Midwife coming to visit!

After a long wait after filling out application papers to get myself a midwife for a home birth, she is coming to visit to fill out a(nother) questionnaire next week!

So far pregnancy feels like endless paperwork!

She will have her 2 children with her which I am not 100% comfortable with (but that's just me...I'm not good with kids! That's just the way I am and it's no ones fault) but we have a park with a little playground just down the road so maybe we can go and do all the paperwork and questions while sitting on the grass under a tree. :)

woohoo!

ur gonna have to get used to kids! lol

Yeah I know LOL. I just get really shy around kids and don't know what to do with them. Plus our house is not exactly appealing to a child. We are nerds so it is full of books!

Funnily enough, I work at a school.

Angela - thats so exciting! I wish so much I could have a home water birth but I live in the bush, am 36yo, and am just a little too far from the hospital if something should go wrong!

My house isn't very child friendly either - and for the same reason. Too many books! I dont know what we're gonna do about it once bub arives!

woot woot, congrats on planning a homebirth, its the best!

You can't have too many books for kids! Keep those books in your house, ladies!!!

I read somewhere once that the easiest predictor of academic success or failure for a person (with all of the associated socio-economic implications) was simply to count how many books where in their parents house. The more books, the more successful the person was.

(OK, academic success doesn't necessarily make happiness, but it does make for a lot of pretty useful things, in my opinion).

Our place is full of books. We'll have to put doors on some of the bookcases, the lower shelves anyway, by the time our baby is able to crawl over and pull the books out. But we won't be getting rid of any of them, just adding more books suited to small people than we currently have...

My house has maybe 4 books, a set of old Encyclopedias and the rest of the space is taken up with music equipment (amps, guitars, keyboards, organ).... If a childs academic strength is determined by the amount of books a parent has, our child is doomed to be a muso like her parents. There go our dreams of her being a rocket scientist and supporting us in old age. Sigh.

:D

Angela: I'm sure the midwife would jump at the chance to get to the park. I hope it's all relatively stress free for you!!

Lol thanks ladies.

Yeah we have 2 acoustic guitars, 1 electric, 1 bass, 2 saxaphones, a keyboard and at least 16 bookcases stuffed full of books. Plus it is a tiny rental property LOL.

I don't know if books are a show of academia but I quit highschool to go to uni (this year will be my 7th year at university and 4th campus) and my hubby is desperatley trying to finish off a PhD....so many books must be a sign of poor, nerdy students with a huge HECS debt (well I have a big HECS debt! Hubby doesn't).

The house just isn't kid friendly in the sense that there is nothing for them to do. All my art supplies are pro quality and not really suitable for scribbling on paper to amuse children, I have 4 computers, my vintage camera collection, most of the books are non fiction, the poor cat has AIDS and hates strangers....so I guess my house will have to change to accomodate other people's children!

I think I feel fine about my own kid being bought up in this environment becuase it will get all types of nerdy influence from us but other people probably just think we're boring childess freaks!

Argh speaking of my camera collection, I have an application for an arts/photography grant to do....groan...I hate filling out paperwork! Wish me luck!

Angela, my DS has his shelves of books and doesn't go anywhere near ours. Well, not quite. He liked Fighting Fantasy books when he was a lot younger. He went for those and no others. But now only his own books.

TBH, if the midwife is bringing her kids along to a first pregnancy then she should be bringing things for them to do. You shouldn't have to entertain children imposed upon you when you're meeting a midwife (if I asked a midwife friend I'd be fine with her children coming along too because I know the family and her youngest is DS's age and I know I have toys for the eldest, but not a stranger and her children). Also, would these children be around for the birth? I'm a bit freaked out at children coming, no reason why - and also not that it's a really big one-off that has never ever happened before.

Don't feel bad your house may not be suitable for your employee's children (and you're paying her, she's your employee). They shouldn't be coming IMHO. I think it's quite unprofessional to just inform you children are coming and not asking if it's OK and certainly a midwife who brings children along just puts me off. But that's just me.

I agree with RF - if she's bringing them for this visit then she should also be bringing toys/whatever if they need entertaining. And don't feel bad about feeling shy around other people's kids - I was too but it really is different when you have your own.

Just on the books issue. I grew up in a house with zero books except my own. I have two degrees.

We have hundreds of books between DP and our book cases start at floor level. Never been a problem. DD will take them out and flick through the pages since she's been able to crawl. Has not ripped or damaged (unless you count Vegemite fingers) one of them. Personally, I think it's great that she understands that books are to be respected (ie. not damaged) but are also fun and to be played with and enjoyed. She's also partial to a trashy mag and I can take her out to a cafe and she will flick through one magazine while I have a coffee and read another.

Yeah I was a bit uncomfortable about her kids coming too but she mentioned it would be school holidays and the kids have nowhere else to go.

Fionas - I hear you re the book thing. I am not worried about how my child will treat my books, it's other children coming into the house that I have never met before. I'm just overprotective about my stuff LOL. :-)

Hence I am hoping I can steer everyone to the park. It's a very small house and unless the kids sit here in the loungeroom and watch the TV, there is nowhere else that they can be/play/sit/etc etc.

Okay it's getting late at night and I am starting to totally freak myself out over this. Maybe becuase have been really bad with depression and anxiety lately. :-(

I am seriously tempted to contact the midwifery program and leave a message for the midwife (becuase she didnt give me any contact details) saying that I am willing to wait until after the school term has started. That will be another 4 to 5 weeks.

I am only a little concerned because I got a letter from the midwifery program at the start of December saying that my midwife would contact me within a week to arrange a time. She didn't so I emailed them yesterday and she called today.

What do you think??? Am I allowed to re-schedule? Or am I just making it inconvenient for her by wanting to re-schedule and should I just let her bring her kids regardless of what I want????

The only thing is that I am sure that she is a lovely person and everything but I only have one pair of eyes and with the midwifery program I get what I am given re midwives and I just want to try to avoid a hospital birth.

BUT I don't want a midwife who hates me becuase I re-scheduled on her becuase I'd rather her kids not come.

Don't let yourself get too stressed out by it all, hon. I'm sure if she's bringing the kids and is at all professional she'll have it all under control. Do you know the age of the kids? There's a good chance if they're in school they'll understand that they have to be quiet (and might just sit there playing their Nintendo DS or something). I'm sure if you called the midwifery program and asked for a contact you could call her just to talk to her and put your mind at ease.

Because it's school holidays? You're not giving birth in half term, are you?

Mmmh.

Yes when are you due?? What if that's in the holidays?
To reassure you they may be older and just bring a nintendo DS or an I-pod and amuse themselves.
It is a bit odd to bring them IMO since its your first baby and you need to discuss fairly personal things with the MW.
I hope it goes well.

Thanks ladies.

I amnot sure of their age or even how many there are. She just said 'kids" as a plural and that they would "just play in the garden". We are in a rental property and do not have a garden. Even if we did I would feel nervous about leaving kids unattended in it.

I figure they are young becuase they are too young to stay home by themselves.

Well??? How did it go??