Help breaking away from feeding to sleep!

DD naps have really gone down hill atm, and I think its the feeding to sleep association. A couple of times recently she has had a formula feed before a sleep and slept for 1 1/2 - 2hours. So i was thinking it was a supply thing and was thinking about weaning. (i know giving a ff isn't recommended but the prob is I cannot express so when I have to leave her, it has to be a ff) anyway, back on track, I gave her a bottle yesterday, but noticed that she pulled it out her mouth before she was asleep and then I rocked her to sleep. So i decided today that I would not feed her to sleep. So far, it seems to have worked - this am she had a quick feed, then I rocked her to sleep, and she slept for almost 2 hours! This arvo, she is still asleep so fingers crossed.

THe problem is that this arvo she worked herself up to a bit of a frenzy and I felt really bad. A couple of times I used my boob to calm her down again and then pulled her off and carried on rocking her. I hate to let her cry, eventhough I was holding her close and I still felt a bad mother. Will she get used to being rocked only to sleep without a feed?
Will the crying last long! I don't have an issue with feeding her to sleep but I know she needs longer naps and if getting her to sleep in other ways works, then I think I have to do it.

Sorry for the essay and I really hope this is not a garbled incoherent jumble of words! I think I really just need some words of support and encouragement.
TIA Sam

Hi SammyRo

Firstly, that's great that your DD came off the boob before falling asleep! And don't feel bad about her crying - you are NOT a bad mother. You were cuddling her while she cried so she knew you were there to help her through it. Us mothers have an in-built guilt activator don't we!!

I can't offer much advice as my DS wouldn't feed to sleep but thought I'd send some hugs and support your way. We always say it but remember that this too shall pass. Just think how much has changed in the last few weeks and months. And it will be different again in another few months.

If you do think she may be waking because of the sleep association and you want to try something different maybe try to get a hold of The No-Cry Sleep Solution book if you can. It's great if you want a gentle way to help bub fall asleep without the boob (or any other sleep association).

Good luck!

Thanks Babymama. I've already got myself a copy of that one - its great! And it's really helped us with night time sleeps. Didn't think about looking thru that for day sleeps tips, but I shall have another flick thru and see what other things I can do during the day. And i already feel a bit better, as I rocked and patted her to sleep tonight and she had a smile on her face as she fell asleep. I know we're probably swapping one sleep association for another, but it seems to have worked in getting her to sleep longer - both her naps today have been around the 1 1/2 - 2 hours! Much better than the single 1/2 hours I have been getting! Although, I've probably just jinxed myself.

My DD (13mo old) still feeds her to sleep. I just started using Pantley PPO yesterday so she can sleep without my boob. She started family day care one day a week, and am worried that she may have trouble having naps. At the moment, she has only stayed for max 2hrs. I am still going to feed her before her sleep but not until she falls asleep. It's working for her naps during the day, but last night was a bit of tough one!

I agree the no-cry book is great for strategies without much fuss/crying. It may take longer, but it is definitely gentler approach. And given the psychology of behavioural change, I think it seems true that you can't change a habit so quickly/drastically for a lasting result (think dieting!) without a great stress. A gradual change requires gradual adjustment to a bub, and not a dramatic/traumatic one like a crying-out approach.

Anyway, it sounds like your bub is already adjusting well to a new way of falling asleep. Patting is much easier and people other than mum can do it, which will be handy if she needs to be babysat by someone other than you. Baby's sleep pattern do change over time, so don't get discouraged. Good luck;)

:yeahthat:

MumtoLilyB has given you some great advice... I too have a DD who likes to be fed to sleep, but as I am returning to work soon, we need to change. I agree that the approach has to be a slow one... if you try to rush it, it will fail.

At the moment I am feeding DD till she is sleepy, and then putting her in her cot, and if she grizzles, I sing to her and sshh her without leaving the room. If she gets too upset though, I pick her up and try again (although I'm not sure if I should be doing this either.. but thats another thread)

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I know what you are going through, and you are definitely not a bad mum!

Well, we had a bit of a set back - her two top teeth came through, and her day sleeps are even worse when she's teething. But fingers crosses, we seem to be back on track today.
MumtoLily, how are you going with the Pantley pull off? I've been trying that this week, because with her teething, I was feeding her to sleep for comfort, so I thought I'd give it a go now her teeth are through, but she won't have a bar of it - she gets really cross every time I try to pull her off and either puts herslef back on or I have to - i think it was about 10 times last night and she was still rooting and grissling, so i just let her fall asleep on the boob. I tried again today, to no avail. In the end I took her out of the room, calmed her down, went back in, read a few stories, then sat on the fit ball with her, gave her a ragdoll and dummy to play with (she doesn't use it, just plays with them now!), I sat and rocked and patted and slowly, very easily, she went to sleep. So i think this might be the key for me - pretend to not be putting her to sleep, and she doesn't fight it! Fingers crossed!

hi there. I have a 7month old DD and she has to be rocked or bfed to sleep. She also still wakes for feeds through the night!! Once usually but that's another thread lol.
I haven't heard fo the no-cry sleep solution - how do I get hold of that??

Good luck Sammy!! I will be keeping an eye on this thread for ideas!

Livyloo, I found the book in Dymocks, its by Elizabeth Pantley.

Livyloo - I got mine at the local library - do you have a local library you could check out?