How do i get her to sleep before 10pm?? (warning - long rant)

The past 2-3 weeks have been shocking with DD (20 months).

Since she started FDC she doesnt want to sleep at night!

Nothing has changed in her routine. We still do the same every night:
6pm dinner
6.45pm bath
7.15pm milk, book
730 bed

It has been like this for the past 12 months.

Now she will scream non stop - she will get out of bed - turn the lights on and scream.
We tried taking away her step stool so she cant open the door (but in turn cant get back onto the bed either - so we have to go in and put her repeatedly on the bed) and remove her night lights until she is actually asleep.

She will scream until she makes herself sick - kicking the door non stop.
We have tried leaving her for 5 minutes, walking in - put her on the bed, kiss and tuck in with good nights and she does the same time.
After 1 hr or 1.5hrs of repeating this with increasing the time frames a little each time she is still not asleep.

I then cave in as it is 830 by now and i am exhausted and i dont want her to wake DS, so i let her come into my room - she will roll around on the bed trying to get comfy with me for about 1.5-2hrs until she finally passes out!!

and she wakes at 6am every morning without fail!

I cannot do this every single night. I want to be asleep before 1030 because DS is due to wake a few hours later for a feed.

I have tried to hold out her day sleep (she still sleeps 2 hrs in the day) too see if that will make her go to bed earlier but she will pass out from exhaustion - sometimes in the middle of lunch and i cant wake her,


Any suggestions, word of wisdom or hints?
TIA

I'm no expert but from my experience if she has a day nap everday (routine) she should sleep better at night. If she misses her day sleep she will be over tired come bedtime & behave the way you've been describing, well if my DD missed her day sleep at that age, I would have probs getting her to sleep that night. I still had her in a cot at that age so I could put her in there & she just had to stay in bed whether she wanted to or not until she was too tired to fight it anymore & fell asleep.

You say its since she started FDC, do they give her a day sleep? If not, that may be the cause of the problem??

IMO At 20 months old she would still NEED her day sleep

Someone else may be of more help, as I said, this is just from my experience :)

She still has her day sleep about 1230-330 ish.
This is the same at day care. She will sleep there for 2-3 hrs too.

This is what i mean nothing has changed apart from starting care.

maybe reduce the day sleep to 60 mins, but do it gradually over a few weeks, 10 mins less a day and see if that helps, that way she will adjust to less day sleep

PP - aricyn does this if he has a day sleep - and he is really really exhausted at around 4pm... lol.. but we make him hold out - we bring his bath earlier in the day (4.30 instead of 6pm) and that seems to wake him up enough.. then he has his dinner.. then he plays until bedtime (6.45)

More often than not he'll pass out in bed in about 2 mins flat.

If we give him a day sleep - yup - up till 10 messing around.

Maybe she's going through that in between stage... she's sorta ready for it, but not.

It was suggested to me by my SIL that you give a day nap on one day, then the next day, no day nap etc.. sorta ease them into it.

He only gets a day nap now when we go out somewhere and he falls asleep in the car. We don't do much at home either, cos if he gets too excited or runs around heaps, wears him out quicker.

So we do a lot of lounging until his body is ready to tackle doing activities AND no day sleep. ;)

Thanks JOls/Mel

She has passed out on the floor now - i dont know how i would keep her awake for 6 hrs longer (from midday) to be ready for bed.
Perhaps she is in that inbetween stage

Do you think if i let her lay on my bed and watch night time tv with me i will be able to get her out of that habit... or is it a mistake to start

I don't think I'd show her TV just before bed - it might stimulate her further.

I agree with AJP re. shortening the day sleep. She seems to still need some nap - but I would try shortening it to 60-90mins and see what happens.

Sounds like she still does need a day sleep if she is falling asleep so easily on her own, if she was ready to stop that she'd more likely fight it.
I'd go with the others maybe decrease the time of the day sleep.
Also how well has she settled into day care? Does she seem happy to go there or get really upset?

She loves Day care to bits! so that is not an issue.

Well i have put her down with her lamp on.. so far no noise (she screamed blue murder before with the light off..)

is it common to start no liking the dark?

Jovie hates the dark and being alone now at night.. sometimes DH is with her until 9.30pm getting her to bed if she sleeps during the day. Jovie has day sleeps every other day or so, she is terrible. BUT we noticed that if there is a light on ( we bought an extremely low wattage light to put on the other side of the room) she goes quicker. I don't have any answers... we are still going through it. When she goes to day care she doesn't sleep... but she screams from 4.30pm until 7pm that way.... which is frustrating.

Did she sleep well with the lamp on? Could very well be the dark she doesn't like. Maybe get her a special night light or something.

She has a litle night light but i guess it wasnt enough.
So i had a wall lamp up - and i mean it lights the whole room lol but i guess dimmer than the roof light.

So i peep tommed through her window from the back yard lol (we have tinted windows so when her light is on she cant see out),

She walked around - pulled the drawers out and in from under her bed, watched the fan and curtains move for a while

Then tried to get back on the bed (but cant as we removed her step stool so she couldnt get the door open)

Then stood for about 5 minutes with her back against the door - cried a few times (mostly noise not tears) and then after about 10 minutes layed down on the floor at the door and fell asleep.

So will try the light again to night.

Hoping she will realise that if she hops off her bed at night she cant get back on and will stay on it (we put the foot stool back in her room after she falls asleep and open her door slightly so she can get out in the morning.