First WW meeting - I hated it!

So I was all fired up, went to my very first ever WW meeting this morning and I hated it. I cried all the way home.

I don't know if my expectations were unrealistic? But honestly, I felt like the daggy new kid at school... no-one talked to me... it seemed to me that the leader ran through the spiel quite mechanically, with a very cursory "any question, oh none?" at the end. I felt overwhelmed by the pile of leaflets and the oh go do the quiz, work out your points then look up the foods. It doesn't help that I have a lot of dietary restrictions so can't follow the menu plan straight up. Then she told a story to the group about how when she joined with her 6 m.o. son it didn't work so she got hubby to help & went on Saturdays instead... seemed a bit pointed at me with my nearly 5 m.o. son? Or am I being paranoid? but if she was trying to make a point, I guess I felt there were nicer ways she could have done it.

But I'm just so discouraged, I'm feeling so sad & upset which is not like me. Dunno hormonal, overtired or whatever... but I don't know what to do. Do I try find a different meeting? Try doing it online? I can't do anything that involves "shakes, bars, pre-prepared food"... so I thought the points thingo would be good. But I don't have heaps of time atm... so the thought of sitting down on my own & plowing through it all trying to work out what I should eat is a bit daunting. Arrrggh :wall:

Awwwww hun that's no good :( Wonder what she meant by 6mo and didn't work out - huh?? what getting to meetings too hard or something? PPl prob didn't talk to you cos they were wondeering what you were doing there cos u look too spunky to be worried about losing weight hehehehehe.

I know with your diet you have prob done it - but perhaps spend the money on a few dietician visits again instead to devise some good eating regimes - and then line up a trusted friend/relation to weigh in to once a week - and do your cms yourself also so if no grams come off, the cms still do.

Or, try ringing WW national line and talk to someone about your expectations - my understanding is that they are not there to make an eating plan up for you - just to give you the info and little bits of one to one - i said little bits - and a weekly weigh in and thats all .....???

Hi belfie,
I have attended WW quite a few times and have had lots of different leaders - some fantastic, some terrible/boring etc... I think with anything you need to be able to 'connect' with the leader/have inspiration from them and sounds like this leader is not the one for you. Could you look at another day/time/location and try to find a leader that you connect with?
BTW - Love your comment Sami about belfie being too spunky!

Aw :hug:

I have been there done that too sweets - you could try another meeting, sometimes a different leader can make all the difference.

I would suggest giving online a go, but it sounds like you are after a bit more IRL support?

All the little booklets can be a bit overwhelming - just read the 'week one' one through & it should explain everything pretty simply for you. I too couldn't follow the menu plans to the letter, being vego, but it really isn't that hard to substitute something you can have for what you can't.

When I had a cruddy leader & felt I didn't "fit in" with the group, I'd just weigh & run but again that doesn't sound like the best soloution for you. If you are after something more personalised/guided then I totally agree with Sam, perhaps a dieticain or nutritionist could work with you to find a suitable diet plan?

Good luck!

Thanks for the replies :grouphug:

SamiH - oh hun now u made me larf!!! Thanks, I needed a grin.

Julia - I think that's a great point, there was another meeting on Mon nights I was looking at. I'm thinking I'll ring them and see if it's the same leader or not.

QueenMab - firstly, your name makes me wish I was QueenBelfie lol.. love it! Secondly thanks, I think I might try one more meeting once I feel braver.

In regards to a dietician, I guess I just feel I've done dieticians to death in years gone by (when getting diagnosed with my malabsorption issue)... so i do know the technical info about my diet... but it's more about the habit change. Like anyone, I can still make healthy choices or bad choices... and I definitely want the emotional support most of all. I guess years ago when I had to change my diet a LOT, I felt the dieticians gave very little emotional support. Plus over the years I've sometimes used my restrictions to justify bad choices... for e.g. oh there's a gluten free, fructose friendly danish - I haven't had one for 7 years, I'd better have it. Or I go to someone's place and they've gone out of their way to provide something I can eat, so I don't feel I can turn it down.

So the problem is that some of my problems are very unique to my situation, but then I figure everyone has their own challenges. I supposed I had thought it woudl be a bit like the AA meetings you see depicted in the movies - we'd all get a chance to talk about how we were going/why we were there/what worked for us... and I could see what others found useful. And certainly the meeting was nothing like that... so I might just have wrong expectations, but also the leader just did NOT inspire me. I didn't feel welcomed or encouraged whatsoever and that was something I really wanted - and at the end of the day, whatever I do has gotta work for me!

I've decided I'm gonna leave it for a week as I have some other priorities i have to do.. then maybe try another meeting or go online. And in the interim, I've just cut out dairy (for DS's eczema) which I'm happy to do on my own & I'll see how I go with that as a start. I'm feeling much calmer about it all today and more constructive... it's onward & upward hey. And at least I'm learning what works for me. Just wish that learning wasn't so bl**dy painful sometimes!!! Oh well, nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Thanks again lovely ladies. And if you think of anything that you think could work, let me know :).

