in labour (i'm not some1 who screams in pain) but come delivery i had 2 midwives letting me go and do what i wanted (squatting etc). All was super quiet and gentle. i learnt while delivering (as i was told) that you only push during a contraction (if u have urges or if u can) i was pushing all the time (eager for it to be over) 10mins and it was all over and good. All positive.

frankston sucked as i went thru this odd interview process almost.. im on the phone in labour to the midwife on the phone and shes asking for my details so i gave it to hubby to do which the midwife wasnt satasfied with but stuff em! yeah got to the hospital whisked off to a room with a midwife and was asked questions on my labour.. thankfully she would wait during a contraction gave me a internal (blessing in disguise) to find out i was 8cm dilated and obviously in labour wanting a room not being asked questions BP checked and all that.. delivery was very quiet i could hear one midwife writing out details of forms and stuff getting ready for bubs arrival. used a birth bean bag. had 2 midwifes and 1 trainee in there come head poking out stage.. all very quickly over to the point it felt like the baby was being pulled out but hubby said she just seemed to shoot out! lol! was allowed to deliver placenta naturally. All positive, no interventions, no stitches, no drugs, no obs or docs for both births..

With my current bub i might try the screaming in pain act just so the midwives believe me!!

I birth at Newcastle Private and it was great... the ob and midwife were only there to catch the bub and (oh embrassment) wipe the poo!!!!
If you are worried, have someone there who can make your wishes clear to the staff.... my hubby and doula spoke when I couldn't (though I did mostly) to make sure I got what I wanted from my first birth.
Good luck with it all

I'd love to know if the centre I gave birth in is W.H.O approved, I have no idea to be honest. My daughters' birth was very rushed (they had me 'pushing uphill' because she got stuck when I was squatting and pushing) because I laboured for too long (more than 24 hours after my waters broke) and my daughter was distressed (she passed meconium as she was being born).

Public hospital, midwife led birth for me last time, and it was great. I think I worried during the pushing stage as they were telling me to push when I didn't feel the urge to. Apart from that, it was all very natural - no tugging and certainly no hands up there while baby was trying to get out :o

I know some women find it very helpful to 'educate' or 'prepare' themselves for birth by watching gory videos of the process, but I personally chose to remain as ignorant as possible and approach my impending labour with the knowledge that yes, it was going to hurt like nothing I'd ever experienced before but apart from that, I was just going to have to go through it myself and find out what happens the hard way!
That's not to say I didn't educate myself on all the possible outcomes, scenarios and techniques that I could apply - I considered myself very well-informed long before I entered the delivery suite. But I knew that as long as I had that knowledge, I didn't need to see various women huffing a puffing and spurting out fluid everywhere in order to prepare myself, I wasn't afraid or apprehensive about the birth at all, just calm in the knowledge that what would happen would happen, it would be a natural process that millions of women have gone through since time immemorial, and I would only know how it felt once I'd done it.

I was induced two days before my due date, but apart from having my waters broken for me and the standard poke every so often to find out how far I was dilated, I had no interference from the medical staff at all. One midwife threatened me with an episiotomy and forceps if I didn't 'hurry up', but I kicked her ('accidentally', of course) and she soon left me alone and let my body do my thing.
My advice is just to be as vocal as possible during your labour - if you don't want interference, let the midwives know that you feel okay with how things are progressing and know that you're doing fine. If they try anything you're not comfortable with or prepared for, demand an explanation and if it doesn't sound satisfactory or valid, tell them to back off.
I am very glad that I gave birth to DD in hospital as I suffered a severe and very nearly-fatal postpartum haemorrhage within minutes of delivering the placenta, so if this is your first birth I would recommend having all your bases covered by being in a hospital setting rather than go it at home, but I know my experience was individual and relatively rare so the choice is ultimately yours - do your homework, ask around and make the choice you think is best for you. The midwives I had, apart from that one mean one, were absolutely lovely and were more than happy to be there simply to assist rather than force me into anything I didn't want, chances are if you're attending a highly-regarded hospital, you will be fine.
A lot of hospitals these days offer many options for birthing - water births are just one that seems to be very popular due to the gentle, free nature of it and if my hospital had offered this option, and I had gone into labour naturally, I would have chosen it.

If you have definite ideas for how you want your birth to go, definitely write up a birth plan and discuss it with your care team as soon as you can in order to determine what will be possible, and to ensure that the staff you will be dealing with are aware of your wishes so that if you find you can't get the words out during the labour, they have it in writing. Also discuss your wishes with your support person so that they can speak for you if you are unable to.

I wish you the best!

To me, the gory end of childbirth is for the midwives. I don't want to see the mess that comes out - just get rid of it. I'll take the baby and that's it, thanks. Poo and blood and the rest is all yours.

Hmmm, may need to have a midwife come visit after my freebirth LMAO.

I did have DS in a hospital and never again. Those Utube videos aren't lying about the amount of people bossing you about in there. And vocal doesn't help, at least not if you're being vocal about something they don't want and they've strapped you down so you can't kick (with your husband's approval, of course). But then I did have a very hands-on, too literally, team supporting the hospital policy. Sorry, I mean me. That did happen.

I'd say go it at home but have a hospital ready for a back-up JIC it's needed for whatever reasons - homebirths are great, but an EMERGENCY section can't be done at home, only at home it is for an emergency other than "the Obs wants to leave by 5 tonight".

When I was pregnant with DS I went in blind. I didnt attend antenatal classes, I had no idea what was 'normal' and decided to trust myself and go with what felt comfortable to me. With this 'Youtubeing' I assume your not only looking at Australian videos but experiences of women all over the globe good and bad. I know of quite a few BBers that have their births on Youtube but have had them pulled for music choice and from what Im aware these women had great birth experiences. Trust yourself not peoples videos cz I guarantee you no two births are the same so the videos will do you no good.

I had a homebirth and the only hand on DD's head was mine (felt incredible!).

It might not be something every woman would want to attempt for a first or even for subsequent pregnancies, but it is a falsehood that homebirth is dangerous, even for first time mums.

Bx

ETA - go look on Youtube at "Birth 8" and visualise yourself getting one just like that! :)

I've had two good hospital births - the midwives were gentle with me, and there was no pushing, pulling, tugging, stretching, etc. :) Don't scare yourself. :hug:

However, you are always bound by hospital policies in hospital - there may be time limits on labour, time limits on pushing, you may not be allowed in water after your water breaks, you may have to wear constant monitoring that limits your movement, you may have to stay in bed, etc. Some hospitals are like this - others are great! Check out what the one near you is like. Then you'll have a bit of an idea beforehand what sort of attitude they have towards birth - controlling, or go with the flow.

If you can not find a hospital near you that will allow you the freedom you want during labour and birth, look for a birth centre or consider a home birth. My third baby was born at home in the water, and that was a great birth experience! Hoping to do it again. :)

All the best for a lovely birth!