HELP...Three in the bed!!!!!

This is a long one so please, please bear with me....OOH where to begin.

My son at 17 months began to start waking during the night and started showing signs that he didn't really like sleeping in his cot, so we had a spare queen size bed in the spare room and thought it would be a good idea to start him off in there (I was a little concerned about him falling out so thought it would be better than a single bed for the short term). He did extremely well and once again began sleeping through the night with out any hassles at all for 6 - 7 months.....BUT then we purchased a single bed for him just after his 2nd birthday and the problems began again. At first he loved it, (the bed was a little higher so he needed to learn how to get off it safely) he fell off the bed twice while jumping on it and being silly and this seemed to greatly effect his confidence. Then it all began...he started to wake during the night and refused to go to sleep unless my DH or I laid in the bed with him. We would take in turns laying with him until he would drift off to sleep and then quickly vacate the bedroom, but his sleep never lasted for long. With both my DH and I working and desperately needing our sleep the only alternative was to put him in bed with us, so we could all get a good night sleep. BUT we have made a HUGE error with not persisting and so now just cannot get him out of the habit of co-sleeping. This inturn effects my relationship with my DH and with another baby arriving in less than 4 months we need to do something....BUT WHAT???? I am at a loss at where to begin.

Please Help.....advice, ideas, have you been in this situation, Would love to hear from you.

We are in a similar situation partly because dd wants to be with us and partly because she still moves all over the bed and gets uncovered constantly and falls out alot too so we have her single bed in our room crammed between the wall and our bed so she can't go anywhere! ( and I can cover her easily when she gets uncovered) It suits us, as we only have one child. Not sure what I would do if I had a second on the way, as if you still had him in your room, the two children might disturb each other.
We have tried to get her to sleep in her own room but have not been able to hit the right formula for that so I wish you loads of luck.

I think like anything, going to the dentist, weaning, co-sleeping - it has to be done slowly and gently. Make a big deal of it and they are going to be less likely to want to do it, become frightened of it etc.

What we did for Marisa was make her bedroom a special place for her. We bought her new sheets in her favourite characters / colours, made a theme in her room with her favourite things, and made sure the room had plenty of fun things and fun times were spent in it.

Some people do things like hanging special things around the windows like crepe paper, put their paintings on the walls, make mobiles with their favourite theme things, hung photos of family, etc. But lots of little things that help them feel that it's their part of the world. Kiddie beanbags, a work desk, and most of all, not sending them to their room in a way which they will not enjoy it - Marisa has 'quiet time' in her room when she needs to or if she needs to calm down, but we don't make it such that it's the 'naughty room' or 'naughty corner' which only emphasises the behaviour and that it's a place to go when she is bad. So try making the bedroom a fun place, do some fun things in there with him and he'll start falling in love with his room sometime soon I am sure. Slowly does it, it wont be overnight but the more fun you make it, the easier it will be, than having a power struggle with them. Marisa was a co-sleeper from birth and she still jumps in every now and again, but she is fine by herself too - so even the long time co-sleeping babies can get the confidence to move into their own bed themselves.

have you thought about putting a mattress on the floor in your room, so he is with you but not in your bed? then perhaps you could hold his hand whilst you are in your bed and he is on his mattress.

i agree especially with a baby coming along the transition whatever it is needs to be done slowly.

good luck
beckles