feeling out of control

Hi Girls
Ive only just joined although been lurking for abit.
I had a mc on christmas day at 7w, it was my first pregnancy.
Im so sad and angry, DH has been so amazing I think I would be in a loony bin without him but other family members seem to think its all over with now as im physically OK again.
Even though I was only 7w and didnt really have may symptoms I did feel pregnant and I miss that so much. We only found out at 6w but in that 7 day period that I knew we go so excited and made so many plans and now they are all gone.
While we are not trying like before with the charting etc we are just not being careful.
I didnt need a D&C and have read so much conflicting info about starting straight away with no AF. The best I can gather is that Drs like to say wait 1,2,3 months etc as they like to put figures on things. As long as the mc wasnt due to some sort of deficiancy dietry or otherwise that hasnt been corrected then there is no prob starting straight away. As my body did its thing and I had no intervention I have no idea why it happened no one will look at me unless it happens another 2 times so why should I wait?? Is this a normal thing to feel, as for someone who doesnt get hormonal mood swings i think I have had my lifetimes worth in the last few weeks, sorry if im rambling

I am so sorry for you loss. Its an awful, heart wrenching thing to loose a little one.

I have also had complete miscarriages (not requiring D&C) and I did wait a month with one and not at all with the other two. I think you will find many women wait for a couple of months and some go strait back to trying.

I am pregnant agian now - 4.5 weeks and am just thinking positive. I am sure this one is a solid pregnancy :D

I would be surprised if you weren't having emotions all over the place - that's really normal and will settle down later.

Wishing you a BFP really soon. :pray:

Rachel

Hi Pandagirl,

So sorry to hear of your loss. I can just imagine the kind the things that are running through your head each day since this occurred. I'm happy to hear the your DH is being so supportive. Perhaps the rest of the family is trying in their own way to support you too but sometimes people just don't know how to say the things we need to hear at such an upsetting time.

Just over a month ago my DP and I had the same good news that we were also expecting our first. We found out earlier (about 4 weeks) and were so excited we told both our families. A week later the same thing as you - I also did not require a D&C. Our families were and still are wonderful. Even though I was pregnant for such a short time the loss that I felt was giant. It actually surprised me. I went back to see my doctor and he said that we could start trying ASAP so long as I was mentally ready. He said that a lot of women don't really give themselves time to heal spiritually. I felt ready to try again the following cycle. So fingers crossed that we are blessed with the good fortune to fall again and that this next one sticks.

I wish you peace on your journey and good luck with your future TTC.

So so sorry for your loss! I wish you so much luck trying again! I hope that i can help you through this. I just recently went through it to, finding out on the 5th of January. Its so true that you plan so much and get so excited in those few weeks. Then when you find out it's gone...its just so hard to get your head around it. I was told and just plain didnt believe it. You can look through my first blog if you'd like. I ended up getting a second opinion with another blood test and yeah the little thing is gone. i read some poems that other ladies put up on the site. Just type in "Poems" in the search section. It really helped me reading them and have started writting my own. It helps get those unknown feelings out. if that makes any sence.
I currently have an infection which may have caused the MC, i dont know, but when it calms down and the meds are finished my DH and i are going to try again.
Remember that its not your fault. Its really important!:comfort:
All the best darling and good luck with everything in the future!

Pandagirl - I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Losing a baby is one of the most difficult things I have had to go through in my life (twice so far unfortunately). After my first m/c GP said no reason to wait that we could ttc straight away. I asked for tests after my second m/c (actually Ob offered I was lucky) - nothing was really found but I was much more confident when ttc again. Many doctors will not order investigations until you have had 3 m/c but I believe that if you want tests and are willing to pay for them then you should be able to get them regardless. If you really feel that you would like some tests before ttc again then there is no harm in asking (or you may need to demand). The minute you find out you are pg you have a connection with that bub so that precious week you knew you were carrying that Bub will be in your heart forever.

Good luck - some days seem really dull but the sun will shine again and you will have a healthy bub in your arms one day. Some days I never thought it would happen for us and my precious little man is now just over 3 weeks old. He is worth everything that I've been through to get him - it's a tough journey but it is worth it.

Are you taking folate & or a pregnancy vitamin? Might be a good idea if you are not doing that already.

Good luck - I hope you have lots of good support. The ladies in here are great - I found it so much easier to cope once I joined BB.

Sending you a big hug.

I misscarried last year on the 22 June and on the 22 July I got a BFP and am currently 28 weeks pregnant. I was desperate to get pregnant again and didn't want to face af and even though we didn't dtd at O (2days before) I got my BFP. It certainly was a relief to not have to get af but I also had my own personal issues to deal with because I didn't have a chance to work through my grief but am glad the way things have worked out with getting pregnant again so quickly. If you wish to try go for it, my miscarriage was a 'perfect' text book miscarriage and there was no mention from my GP on to wait or not.

I have also heard but unsure of the reasons why that you are more fertile for the first 3 mths after a miscarriage.

I am really sorry for your loss and wish you the stickiest of BFP possible

Thanks for all your nice words its good to know im not a complete nut case, well no more than usual. At work today and has been so slow, I do much better on days when i can stay busy

Oh Pandagirl there is no ONLY is MC, if you are 3 weeks or 30 weeks you have still lost a baby and all the dreams that go with it!

I was so suprised and knocked for 6 when it happened to me and i did have another child to go home and hold. I had to have 2 D&C's and had a very bad time with it physically....I swapped OB's (whole other story) and when i went to her to get checked out that everything was ok to start trying again she did a ultrasound and there was my little Evie girl 5w3d's it was amazing and so scary to see! it was also then a very llllloooooonnnnggggggg pregnancy but i then started to enjoy it at 18weeks.

SO i guess it didnt matter to my body that we fell again so soon...

Give yourself time and feel whatever you need to feel! gain support from those who understand and ignore those that dont understand!

Dear Panda Girl,

I am so so sorry to hear of your loss. I know how hard it is to lose that little precious one inside of you (I had 3 m/c`s last year). As the other girls in here have mentioned, nothing can prepare you for the emotions you experience during a m/c. I am so glad your DH is so supportive.

My advice is to please be kind to yourself and don`t beat yourself up while you are riding that horrible rollercoaster of emotions you experience post m/c. Give yourself the chance to grieve and feel what it is you are feeling.

I am sure that 2009 will bring you what your heart desires.

I am wishing you lots of positive vibes.

Take care of yourself.

Hello Pandagirl

I am so sorry you lost your little one around such a challenging time - and as many of the other ladies have mentioned - we connect and build an emotional world of expectations around our little ones before they are in our arms - so it is irrelevant how long we knew of them.

I remember doing a lot of reading around after my m/c at 9 wks last year as the doc I had seen had given me a spiel the day before it happened and then after ringing her to tell her the baby was gone the next day she said she didn't need to see me again.

I had a complete m/c without needing a D & C and I remember how long it took everything to settle - that besides the obvious physical event - for many it is 6 wks min for the hormones to settle and Hcg levels to return to 'normal' - which might explain why it can keep hitting us in different forms for a time after a lot of people consider you should have 'dealt' with it. My next two cycles had an Ov that was too early and the next cycle went for 40 days - so it was good in my case to see how a couple of cycles unfolded before we headed seriously into TTC. Things seem to have settled down to reasonable now and I find I'm not as teary as I was for the first few months there.

Being kind to yourself is one of the best preps you can do.

Good luck with everything!
Karen van:D

The only way I could feel back in control after a loss was to TTC again. I never waited and in the end it paid off. Best of luck for a sticky pregnancy next time.