I am sorry to hear that you had a yuck experience at WW. Most leaders are excellent and a few are off putting. Each meeting you will be weighed then sit in the group and listen to the leader. There isn't really any input from the class or discussion time. I find getting there early allows time for a chat with aperson near you. I think most people are shy and keep to themselves at WW but I always ask people "Did you have a good week?" or What plan are you on? etc to get them talking. Doing this, I have a few who I talk to now each week and sit near. Other mums with bubs are great for sharing with. I didn't follow the plans they set. I just ate lots of low point stuff and wrote it all down so tallied up points at the end of the day. The online forums are good for checking the points or support etc. The other good thing to do is figure out how to calculate points off the nutrition panel on packaged food. They give you a little guide to this in week 2 or 3 I think. I also weighed my food to stay within portions and even now I still measure out 3/4 cup of cooked rice! Give it a go for about a month and re-evaulate after that. You will prob find that by counting your points and going for a couple of walks each week you will easily lose .5 to 1 kilo each week in the first few weeks which is really encouraging. Best of luck.

I was going to suggest trying a meeting with a different leader too, it can make a huge difference! Alo you might find that the people wo attend different meetings are morinyour age group as well which can really help :)

double post - not showing properly.

KatieRabbit - thanks for your response, and it's really good to hear what meetings are usually like. I think I definitely had the wrong idea about how they run (shall I blame the movies for that? lol).

Rayray - I think you're definitely right about meeting people in my age group. The one girl who was in my age group just kept looking at my bub and muttering "oh they're lovely until they can walk & talk!" Needless to say that wasn't very cheering either!

So anyway, I've started doing WW online. I'm on my 3rd day and I really like the online tool to calculate my points... it's taking a bit of time to get my head around it as I don't eat many "standard" foods so to speak, but I'm loading my foods in as I go which is great. So even though I thought I wanted emotional support, at the moment just the calculation/points side of it is really helpful and I'm definitely thinking about what I eat differently. Thanks again for the support.

Cheers,
Belfie

Belfie, I think once you get your head around HOW WW works, the meetings will feel less overwhelming for you. I have tried WW online, and while it's great, I found that I lost motivation after a couple of weeks. Turning up to meetings however, worked really well for me. I love WW because it is all about forming new, healthier, lifetime habits.

Good luck :D

Hi Belfie, how is the online WW going?
I have just joined online and it seems ok so far but it's early days ;)

hey Kelebek - I'm really liking the online WW! I found I was losing very steadily (about .5kg a week) but then my DH did his back, and my tracking all went out the window cos I just didn't have time. So saying, I felt that I still continued to eat better, as I'd gotten into the habit. I'm just trying to get back into some better tracking now, as the weight loss did start to decrease, the longer it was that i hadn't tracked my food. How are you finding it so far?

Janie - atm I still don't feel like I need the meetings - I just like the neatness of tracking the points for the food. But I guess time will tell how well I can continue without the meetings. Plus not only did DH's back go, but someone ran into my car, so being able to do something from home was really my only option anyway!

Its hard to put yourself out there and then be felt like the outer like that.
Its such a shame.
I have a friend who is doing WW and she enjoys it, she too goes on her own but doesnt have any younger kids and just sorta gets in and gets out and does her own thing.
She gave me all her old books so that I can do it from home without haveing to pay and it is quiet overwhelming with all the looking up that is involved.
Its tough but it will be worth it in the end.

Belfie, I used to be a WW leader and even I would run a mile from a meeting like that! When we had a new person join, after they weighed in I would ask if they minded staying behind a few minutes to give them a run through on the program and how it worked. If they didn't that was fine, but I always made the effort to help them as it is really bewildering at first when you have to put a point value to everything you eat. The thing with meetings though is back when I did it (so not sure if the leaders still have to do it the same) we had to follow a schedule for that weeks topic - anywhere you went all meetings were about the same thing and you had a folder with all the years worth of meeting stuff in it so it was all preprared and scripted, so it sounds like that leader was just following it to a T ;) , whereas I never did ROFL. I would always get everyone to just sit and we'd just chat about how our week was, shared in the excitement of losses and helped boost those who had a gain with positive thoughts etc and it was lovely and I think more motivating as it was like a debrief of how you were going. Some of the meeting topics were terrible if you stuck to it and felt too rigid and just plain cold kwim? But it's great to hear you are enjoying the online program.

i really did not like my WW leader, i always felt insecure around her , esp when i gained 200gms in the 1st week , she made me email my points to her each day, as i had unlimited i just did it all onliine and sent it to her , but really i had drunk about 750 mls of water before a meeting , i did pee before but its musnt have all come out .. kwim .. and it didnt help that the meeting was at 5:30 pm .. when we are all heavier at the end of the day anyway !! she made me feel like $hit and stupid !
i just followed the program and never talked to anyone at the meetings ,im now a lifetime member , so im am soooo relieved i dont have to go each week , coz i dont track any more , im scared she will find out and scare me in to emailing her again :hide:

the online is great , i really liked it !!

OMG Lea, your leader sounds horrible!!!!! I would change groups and find someone more supportive.