charbie monster joins us earth side 17/08/06
our birth and the events following..
16/08/06 i wake up at 1am to go to the loo, for something different.
something feels weird...go back to sleep and wake up at 2am, somethings definetly happining.
wake DF up i dont really know why, i was scared i guess.
We get up, too excited, scared, anxious and nervous to sleep i guess.
at 6am i ring mum and say we're coming over coz our heater is broken and im cold, oh and by the way the babies coming today!
Labour at mums for another hour and a half
730am ring hospital, its been 5 and a half hours by now surely they'll want me to come in...no take a panadole and sleep. YEH RIGHT!! panadole doesnt help with my headaches WTH is it going to do for contractions...really?!
Send DF home to sleep, labour untill 230pm decide to go into hospital, contractions are irradic, no rythm no constant length..sent home as soon as i walk in the door
Continue to labour at mums till 630pm, go back to hospital, they tell me to go home yet again, i crack it and inform them that im not going through those doors without my child in my arms! they admit and we walk and walk and walk, i think we started tread marks in their carpet!
10pm i request an internal, things are really painfull and felt if i knew how many more cm's i needed to dilate i could have sense of things finishing and keep fighting through my contractions.
Midwife goes down there pokes around for a bit, damn that hurts! ok great your 5cms!
WAT?!?!?!*insert many many expletives here*
GET ME SOMETHING NOW!!!!
waters break while im screaming my head off at anyone who came near me, theres a problem, water isnt clear so onto the monitor i go.
DF thinks its great coz he can now inform me when a contraction is coming, i dont think he realises how many time i nearly clobbered him for announcing that! i hate being hooked up i cant move!
I scream for pethadine i cant take it anymore, an hour later its still not here.
So i lay on the delivery bed on my back writhing in pain, screaming and crying then my peth shot walks through the door! no sorry too late i have to push!!!
out come our baby girl Charlotte Ann at 12:42am, the exhuastion i'd felt while pushing was magically gone and i was wide awake!! we cuddle for an hour and she's weighed, 8pd 2, wowser alot bigger than we expected, MW checks me for tearing, nope not even a papercut..awesome!
DAY 1
im feeling great bubs is great everything is awesome, but i dont know how to feed..all im told is to squeeze my boob like a burger and put it in bubs mouth...err ok
I secretly pray that bub doesnt wake up for a feed while i have visitors, i really dont know what im doing! she wakes at night for a feed at some point, i put her on and do all i can to stop myself throwing her across the room BFing sucks i hate it, i think to myself
Early morning feed comes around ,oh no, i think please please please go back to sleep! nope she's hungry!! so i prop myself up with only a dim light on i wanted to start routine asap and thought i'd start in the hospital, so there we were in the dark all alone, me trying not to cry because of the pain, she detaches herself from me, the blisters that i had on my nipples are now gone but now they're bleeding, i freak out slightly but figure it must be normal right?
All of a sudden a MW comes storming in turns all the lights on and demands to know why im sitting in the dark!
aahhh coz its 4am and im tired u stupid b*&!h wat do u think?!
she asks me to show her how i BF, so i do, no she says ur not doing it right, goes away and comes back with a lil cup then expresses my colostrum with her hands.
i do my best not to cry and punch her in the face, IT HURTS! i feel violated, degraded and like im the most useless mother in the world.
She leaves, i cry
DAY 2
discharge day thank GOD!!!
MW comes in and does all the tests and checks my baby over
oh she has a tongue tie..
A wat i think to myself?! never heard of that.
dont get a chance to ask questions..she's gone already.
Get home and express straight away, the only time i put my baby to my breast is when the midwife visits and again have to stop myself from literally throwing my child
she checks baby's tongue and gives us 'tongue stretching excersizes'
After a week at home i give up on expressing,it's too much, i just cant do it. so we put her on formula
Weeks 2 at home we go see our MCHN for the first time, i tell her im feeding my baby formula, i sit back expecting to be slammed into the ground and have my head stomped on because im a uselss excuse for a mother, no she didnt, asks wat formula and how much she's drinking, i smile for the first time since my daughter was born.
She checks my daughter tongue and sits back staring for a bit she informs me that its quite a severe tongue tie and did i have trouble BFing when i was doing it? i burst into tears.
She gives me a number for a doctor who snips tongue tie's, because from her point of view its the best thing to do, it might stretch, but probably not and my daughter could have a speech impedimet(sp?) when she grows up.
She gives me a number of a counciler and a PND group in my local area.
2 and a half years later, im a happy healthy mum, and charlotte has a very unique heart shaped tongue! and she speaks perfectly.
Thank u for reading this, i'm really upset that noone picked up on my baby's tongue tie until the day we left hospital and that we were given no advice on what options we had for it. thank god for my wonderful MCHN.
As soon as our next baby is born in october, i wont be checking fingers or toes or genitalia, my first reaction is going to be checking this baby's tongue!! i really really really want to BF this one until it self weans, fingers crossed!!!
