I'm so angry

It's been about a week, and I have been in so much pain with the cramping and bleeding from my miscarriage. Everytime I feel the pain I get so angry, I was suppose to have a beautiful baby from this pregnancy not all this pain. I feel like no one around me understands, I don't know what to do, or how to feel. When does this get better? When will life start being somewhat normal again. When will I be able to smile without forcing it? I know so many women go through this, and my heart goes out to each an every one. No one should have to go through this. Can someone tell me though, how long did it take to get to a point where you felt like life goes on?

Em

Oh Em, I'm so sorry you have to go through this :comfort:

I really struggled after me mc too. I took about a month or so off work, and felt I just couldn't go anywhere in fear of seeing babies and pregnant mums because I was upset and angry (At the time my job also involved looking after babies, which I felt I just could not go back to so I even changed jobs!).

But the next cycle we conceived our daughter and then things started to feel better. The pain was still there but I had accepted what happened, and I started to think how lucky I was to have my little angel baby with me for even the 13 weeks or so that it was inside me. Although much too short, the time was still special and made me become a mummy.

Sending you all the strength you need to get through this..

xx

So sorry to hear of your loss :hug:

Em, until today i had no idea how any of this felt, and now that i do.. i can now be there for you! :hug"

I too know what you mean, feeling like its all surreal, and not meant to be this way.

I am sorry i dont know when life will feel better, as this is the first time for me.... and i just dont know.

I hope your healing is soon xoxoxox

Em, I'm so sorry for your loss. And you're right, no one deserves to go through it!

After I lost Jayvan I took about 5 weeks off work, I've been back for 4 weeks now and have only just started to feel like myself again. You will have good days and bad days as time progresses, the more time you give yourself, the further apart these days get. Now that we're TTC again I'm starting to feel a little more confident even though I'll be a comlete ball of nerves with my next preg!
Make sure you let yourself go through all your emotions, don't bottle them up because they'll bite you in the bum later! It's perfectly normal to well up at seeing babies and pregnant woman because it is totally unfair that this happens to some of us and not others.
And like Lee said, you do end up realising how special the time was you had with your little angel babies and accept what has been handed to you.
:hug:

Hi Em

so sorry that you are going through this :hug:, i had an ectopic preg which i had surgery for two weeks ago, i understand totally what you are going through. i would also like to know at what stage i am going to feel better?? my scars from the surgery are a constant reminder of my lost angel...

Give yourself time to grieve and then you will have the strength to move on - this is what i am currently trying to do.

Em :hugs:

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

I'm another one who knows how your feeling.

You need to allow yourself time to greive for your loss, over time you will start to feel as though things are getting a little easier for you.

Big hugs hun .

hun, its a horrible hell that no one should ever have to endure - but ride the hell wave you must, you must let yourself go through all the emotions, if you feel that ou must scream then scream - if you feel that you must cry and collapse in aheap then do it.

about a month after my second one i did just this, after a few glasses of wine, at a bbq.....

then i got counselling, which helped so much.

but i thought about them daily. only once i fell pregnant with my now 2 month old did i truly start to heal.

take care of yourself, do what you can to relax

Em, I'm sorry for your loss and I know how horrible life must feel right now for you. Sending you big comfort hugs to help you on the rollercoaster ride you have ahead of you. Each of my m/c took some months to get over. Contributing to the TTCAML helped and reading stories of success - often! - helped too. Take care and be kind to yourself.

Em, I am so sorry to hear of the pain you are going through, and that this has happened.
I have just had my 2nd miscarriage, 4 days ago, and know how you are feeling.
I have been off work for a week, this time around I feel like the whole experience has affected me more. I feel more tired, more emotional and do not feel like myself. I have had cramping and backache which is not easing, although my bleeding has almost stopped.
I believe that you need time to heal, to cry, to talk about what you are going through.
Miscarriage is an experience that no-one should ever have to go through. Just know that we are here for you, and I really hope that you can take some time out for yourself.
Take care xx

DS- 16/07/2006 (2 1/2 years old)
M/C #1- 28/09/2008 @ 7 weeks
M/C #2- 04/02/2009 @ 9 weeks 6 days

I don't know when to tell you that it gets better or goes back to normal. I had my m/c almost three weeks ago and I feel that i have good days and not so good days. You'll get through this ( I tell myself this all of the time) and things will get better, but you did lose a child - it's a horrible thing to deal with. This place, though has shown me I'm not alone and that is a great comfort. There are so many supportive people here who have such kind things to say. Hang in there.

Em, first up, huge huge hugs to you hun. You are so right to think that noone should have to go through this, they shouldn;t and it is a horrible horrible time. I so much wish that I could say to you that after this much time you will start to feel better again but honestly, there is no right answer to this question. All you can do is go through the range of emotions, absolute heartbreak to anger and jealousy and then one day, it just starts to get less painful than the day before. Cry as much as you need to, it really really helped me to talk to people that have walked this road before. I felt so so lonely because I had so many people saying that they understood yet they themselves had never had a miscarriage. Talking to people who really understand from experience helped ease that loneliness. If I am being honest with myself, while initially it took a good three to four months before I felt normal again, it has taken a good 20 months for me to fully accept and be at peace with the loss of my babies so just remember, it can take a while. Wishing you well sweetie, you are not alone in this.

Emily, I am so sorry hun for your loss, it is a terrible heartache. Losing a much wanted pregnancy is devastating to say the least, a lot of us women have travelled down this road too. I lost my son at 20 weeks almost four and a half months ago, I was half way through my pregnancy. I sought councelling almost straight away (and am still going to my sessions as I would love to have another baby and she is helping to prepare me mentally) and a lady from Sids and Kids rings me every month or so to check on me, God bless her for all her support. I guess I knew my life was getting back to some sort of 'normality' about 2 months after I lost my baby. The smile will return to your face, and you'll learn how to laugh again. For now you will grieve for you baby, and when you have accepted and dealt with your loss, you'll find that life does go on.
I wish for your heart to heal soon, and for life to be enjoyable again.
Beata xxx