Stark realisation - not a good one.
I was talking to one of my sisters on MSN the other day about out labours and how long we were in hospital and the like. She has precipitate labours so she has to stay in hospital longer than the norm as they are somewhat risky. Now other than my PPH, I tend to think of myself as generally healthy, so it really shocked me when my sister piped up and said "Well you were high risk for the PPH anyway".
I couldnt see it.
She mentioned things like the previous number of kids, time in labour - which really I always took as a sign of health because I have strong membranes and they don't break by themselves. Always need to be broken for me and I prefer to keep them in tact until 8cms because it is much less painful while the membranes are in tact and that last 2cms only takes about 5 minutes.
But I have been wandering around here, posting replies, sharing experiences and it has really hit home that all these little things, that I just thought of individually as little things and still meant I was generally healthy actually add up to a lot. It is a whole lot.
I knew I should have listened to my head when it told me that I really shouldn't have another. :( I just cant believe I have been walking to haphazardly through this and even my last couple of pregnancies like I am bullet proof. No wonder my husband stresses and fusses over me so much.
I am really feeling quite the fool right now. Might talk to DH in the morning about ensuring I see a doctor and get all my tests that I put off because of the holiday caught up by the end of the week. :(