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I dont know what to do. Im at a loss. Mia co-sleeps with us and has been since she was 2 weeks old. She sleeps fine in my bed, no hassles at all. But i dont want it to go on forever. I feel like i have tried everything to get her to sleep in her cot, but she wont. She just cries, then screams and gets so worked up she vomits and i give in.
OH my what am i doing wrong???????????????? :wall:
:hug: Its hard when they don't want to do something that we desperately would like them to do!!!!
Miss M sometimes won't go to sleep in her cot - and thats ok ya know. I know this won't last forever, and if she needs me to rock her to sleep - and get her into a really deep sleep - and then put her in - she'll get used to waking up there - and feel comfortable - therefore - will hopefully settle herself in there.
HOPEFULLY ....lol
I did controlled crying with DS, and that is always an option - although - I would never do it again, simply cos of how DS is now. I don't know for sure if thats why he is insecure and clingy at 2 - but all the research points to maybe it could be to blame.
Does it really really bother you? Like, so you can't get things done during the day? Or are you worried about it becoming a bad habit? Do you have a sling that you could put her in to get her to sleep and then just take the sling off and put that in the cot with her?
I know Miss M usually wakes up when I put her in the cot - and sometimes she will fall back asleep when I stroke her head in circles (makes her eyes roll back all the time.. hehe)
So maybe try that? If you haven't already?
Other than that.. umm... try to enjoy it cos it won't last forever? LOL
It took me AGES / MONTHS to get Ava-jayde to sleep in ANYTHING other than her bouncenette! She refused the cot, she refused a bassinet. It was the only thing she would sleep in! After months of trying I put her in a different bassinette with a hood on it and she slept :clap: but then it still took AGES after that to get her into a cot, she wouldn't have a bar of it. :hug: babe I know it's hard, but it will get easier i promise
thanks girls.
I just feel like she "should" be in her cot coz thats where they are meant to be. Ive tried the CC.. didnt work and never ever wish to do it again as i think it did more damage to me than her and our relationship.
I can put her to sleep in there once she falls asleep on my bed but garrenteed she will wake screaming within 5 mins so i leave her on my bed so she gets more sleep IYKWIM.
Yes i am worried about the thought im never going to get my bed back because i have given into her.. if that makes sense.
And i miss mine and DP time.. no cuddles in bed coz shes always in there. SO its not doing much for our relationship.
I tried taking the side off the cot and putting it right next to the bed (thanks katones) but still didnt work.
dont know if its too late to try a bassinet.. shes nearly 60cm long.
You can get really long bassinets though babe! Or maybe buy one of those um.. snuggle beds to put in the cot!
what if you take the sid eoff the cot and have it against your bed? then she is still close to you but in her own space?
doudou - as i mentioned earlier, i have tried that. thanks anyway
whats a snuggle bed Kirst?
It's this little rectangle thing it's quite um.. wha'ts the word.. like made out of doona sort of stuff but it's all really "snug" and so when they lay in it it's nice and 'tight' .. it's really hard to explain lol
sorry hollye missed that part of your post.
some children do just like snuggles and she is only 4 months old, you havent given in to her. babies arent conniving little things they just want their needs met which is food sleep and love. she isnt plotting against you to make your life hell. she just loves you so much and wants to be close to the most inportant thing in her life.
with your DP do you guys have a spare room with a spare bed? can you put mia down and have your cuddles in another room? then go back to your bed to sleep?
HTH
ds is 16months old and has NEVER slept in his cot. he absolutely hates it!
it was the biggest waste of money, we've actually just dis-assembled it and packed it away. he's going straight into a big boy bed.
best of luck xoxo
All I can say is shoulda coulda woulda. Don't worry honestly. Forget all the textbook baby crap. Because there is no such thing. Every child is different. Take it slowly and loose the expectations, enjoy the cuddles with her and slowly but surely she will learn to sleep in her own space.
:clap: well said Cailin:
Every child is different
doudou - i wish but we are in a one bedroom unit atm till we move to brissy (before Oct) so theres not point looking for a bigger house here iykwim. She is very much a mummy's girl and wants to be with me all the time. Thanks for the advice :)
rainforest - yep im starting to think the same thing. waste of $$$. this one does convert to a toddler bed some mayb some day i will get use out of it. Also should prob look into getting a king size bed for us, the little bed hog. i was thinking about getting a barrier for one side of our bed, that way she can be next to me and ican be next to DP but that still kinda scares me a little... wat if it falls off.. she ends up on the floor, oh i would never forgive myself.
Cai - thanks darl. Its so hard, being a first time mum i think we all rely too much on them books and what they should be doing. I think they are helpful for pregnancy but babies.. no. They all set out perfect life, perfect baby and perfect routine, which just isnt realistic.
Kirst - thanks darl xoxoxo
hollye,
sending some :hug: sleep issues can be so frustrating and confusing. At that age we got my DD an amby, which worked well for us (we also did part time co sleeping). They are snug and the swaying and jiggling motion helps soothe them to sleep very easily.I think you can get cheaper ones on ebay. I know it is a lot of money, but they double as a port a cot too. If you are interested, there are threads about baby hammocks in the gentle parent section. Another suggestion which helped my DD sleep in her cot was a sleeping bag. Please dont ever blame yourself or think you are "giving in" to her demands, you are giving her what she needs and being the best parent you can. You are doing a great job and these sleep issues wont last forever. I really hope things improve for you soon. HTH
Hun, I think you're being realistic in suggesting that you get a king size bed :lol: Honestly, that is going to be so much easier for everyone than tring to get her to sleep in her cot.
My DS is a total cot hater! He loved his bassinette (for 6 months, then too big), but has always hated the cot, and although we used to partly cosleep, it's all the time now. He hasn't been in his cot for months, DH and I were just saying that we (he ;)) should disassemble it and store it away. I went out and ordered him a bed today :lol:
I totally understand where you're coming from. I like Cai saying shoulda, coulda, woulda. I wish I had let go many months ago, and just accepted that this was the way things were, and the way DS is. Although I still have moments when I wish to have my bed space back, I love co sleeping more than ever, and I'll really miss him when (if :lol:) he sleeps in his own room.
Maybe you could have a hammock for when you just feel you need a break? However you get around it, I would be sure that if you continue co sleeping you will one day be VERY glad you did. If you spend many months trying to get her to sleep well in her cot, you will likely be resentful of that time spent (and wasted, in my case. I could have been enjoying alot of other things, instead of trying to settle my baby in his cot!).
Good luck :) and remember to pop in here when you need support....there are many of us who understand the challenges that co sleeping can bring, but also can remind you of just how special and wonderful it is :D And that it doesn't last forever!
Hi There
I did for a big chunk of time, co-sleep with my DS as he hated his cot too...he would scream and be totally distraught and I could never do the controlled crying thing.....
DS would sleep in his cot for about 1.5 hrs when we first put him to bed, then he'd wake and I'd take him to our bed, put a rail thing up and go finish watching tele...then climb back into bed.
I realised that he would be out like a light as soon as I put him on the 'big' bed, so a few weeks ago, I took the rails off his cot, and what do you know...sleeps in there all night! He will occasionally wake, sit up, and make a noise....I go in, tell him to 'lie down' and he's back asleep. I do also have a mattress on the floor so if he wakes up a lot I can be there to settle him quickly.
There is no 'right' or 'wrong' thing to do....just do what is right for you and your DD.
Good luck, it will never go on forever....I sure don't need to sleep with my mum anymore anyway lol!