When should I try for #2? Close together or further apart?

Our DD is 1 year old. Went to the hairdressers yesterday and sat next to a lady with a 6 month old son. He was gorgeous and I couldn't help be clucky. She even had the same Ob as me and attended the same hospital! Small world. Was it a sign for me I wonder.

We have been talking about having another one soon. But I am not sure whether close together would be good or further apart. With DD's personality, I think the longer I left it, she may not accept the new addition. Just a feeling I get.

If I fall PG in April, she will be around 2 when we have our next one. Or should I fall PG at the end of this year so she is almost 3? Not sure what to do.

Scared I may not be able to handle two! I'm sure I'd adjust though. DD is still having problems sleeping through but it comes and goes. If she is teething, she'll wake once through the night.

Hmmm....any thoughts?

im only going off seeing my sister..she had my nephew in september 06 and my niece in july 07...very close and iv got to admit they are sooo cute with each other...close,happy and have each other to play with.
so after that id say sooner and im not saying its been easy for her but as i say its great how close they are.
love rach xxx

For me....im a firm follower of closer the better....i dont do things in big gaps. We could afford it, its what we wanted so we went with the flow.

Close ages have worked in my favour....and i wouldnt change it for the world. I have 11 months between #1 and #2 and then 14.5 month gap between #2 and #3.

Having mine nearly 19 months apart - and one being a complete drama queen - I think I'm leaning towards waiting until he is older before having my next one. Its quite difficult going from 1 to 2 I think!!! Could be made harder for me cos i returned to work when DD was 3 months old - never seems enough time to do anything!!!!

DS is pretty good at sharing - but has jealousy issues when it comes to sharing ME. Anything else he is pretty good at. Like, i got him a drink today, and he went and got another cup out of the cupboard and held it up and said "kelti's cup"? So he wanted her to have a drink cos he was having one (awww cute!!)

He's very high maintenance though - and is still teething - so I'm thinking of waiting until DD has all her teeth before going again...cos having 2 teething at the same time does not make for a good night's sleep!!! lol

QB, I know it sounds cliched, but truly, only your and your DH will know what is best for your family. I have been having the 'when to TTC' debate recently, as DH would like to NOW (or last year LOL) whereas I would like a bigger gap. At the moment I'm aiming for 34+ months between babies, and DH is waiting patiently (mostly ;)). When DS was under one I thought a closer gap would be good - however, as he's hit toddlerhood I've decided that 3 years might be best LOL! Some of my reasons - I am really enjoying this stage, and don't feel ready to give up my time with just DS. I am really, really scared of having bad ms again, and how I will cope with a toddler (and PT work) at the same time. I'm worried about having BFing issues again, and I know that if I do it will take up alot of time (and BFing is super important to me). I know I will have to deal with all of these things whatever the age, and it will be hard work. But I feel it will be somewhat easier, for me and DS (and DH), if he is closer to 3 than 2. Also, I really feel that I want to be as excited about TTC, and being pg with our second as I was with DS. And I can feel that I'm getting there, that excitement is not far off. But if we'd rushed having a baby, then we would have missed all that anticipation. I hope YKWIM!

Other than that - there is 3 years between my brother and I, and I think it worked well for us. DH's sisters are all alot older than him. I don't know, I just don't want to have my babies close together! Can't really explain it, sorry. But have a really good think about what you're hoping for next time, and how you think your DD will cope. It's so hard to see into the future, but it's worth a try. And chatting about it with DH will probably help you both decide when the right time will be. You know what, when it comes, you'll know ;)

I guess there are pro's and con's for both ways and what is right for one person may not be right for you.

My three are quite close in age. I had the three of them in just under three years and whilst I wouldnt change any of them (love them to bits) - if I had known what I do now I would have waited for a bigger gap between them.

The gap of nearly three years (one months short of three years) between my DS1 and DD seems to work really well. DS1 was old enough to have some independence and was quite "into" his sister when she was born and still is now.

Where as DS2 was only 14 months when DD was born and was still very much a baby himself but he had to grow up very quickly (for which I feel guilty about)!

I guess (for me) I wish I had more time to spend with each of them rather than running around like a crazy woman - again for me the close age gaps has meant a lot of work and hard times but I keep telling myself it will all be worth it when we get out of this baby/toddler stage.

Dont get me wrong I love seeing them playing together and doing things together but the close age gap has taken away some of the enjoyment of parenting (for me).

Good luck with your decision - whatever you decide it will be the right decision.
Jem

You know my deal Bindy so all Im going to do is tell you to listen to your heart!