toilet training taking FOREVER - words of wisdom needed.

My dd2 is 3yr3mths and has been out of nappies during the day since she was about 2 1/2yo and out of night nappies since 3yo. She rarely has any accidents overnight, but during the day has regular wee accidents (never poo accidents). I always have to remind her to go to the toilet and she often just wets her pants, sometimes a number of times a day at home or on occasion in public. She can go many days or even a week or more without an accident, there seems to be no pattern to it. It seems sometimes that the message that she needs to go to the toilet isn't registering. If she has an accident once in a day it is likely that she will have several accidents that day, sometimes I wonder if she is just too busy to go but then again she never really tells me she needs to go to the toilet herself. She isn't concerned by accidents and I make little fuss as I don't want it to be an issue.
Do you think it is just a matter of time? Can I be more proactive, are there things I can do to support her? She is off to 3-yo kinder in a few weeks and I don't want her to have the embarrassment of an accident at kinder.

Hi Melissa

Wish I could help, but I'm in exactly the same postition as you. It sounds like you just described my DD1. Hopefully someone will come in soon with some helpful advice for both of us!

I don't think there will be a problem with being embarrassed at kinder. It's a fact that there will be many accidents by several kids in the first few weeks. It will probably be a great learning situation for her and a bit of a novelty using the toilets.

Some kids take a bit longer to want to go when they first feel the urge. I think it's due to other more important things going on and before they realise they can't hold on anymore.

She'll get it soon :hug: I understand your frustration though!

You'll probably find that she's distracted with something when she accidents! I wouldn't be concerned about it just keep reminding her to go to the toilet! Medically she could have a urine infection but it sounds more like shes distracted to me! If your worried you can always see your gp to rule out anything medical!
Best of luck!
Snoopea

I second Raven's advice. I am hoping that kindy will help my DS1 also. That and his younger brother who is just about TTd already!

Some kids just do better at remembering to go to the toilet than others. My DS1 has lots of strengths. Unfortunately getting caught up in what he is doing and not stopping to go to the toilet is one of them. Seriously, I think DS2 will be accident free by 2 1/2. DS1 is nearly 4 and we have at least 2 a week. He knows how to use the toilet, he mostly goes when he needs to. But sometimes he doesn't. I have asked lots of medical professionals and apparently it is normal at this age, so don't worry. It will happen when she's ready. And hopefully kindy will that along. GL.

My DS is a lot younger, but he's better at wanting to go to loo at Nursery, because other children are asking to go. So that may settle your mind on that one.

I use cloth training pants on Nursery days and nappies at home that DS can pull up and down quickly. So he knows when he's wet and can use the loo if he wants, but if he doesn't then that's OK too. Maybe cloth training pants could be used after the first accident to save you some work? They still look like big-girl pants, just don't leak.

Best of luck to you.