newly seperated

Hi i'm new here.

My turd of a partner decided he wasnt happy anymore and left me when i was at the end of my pregnancy we also have 2 children previously. He was there for the birth of our third child however.
I feel i don't want to move on and hope he will come back to me. Ha! am I kidding myself?! he says he doesnt love me or has feelings for me anymore. its sooo hard. Especially with a new baby and 2 other children 6 and 4.
He does have the children 2 nights a week when its convenient and picks them up at about 6pm and drops them back at 7:30 the next morning so i still have to take them to school. then on the weekend he has all 3.
You know the one thing that i really hate is why sould I be without my children 3 nights a week and expecially my new baby 1 night a week because he doesnt want to be with me.

Does anyone else have this similar situation I would really like to hear from you.

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Just so you are aware, you can not hand over the kids, having said that you need to carefully consider the consequences of doing that.

unsure what you mean by this......
he is 10 weeks old today yes very stressfull time. especially breastfeeding but at least i still have that

I give him expressed BM which is frozen and also formula. Im having trouble with my milk supply at the momment (obviously!) so im on motilium to increase it. im going to just let him take him for a few hours at a time so i can continue BF him.

Its just a really f*cked situation! Hate it so so much
Of course he has every right to see his children but you know what i mean... why should he get a right when he did this for his happiness and make me feel absolutely horrible and the poor kids

Life is just so unfair!

Laura :hug: I am so sorry you are going through this. With regard to your youngest, the courts recognise the importance of breastfeeding, and you do not have to agree to any arrangement which impacts on bfing. At the moment this clearly is impacting on bfing. I recommend you contact the ABA 24 hour help line. Tell them your situation and ask them about the package the Lactation Resource Centre has for this situation. You should be able to get an outcome where your baby is still able to bf at every feed at this age. GL hun.

I dont need a court order. Yes he is a turd but not a complete a hole! well nearly LOL and will understand about my reasons for BF. I have a friend who was a aba counciller (good spelling there!) and she has been really helpful.
Still is so hard I guess i can get a break from the children but miss them dearly when they are gone especially over night

That sucks Laura. My ex is great with the kids etc, but it still drives me mental that he moved back in with his parents, so now he doesn't have to wash or cook meals or any of the boring stuff....ggrrrrrr.

I wouldn't be letting my 10 wk old off for overnight sleeps yet either, especially if BF. It seems this whole thing is interfering in your milk supply - I don't think anyone would think it was wrong to keep the bubba with you. The BF relationship is too sacred - maybe when baby is 6 months or so?

Laura, i am so sorry you are having to go through this at such an already emotionally draining time with your new bub. i am newly seperated too, however i am the one who decided to end things. Even though im the one who ended it, I still have huge sadness about the seperation and I still miss him terribly at times. i can't imagine the emotion you are feeling, but remember that you are not alone. it is east to feel all alone when your relationship breaks down.

It is a great thing that the kids father still wants a big part of their lives. Just remember that you giving up this time with your kids is a great thing for them in building thier relationship and bond with their dad, particularly cause of the split. Also, look at your child free time positively and start doing things for your self that you haven't done in 7 years. Meet up with childless friends, find a course or an excercise group to make new friends, read a book in peace, watch a whole movie without interruption, sit on the couch all day and not get up for anyone, lay in the bath and listen to the silence, catch up on sleep.

Try to spend as much time as you can around people who you know love you and will boost your self confidence and help you feel positive and happy. i spend lots of time with my sister and my mum and my friend cause I know they all love me unconditionally and they all boost my confidience and remind me that its not the end of the world and i can do this by myself.

Hope i haven't rambled on too much, big hugs