all alone

Hi ladies,

its been a long time since i posted. Since my first pregnancy (healthy baby girl nov 07). I feel silly posting this because i am very lucky to have a beautiful girl, and many of you haven't been as blessed.

I fell pregnant late last year, had a scan and found out we were 10 weeks. Soooo excited, but i was constantly spotting, so we didn't want to tell anyone just to be sure. After christmas we had a miscarrage... it was horrible. Because we didn't tell anyone, no one even knew we lost the baby.

Sounds silly but i actually regret not telling anyone. i wish i did, so i could get cuddles and have other people to talk to. Instead i feel like i'm moarning alone, and no one even knows i'm moarning...

just wanted to share my story.

love tellytubby

I'm so sorry for your loss :hug:. Please don't feel silly for posting about it, that's what BB is here for. I hope BB can become a source of comfort for you.

Take care :hug:.

Aww sweetie! :comfort: I'm so sorry. Don't feel silly, it was a baby and that's all that matters. It doesn't matter if it was your first or subsequent, it was your baby and your hurting. It's not too late to tell your closest friends! I'm sure they'll comfort you, forgetting that it happened a small while ago, because it's still upsetting you. But it doesn't go away, so I don't see why they wouldn't support you for many months to come. BB and the members on here are very helpful and comforting & will help you get through it (: TC :hug:

I am so so sorry for your loss. It is defnitely to heartbreaking to be going through alone.
I think you should tell someone close to you so at least you can grieve somewhat openly. There is no reason to hide it just as you wouldn't "hide" the passing of any other loved one. Just becuase your friends and family didn't know you had a baby, doesn't mean you didn't nor lessen your need to grieve properly. It will just keep eating away at you darl.... you have to let it out!
Sorry, just my opinion but I have gone through it all to many times. Taking to your DH is defnitely not enough.

Sorry to hear of your loss :hug:

You arent alone here.

Sending you lots of strength :hug:

Thanks ladies. I find it even nice knowing you guys are all here for me.
I was so glad i found bellybellly when i had my little girl, all of the advice and support - but now i'm even more glad. its nice knowing there are other women to talk to, and i appreciate all of the kind words.

I told one of my best friends last night, but it wasn't the same. she doesn't have children so i wasn't really open. instead i found myself rushing through the subject and not wanting to discuss it any further.

so thankyou for not making me feel uncomfortable, hearing my story, and sharing your love. its helped more than you could possibly think.

love tellytubby

Oh tellytubby, I'm so sorry hun :hug:. I do know what you mean about not having told anyone as it was still too early, as we waited until 12 weeks to tell our families and a litle longer to tell friends. But even though you haven't told anyone, please open up to the people that are dear to you as they will help you heal hun. You would be surprised and shocked how many people come out of the wood work to tell you about their own losses. When I lost my little boy, I found out so many people I knew had early losses, late losses, and multiple losses. They came out and shared their stories as they wanted to help me through it, and they did. Any kind of loss is usually well hidden, and only shared when someone else is going through it.
Please don't keep it inside, the sooner you let it out and talk to someone, the sooner you can start healing properly. Sending you big hugs and I hope your loved ones will help you with your grieving :comfort:
Beata xxxx

Oh Telly tubby,
I do understand how you feel as i went trhough the same experience.
The only person who knew was my BF and ironically she was the first person I told when our angel died and the last person to remake contact. I told my mum the night we found out on the scan our bean had died. She then told my grandmother and my father and the rest of the fmaily .... Looking back I was angry as I told her not to tell anyone but the amount of support I luckily receieved was a huge blessing. I sort of wish I had told them all to begin with that I was UTD. ( i wanted to keep it a secret till 16wks)
My hubby didn't tell his parents and then I 'found out' that my SIL had M/C shortly after me. HIs famiy were very upset as was I as I had asked god to give our baby ( helathyto them as they had been trying so long to conceive). I was unable to handle them giving support and needed it from them as well and gave in and told them not because i felt i was missing out or wanting the attention but i was in hosp for 3 weeks and was sick of MIL telling me about it but she thinking I was in Hosp for my diabetes ...NOT! so i told them and then upse4t them even further :doh: but they have supported me and i needed that...... Ironically my BF has steered clear of me :( I really needed her to help me through by feeling normal not avoid me :(

I am always here if you need to chat...
Em

its funny isn't it. the people you think would be there for you during these times at those who try to avoid you. Thats like with my BF. I tried to tell her, but it wasn't comfortable. she didn't understand.
I have found comfort in a mothers group i attend. Admittedly at the start i couldn't help but feel like a failure (as i just had my mc 2 mums from the group announced they were expecting), but now that i've opened up - some of them have told me their stories of loss too.

life just isn't fair at times.
but i just keep telling myself it's my body's way of saying that something wasn't right...
i hope we all are blessed with the loving family we want. whether 1 child, or a dozen!

love tellytubby