DD is 1 and I am comforting her to sleep, is that ok??

Haven't been able to grab a copy of No Cry Sleep Solution as yet however, instead of DD now sleeping on me in the lounge room and THEN putting her to bed, we have a good bedtime routine, a story, bottle of milk and then light off, stroke hair for a minute and I walk out. She will scream. I then go in after 30 seconds. Then she settles straight away again and lies back down, I stroke hair again and walk out. She will do it about 4 times and then starts to fall asleep when I stroke her hair again. I really can't walk away from her. She falls asleep eventually and I have no problem settling her to sleep, I don't stress out about it.

Just wondering whether I should be walking out, even if the process is repeated 20 times?

Would like to know what others think about this subject, thanks!

I usually just stay stroking DS if he's awake, unless he's amused & playing.
If he's busy playing he usually puts himself to sleep, but if he wakes when I put him in I'll stroke & pat him till he's asleep.
I think its easier & quicker to stay, but its up to you & whatever works for you.

We stay until DS is asleep - and he's 2.

I say if it doesn't bother you doing it - why stop?

Yes I don't mind staying. But I just wonder whether that is setting up bad habits for the future. I really love to stay with her though. It works really well.

On another note, I went to Mums Group today and another Mum went to a sleep clinic for a week with her DD (same age as my DD). Her DD is now sleeping through the whole night but won't go down for day sleeps at all and screams and screams and screams, my poor friend can't even calm her at all, she seems anxious since she got back for her day sleeps and will only let my friend's hubby (her DH) settle her through the day. But of course he works. It is so sad, I arrived first to Mums Group and she was crying, needing a shower and a cup of coffee. I just felt so awful for her. I looked after her DD and my DD whilst she had a shower. I just think those sleep clinics sometimes do more harm than good.

My son is 2 and a half and I still sit in the room with him until he goes to sleep, I think it's better then the alternative which is having him screaming and getting upset. I don't mind doing it as I know it won't last forever and at least I get some quite time to myself for a bit.

hugs xoxo

Amanda, yes it is good bonding time isn't it?

What bad habits could she really learn from having her mum around caring for her and comforting her?

Shades, ok maybe that came out wrong. i mean...

Bad habits as in never learning to self settle, especially if DP and I were to have another one. By all means, I love my DD, love staying with her and would never let her scream and cry uncontrollably until she was extremely upset. I don't like CC at all actually.

I hope that makes sense :rolleyes:

QB - you might find that she can self settle - she just prefers you to be there whilst she does it ;)

And FWIW - its never caused a problem here when Miss M arrived. Somehow, it all just works.

I agree with Mel, COdy is my 4th and I've just worked in with all the others and this is our special time together without the others.

hugs xoxo

Sorry Queenbee - I didn't mean to come out sounding agro :) I just have a family that believes in controlled crying and it gets my back up!
I guess I don't see that much of a difference between a self-settler and a child that would probably only need about 5 mins of hair-stroking eventually, because they're so used to it and comfortable and trust that mum's still around... but I don't have kids of my own so I'm still in idealism land maybe :)

Shades, oh no offence taken! I didn't mean to sound that I was offended :lol: I know what you mean. I have a SIL that is a big believer in CC and left her daughter up to 1 hour one day screaming. It worked BUT not for me.