Anybody given birth without partner there?

Hi Everybody!

My fiance as you may know is back in the UK right now finalising a divorce and he has had a few hiccups. As a result, he may in fact miss the birth of our daughter, due 7th February.

This breaks my heart and it definitely breaks his as well. So how do we cope?

This has been an incredibly stressful time for both of us. And this is my very first baby and his very first daughter, so I cry at the drop of a hat just thinking that he may not be back in time for little Chloe Charlotte's birth!!

Has anybody here ever had to go through having a baby without your partner there?

My ex husband, who is a good friend of ours is considering videoing the birth and live Skyping it to my fiance and his brother's family, so they can be a part of it. But maybe the hospital won't allow that? Not sure yet! Will discuss with the OB!

But yes...who has been through this before and how did you cope?

My fiance may not be getting back until about three weeks after baby's birth. Will that be a problem for bonding??

Thanks guys!

Get a Doula!! I nearly banned Dp from the birth room (cos he annoys me) and my doula was my own personal cheer squad.

I hope he gets back in time but I don't think the hossy can ban you videoing the experience....

Oh how stressful for you! It will suck if he has to miss it. A doula is a great idea.

I think that most hospitals only restrict video for c-sections - i.e. where there is surgery and if something goes wrong the patient could use the video as evidence in a civil law suit. Check with your ob and/or hospital what their policy is but you should be ok as long as your not planning a c-sect.

I don't think a three week lapse between the birth and meeting your DF will necessarily affect bonding. Some people take longer to bond who are there right from the start and others don't. Everyone is different - as long as your DF gets as involved as possible in the babies care as soon as he is back everything should be fine! Especially if he has 'witnessed' the birth via video.

DH didn't bond with DS for well over a year and he was, unfortunately, at the birth. He won't be with any other babies though. I wouldn't say "go through" having a baby sans partner - I'd say it was more an endurance having a baby with him there!

we're facing this possibility with DH not being at the birth - he works up to 30 hours drive away from home, so if i go into labour early, i will be labouring without him there. it scares me, but i figure ultimately he is going to be there for our babies life and that's more important to me. he will be working away when bub's arrives, so will have to work on bonding with baby while he can - it's going to be hard, but we'll work it out

i think you'll be fine - find a doula if you can - someone you can have something of a connection with before you go into the hospital to give birth so that you're comfy. your partner will be there with you in spirit, and will be with you as soon as he can

take it easy hun - and try not to let it stress you out too much...

BG

hi im only just expecting but my DF is in the army and is going away for 6 months training and then possibly to the middle east in august so if this happens he will DEF not be there for the birth, it hurts me but he is doing it FOR us and we would never have it any other way as it took us so long to get to this point, i really wish u luck and hope things work out!

ME 21 DF 21

BFP 2/1/09 our natural miracle!!!

first of all congratulations.

i'm sorry you DH might miss the birth. but most of all im sorry he might miss being there for the first breath.

I do think you will need a support person tho. a friend, family member or Dula whoever you are comfortable with.

as far as bonding goes it can take a mother a while to bond and even longer for a father. as the mother i didn't even get to touch my twins for hours or hold them for days after their premi birth,. it has not affected our bonding at all. i truly believe sometimes there is too much of an enfisis on how your surposed to bond etc and if things don't go to plan than people get worried, depressed etc.
you and your DF will be together with your DD as soon as you can and together you will love and cherish her.

Try not to worry too much, and i really hope yous DF isn't away from you too long.

My hospital doesn't allow photos or anything when the baby is coming out or after so check.
I didn't have anyone but my mum there for Ashton, so you will be fine :)

I am not sure if my DF will be my birth partner anymore.
I have enrolled into Hypno Birth classes and he most likely wont be able to make any of them :( Os he might not understand the full benefit of the hypnotherapy if he's not there.