Friend in labour with prem bub how can I help?

Hi Ladies,

My friend is in labour as I type. She is 5wks early. What things can I get together to take up to her?

I think she may need some 5 o baby suits and some prem nappies. What else?

I don't know how prepared she would've been - I guess its possible she won't have anything at all ready inwhich case she'd need thing like maternity pads, breast pads, nighties. Perhaps some magazines to pass the time, or knitting if she's into it?

I know my g/f just liked to have visitors, to stop her worrying about bub when she couldn't be with him :)

Flamin' computer - double post!

organise her an ABA membership..she will probably need it if bubs isnt suckling to well

Bek, DS was 5 weeks early, and weighed 5lbs1oz. He wore 00000 for a long time (over 8 weeks), so she'll definitely need some of those. We used Huggies newborns for the first week, until changing to cloth. TBH, they were crap, and things were much better once we started using cloth nappies. If she's going to be using sposies, the yes, some premmie ones might be good.

It really depends on how her bub is. 35 weekers are often really good, and don't have to spend long in SCN, I hope that's the case for your friend's baby. If they are facing an extended visit, then things like meals delivered to home, washing done etc would probably be really helpful, as they'll be spending alot of time in hossy. Mind you, those things are really helpful when you're home with your baby too!!!

If I think of anything else I'll come back.

ETA Oh yeah, I can almost guarantee that she'll have BFing probs, especially if bub goes to SCN!

Just be there for her. Friendship atm is very important. Let her know even tho it is scary bub is only early by 14 days (fullterm 37 weeks). Give lots of hugs and a shoulder to cry on if she needs.

remember shes still celebrating a new bub, no matter the gestation.. so once bub is here, take flowers, balloons etc to make her feel like any new mum, which she is, she just has an impatient bub :)

as for material things.. things that would be nice are shower gels, shampoo, moisturiser, lip balm.

i agree with the ABA membership :):):)

mayb some breast pads.. nipple cream.. heat pack

Thanks Ladies,

Thankfully bub was born without a hitch at 1.30am. A healthy 3kg baby girl who was named Maja Alekandra. She is doing really well but she has some feeding issues and won't attach properly. I think the ABA membership is a great idea and I will talk to her about that asap.

I have got a pack of things from friut to pads arranged. Her DH has been busy getting stuff for her and her mum is helping too...So really all I have to do is support her

So good to hear that bub is doing well. I agree on the ABA membership, and the help with cooking and meals for the freezer. And she might need the clothes to be on the warm side, (like bonds wonder suits) as my sisters premie baby was a very cold baby (born in Feb last year) and she was always rugged up. Hopefully she can take bubs home with her and they dont need any time in special care. 3kgs sounds good for 35 weeks!

3kgs is a great weight for 35 weeks! I hope everything goes well for her. An ABA membership sounds like a great idea, I'm sure she'll find it useful.

yeah, ABA is a great idea.

My advice re the breastfeeding is don't let them do bottle for the suck feeds, and say a firm no to formula top-ups. Both of these will affect her supply. The baby even tho prem needs to learn to suck at the breast. And get her on the pump (the hospital should have one) inbetween feeds, especially if they do any tube feeding, use the EBM and not formula. The baby needs to be hungry for breastmilk, not filled up with formula.

I bluntly refused to give permission for formula for my 34 weeker (you actually have to give signed permission for this, yet most hospitals seem to skip that part!!) and I sat at the pump like a cow at the dairy LOL to have EBM for the tube feeds. Mind you I had to fight them sometimes cos she wasn't gaining like they wanted her to (pfft - she was 3.5kg already! LOL)

yeah, ABA is a great idea.

My advice re the breastfeeding is don't let them do bottle for the suck feeds, and say a firm no to formula top-ups. Both of these will affect her supply. The baby even tho prem needs to learn to suck at the breast. And get her on the pump (the hospital should have one) inbetween feeds, especially if they do any tube feeding, use the EBM and not formula. The baby needs to be hungry for breastmilk, not filled up with formula.

I bluntly refused to give permission for formula for my 34 weeker (you actually have to give signed permission for this, yet most hospitals seem to skip that part!!) and I sat at the pump like a cow at the dairy LOL to have EBM for the tube feeds. Mind you I had to fight them sometimes cos she wasn't gaining like they wanted her to (pfft - she was 3.5kg already! LOL)

Liz - they have already given formula without permission!!! grr They used the excuse that her blood sugar levels were too low. My friend is a little distressed atm regarding the feeding. I have spoken with her DH and he is going to call the ABA because he is very pro breastfeeding. I have suggested she start expressing and demand tube feeding with ebm...

Thanks for your advice everyone

Oh and if she is expressing to feed, I know it is hard, but dont let them (midwives etc) tell her not to worry about pumping in the wee hours of the morning. I know sleep is important, but she will need to pump at least once in those early morning hours to get her supply up.

