Were you scared to have a VBAC, but did it anyway?

I really wanted a natural waterbirth with DD, and ended up with an emergency CS.

Now, I'm trying for #2 and while I would dearly love a VBAC this time, I also can't stop thinking about the low % that do go wrong and how much I would hate myself if something awful happened. DD was big too (10lb 2oz) and I have been told subsequent babies would probably also be big, if not bigger.I know (and have seen the videos of) women who successfully have VBACs with huge babies but it still worries me.

I guess I'm worried that my anxieties would stuff up the birth process if I were to try a VBAC while thinking all these things.

So, if you had concerns but went through with it, how did you cope? Did it become a non-issue once you were in labour? Or do you feel it made your labour/birth harder than it might otherwise have been?
I would love to get some perspective on this before it blows way out of proportion in my mind.

Hi :)

I haven't had a vbac but I've worked with women who have.
I think it's fantastic that you're facing the emotional issues that are lingering after your last caesarean. Alot of times women find these things just too scary to face and throw themselves into preparing for a vbac without unpacking the emotional stuff from last time. Which then quite promptly jumps up to bite them in some form at term or when they're in labour.

It can't be ignored because it's central to your beliefs about the safety of birth and vbac, and your own ability to birth normally. Facing this stuff and dealing with it not only gives you a better chance of having your vbac but also of course it helps you to heal before you bring a new baby into your life. :hug:

If you're in Brisbane I can refer you to a group that works specifically with birth trauma and birth after caesarean...if you're not perhaps CANA might be able to help you find someone. It would also help to speak with an independent midwife who can go over the risks of vbac with you and help you to put it all into perspective. She could also go over your birth notes with you if you have those (they're easy to get if you don't - and usually incredibly enlightening!!) Sometimes even though you know intellectually what the risks are with a vbac it helps to have a professional who is looking at you as an individual reaffirm what you already know ;)

Hugs and healing to you and I hope you have a fantastic birth, however it happens.

Thanks Tobily for your information and support. When I manage to conceive (hurdle number one!) I will look into both those options as I am probably close enough to Brisbane.
I think my OB will encourage a VBAC. I didn't even think of accessing my notes - that would certainly be interesting...

We did a hypnobirthing course with a lovely lady. It goes through why we are or can be afraid of labour and gives you tools to work through that and to cope with it. I found it to be invaluable and we're doing a refresher in a couple of weeks for this next bub. Well worth every cent in my opinion! (also if you have health care you can claim it ;)) Also, I found that once in labour I wasn't thinking about me, I was concentrating on birthing, so yes it became a non issue. The lady I did the hypnobirthing with is now living at Bribie Island. If that's convenient for you let me know and I'll pm you her details. Even if you're still TTC I'm sure she'd chat to you.

That sounds really interesting. I think I will wait until one's on the way, but thank you. I will remember to PM you later.:)

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We did a hypnobirthing course with a lovely lady. It goes through why we are or can be afraid of labour and gives you tools to work through that and to cope with it. I found it to be invaluable and we're doing a refresher in a couple of weeks for this next bub. Well worth every cent in my opinion! (also if you have health care you can claim it ;)) Also, I found that once in labour I wasn't thinking about me, I was concentrating on birthing, so yes it became a non issue. The lady I did the hypnobirthing with is now living at Bribie Island. If that's convenient for you let me know and I'll pm you her details. Even if you're still TTC I'm sure she'd chat to you.

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Oziehoffy can I please have your hypnobirthing ladies details?
(We used to live on Bribie, still have family there :) )
Also I am a bit over 33 weeks now, is it too late to do something like this?

Hi!
Its fantastic that you are thinking about a VBAC and your fears even before you are pregnant! I had a VBA2C in March and I had A LOT of stuff that I needed to work thru before I went into labor. I would def look into getting your birth notes from the hospital you bithed at. I read mine dozens of times and had an independant midwife read them and go over them with me.
I had a terribul problem of not trusting my body. I didn't think my body would be able to birth a baby. So I surrounded myself with people who did have trust in my body. For me that was my hubby, my wonderful independant midwife and my ob.
I read LOTS of birth stories and VBAC stories. I wrote about my previous c-sections and posted them on the birthrites website. I did LOTS of crying. Both my boys were taken to special care nursery and I didnt hold them for over 24hrs so I also mourned what I didn't get with them.
Once I forgave myself and knew all about my births I worked on preparing for labor.
I purchaced a hypnobirthing CD and listened to it at night (I couldn't afford the course.... having an indepandant midwife was more important to me) I would try and visulise pushing the baby out and practiced relaxing. I love the water and would get in the bath close my eyes take some dep breaths and just practice relaxing.
There were days when I would feel so confident and couldn't wait to have a VBAC then there were days when I thaught I couldn't do it.
I did have a fear of the pain when the baby crowns. Everyone said that it burnt so bad. When I was in labor and pushing I did think about it but the contractions took so much of my energy and attention.
I did also doubt myself when I was in labor BUT it was during transition and most women say that they can't do it and want to go home during transition so I think it was just normal doubts and not VBAC doubts.
I also read lots and lots of info. I'd suggest looking at the birthrites website and the ican website. I'll paste their addresses below. Good luck and I hope you enjoy your journey just as much as I enjoyed mine :D

Birthrites - Healing After Caesarean
International Cesarean Awareness Network