14 y/o DD and anorexia again

My eldest DD is starting to lose weight again. She is 172 1/2cm tall and only weighs 48kg. She is constantly tired but has insomnia. Also it is like a switch has been flicked and she is all sullen and moody as well (more than usual lol). We are seeing a dietician, who she listens to and then still doesn't eat. Have found her lunches in the bin. She also doesn't want to eat breakfast but I am pushing her on that one. This is getting me really worried again. She was first diagnosed at 9 with anorexia and 11 with bulimia. We have done the counselling bit and it works for a while but not all the time. There doesn't seem to be any trigger that I can look out for. Just one morning she wakes up and is not hungry anymore. Any one else have this happening and what have you guys done about it??? Please really need advice.

I wish I could give you advice as I know it must be so awful and heartbreaking to see your daughter going through this. :hug: I hope that someone can come in and give you some advice. It sounds like yuou are already trying many things.

Are you close to any of her friends that you could talk to?

Oh hugs to you and your DD. I have no advice just wanted to post support and hope that your DD can work through this. GL

Thanks jess and alibaby. Alibaby, she does have friends that know about it and are on her too but it is not making any difference. Her dietician has told her that if she doesn't start to put on weight soon then she is going to be hospitalised. AAARRRRGGGGHHHH this is what started this bout (I think). She was in hospital at the end of last term for abdominal pain and they put her on a liquid diet. Since then she has been off all food. I'm really struggling to get her to eat. I make sure that she has sustagen and I have put in a call to her year advisor at school to see if she can come home for lunch, so I can see what she is eating. I just have to hope that she doesn't throw it up on the way back to school.

All hugs are welcome : S

That is great that her friends are onto it as well. The more support she has the better. Does she drink the sustagen that you give her? Something that may be even better is protein and whey powders to make shakes with. It is just whether she will drink it or not.

Alibaby - the dietician recommended the sustagen as it is also a meal replacement (they give it to old folks in homes) but in conjunction with a meal. She loves the sustagen but refuses to eat anything. Is getting me down.

Kim, I don't have any experience either. I wanted to let you know that I think you are doing great, with the bringing her home for lunch and seeing the dietitian and the councelling.
I am not sure what else you can do, given that eating is such a personal choice.
More hugs coming your way :hug: :hug: All the best to you and your DD. It must be such a difficult thing to have to go through.

Hugs hun, good luck with getting her to eat sorry I dont have any ideas, just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you.

You must be worn away with worry. :hug: Can you maybe go back to your GP and find out whether there are any more resources available - I'm thinking of a multi-pronged approach. Is there a centre that offers an intensive therapy involving a number of modalities at once? Or maybe it's worth talking to other families or finding out if there are any less conventional therapies like acupuncture, psycho-therapy, or rebirthing that may have been found to be effective?

Kim,

I want you to know that I am sending you huge hugs. I can't reply tonight as I am about to jump off the computer but I want you to know that I will PM you ASAP tomorrow morning. I was diagnosed with anorexia at 13yo, so I know what being on the other side is like and would like to share some things with you if that is ok? I think it will help you help your daughter but let me know if that is not ok. :hug: :hug: :hug:

:hug: Since she was diagnosed, what sort of professionals has she seen? In my opinion, a counsellor and a dietician aren't enough, she should be seeing a psychologist and more importantly, a psychiatrist. Depression and eating disorders go hand in hand and the depression exhacerbates the eating problems. Did she begin puberty early? The reason I ask is that girls who begin puberty earlier than their peers are more likely to develop eating disorders. Also, if she did, that could indicate part of the problem is chemical. A psychologist might want to try Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

I don't have any advice but wanted to send you and your DD some huge huge :hug:

Hi Kim,

I agree with Neenee - she needs clinical support from a psychologist who specialises in eating disorders. You can use the "Find a Psychologist" search engine at The Australian Psychological Society (Australian Psychological Society : Find a Psychologist) . A psychiatrist would also be advised, as they can assist with hospitalisation if it is required. Be prepared to try a few out, as finding a good "fit" is really important.

Having said this, your daughter may still not want to talk to these people. Some organisations run live in or day programs for teenagers with eating disorders. I don't know where you live, but in Melbourne there is The Butterfly Foundation (run by Southern Health) and a specialised unit at The Albert Road Clinic (South Melbourne - private psychiatric hospital). There is also the Bronte Centre at St Vincent's Hospital. Your daughter may feel better talking to other young people in her situation.

If your daughter is still unwilling to talk with these people, and unwilling to change her behaviour using Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, finding a therapist who uses Acceptance and Commitment Therapy may help. This therapeutic intervention emphasises focusing on what the client (ie your daughter) feels needs to change. I know a GP who worked with a young girl much like your daughter who didn't want to change her eating, but he managed to "connect" with her desire to improve her family and peer relationships (which was a 'side door entry' to the eating disorder, as opposed to the 'front door entry' most people took with her). The GP has his own website, Home | ACT Mindfully | Acceptance & Commitment Therapy Training which details the therapy and lists therapists.

This is really hard, for all of you. I would advise asking any of these people/agencies about support for you and your family, as well as your daughter. The treatment for anorexia often involves family therapy, since eating disorders affect the whole family. Good luck with this, and I hope I've been remotely helpful.
Faith

Thanks ladies, your opinions are welcomed. Neenee and Faith - the counsellor that I was talking about is part of the kaleidascope health system up here in Newcastle and was a psychiatrist. She was an eating disorder specialist so if we need to go back then she is the best one. Sarah was not depressed and she couldn't really find any trigger either. Sarah was normal in every other way but just didn't want to eat. If needed we will see her again and let her dig deeper (if she can and if there is anything there)

Leasha that would be good. I haven't really had that experience so some knowledge from someone who has had it would be appreciated.

I am still waiting to hear from her year advisor but I will inform him as well so the school is aware of her problem.

Kim, this may not be the option you want to hear, but it sounds to me like a cry for attention. That's why I stopped eating for four years - I just wanted my parents to notice something, anything about me. Of course they did (just not the fact that I didn't eat so that was a waste of time), I just felt they didn't, you know what teenagers are like! She's not depressed and she's normal apart from not eating... it sounds like she just wants more attention and doesn't know how to ask for it.

So her mood is fairly stable? That's quite strange IMO as the starvation can cause hormonal and chemical disturbance that usually affects moods.

Sarah was 9 and 11 when she saw the counsellor. She hasn't been yet this time and yes she is moody but it is hard to tell if it is puberty or the anorexia. She is tired all the time but has insomnia. In a space of minutes she can be angry, upset, happy, paranoid, etc. It's hard to work out how to talk to her sometimes.

Rosehip fairy - I'm sure she would tell you that she gets enough attention lol. We have talked about this and as far as she is concerned she reckons she has more than she wants lol. She is currently grounded for not coming home from school until 5pm. She didn't phone or txt me to let me know where she was and when she did turn up she was rude, so there went her birthday party and a big grounding. I asked her how long was I expected to wait until i called the police to report her missing. She looks older than 14 and we get some hoons around here from a neighbouring suburb. She has apologised but just to make a point we are letting the grounding stand.

I'm hoping that the next time we see the dietician that she has put on weight and we have turned the corner. If not then I will suggest that we go and see the counsellor again and see what she says

Kim what a tough situation you are in, i hope you can get the answers and support your daughter needs. I dont really have any advice as i haven't had anything to do with anorexia as such.
Ikwym about the moods etc and not knowing if its just puberty, my dd is almost 13 and she can be all of the moods you discussed.

:hug: to you and i hope you find a solution soon.