My sister was told to sleep through, while my niece was in special care, and never managed to get her milk suppy sufficient enough to feed, but I was encouraged to feed at 3am to get supply up.

I will tell her that tip Rufalina..makes sense seeing that normal bubs need to feed through the night anyway.

Apparently bub is really sleepy and lazy and they are waking her to feed...

Sleepy and 'lazy' is VERY normal for a 35 weeker. We had to undress DS for at least 8 weeks for every single feed, as well as using a multitude of tricks to try and wake him up.

Ruf is right re. expressing in the night. And if she is BFing already then she most certainly should be going into the nursery at night to do so. The SCN nurses will tell her not to, but it's really important that she does. It's her baby, she can feed it whenever she bl00dy well wants to.

BTDT with bub being given formula without consent, but it is possible to overcome a rocky start, she will need lots of support though. And to stop giving formula! It just fills them up, and then they don't demand the breast, or even try to BF properly. It makes it really, really hard.

BekZ

The best things you can do are to be there for her, but she will be in a bit of shock, I was really out of it mentally for a few days when I had Nakita (almost 7 weeks early). But 3kg is a fabulous size, so I wouldn't buy too many little 00000 things, but a couple will be lovely, make sure you wash them as well so she can put them on bubs straight away, it feels the best to be able to provide your own things for bubs as you feel like you can't do much as a mum of a prem. For SCBU/SCN get short sleeved short legged suits, as they need access, even better are the Bebe suits, they wrap around, but I think the smallest they come in are 0000. Also beanie/hats and really handy especially if anything like my little girl he temps were all over the place and very difficult to control. Also a little blanket of her own, to go over her/him all wrapped up, make it easy to spot them in the nursery too

Nakita also had to have formula at the very start as her blood sugar levels were only 0.9, which is dangerously low. It MUST be treated quickly, there is not time to wait in this situation. It shattered me and I think it made the expressing thing harder, but it is critical, and she might be able to start to think of it as a medicine rather than Forumla if you know what I mean.

Bubs sucking reflex should be developed shortly, but she may have to go through some hand expressing and some pump expressing, it can be very stressful and she may start to worry about "how much" it is common for you not to be able to express a lot especially when stressed (been there done that ;))

You could take in some food to hosy (the food in the hospital I was in was terrible, but once we transferred to my Priv hosy it was fabulous!!), something she really likes, as she won't have a lot of time to sit around and read etc, so books not as useful, maybe organise TV for her room for when she is expressing. At this stage bubs is prob on 3 hourly feeds and she will need to try expressing 3 hourly, she will also be back and forth between her room and SCN, so some great slip on sock/shoes (Bonds have some) are fabulous, especially as you can wear them in bed and get up at night toe express or go to the nursery.

The max she should go without expressing is 5 hours, or your supply will struggle, I had a lot of problems and I wish I have know more about it all.

She will also need to try and keep her feet up, and relax as much as she can.

You may even want to give her a diary, she may wish to write down a few things no matter how long or short the journey is.

35 weeks is a great gestation, and with a 3kg bub that is just fabulous.

Bubs is sleepy due to the LBS, and also at this age they are supposed to be sleeping a lot more, more at day than night as well. It iwll take time for bubs to get enough energy to feed properly. We were only allowed 1 attempt at a BF a day, and really that was Nakita having a play, she didn't have the energy, she was fed via a NGT (Nasal Gatric Tube) for almost 2 weeks. She can ask to have a try at BF'ing if not today, tomorrow. After a few days we were allowed to try a second time if she demanded a feed.

There is more but that is a start, wishing your friend a safe journey, and being there for her is the best, especially making her room homely as it will feel very lonely by herself and no baby in the room with her :)

COngrats on your firends bub!

3kg is an awesome weight for 35 weeks :D

I probably wouldn't bother with the prem nappies, 3kg isnt really that small I'm not sure that the prem nappies would even fit. My lil man was 1.5kg and went straight into huggies newborn, they had to be rolled down and adjusted to fit him, but they did the job. I also wouldnt bother too much on 5x0 items, at 3kg she wont be in them for very long.

As for things for mum, you seem to have a good selection of things, the most important thing right now is your friendship, someone to talk to, someone she can call at awful hours during the night if need be.

All the best i hope your friend is home soon.

00000 suits would be good (some warmer ones for cooler days because prem Bubs need to be kept warmer than term Bubs). Sam was 2830grams at birth so similar size. We just used newborn size nappies from the start. The BEST thing that I was given was a book from the ABA on breastfeeding prem bubs. Ditto to what Liz, rufalina, janie & beema have said about BF. Good support for her re: BF is essential. Another thing I was asking people to bring for me was fresh fruit - something that was hard to come by in hossie. My sister also did up a nice pack with some shampoo/conditioner & body wash which I enjoyed using.