Any tips for longer day sleeps. Help needed

Hi Guys

We are having a few problems with DS day sleeps. He cant seem to sleep for longer than 20-40 minutes during the day. His night sleeps are pretty good, goes down at 7-8pm, dream feed about 10-11 awake at 4-5am for a feed and back to sleep till 7-9am.

Is he having trouble sleeping during the day because of the good night sleep? Has anyone got any tips for making that day sleep longer? I am starting to try and have him self settle as he is coming to that age where sleep associations start being formed (so im told) and so I want to do the right thing but im out of ideas.

Pls help!

Sounds like you are on the right track to me and doing a great job with your little boy. Lovely night time pattern there! RE day sleeps. There isn't a way of actually getting them to sleep longer that I know of, but what I do know is that at this age, sleep patterns do change (in fact they changed every few eeks for me up till about 9-10 months) and also, having 40 minute sleep cycles is very normal and common. It is up to you if you want to start self settling but I think there is plenty of time for that and he may still want/need your help to get to sleep. What happens when he wakes after the 20-40 mins? Do you pick him up straight away? I am only thinking that at 20 mins he may be may making 'awake' noises but isn't awake, just stirring. Or perhaps he is crying loudly? Let us know what he does. Keep up your terrific work with your little man.

I have been a bit more concious of leaving him a little while to see if he goes back to sleep after he wakes as I do think that I sometimes pick him up a bit quickly. On occasions he does go back to sleep for a bit longer but that is rare. I have also tried sneaking in and patting or rocking him as he starts to make those awake noises but that doesn't really work as he knows that I am there and wants to be picked up.

If he only has these 20-40 minute sleep cycles would it be reasonable to expect that he would need to go for another sleep after an hour or so of awake time??

My now 8 month old was only ever a cat-napper (still is!) so I can't help you with that I'm afraid. One thing you could try is for a couple of days keep an eye on how long he is sleeping so you can get a better idea of the lenght of his sleep cycle. Then, about 10 mins before you know he will wake up, sit down outside his room - as soon as he moves even the slightest bit, so well before he is actually going to wake up, go in quietly and pat/sshh him until he settles down again, this should hopefully get him going thru to another sleep cycle - apparently you only need to do it for a week and then he should be doing it on his own - however, this didn't work for DD - if I didn't go in, she would wake.

as to learning to self settle - I was told habits did't really form until 12 weeks or so, so you've got a bit of time before you have to worry about this. (although don't leave it until 8 months like me coz we're having big problems with this now! lol)

Thanks for the idea SammyRo, ill give it a go tomorrow and see how he goes. DS is 12 weeks on Wed so I have one more day of being slack :doh:

DS had a better day with day sleeps today, managed one sleep of nearly two hours :dance: but now he is fighting his night sleep which was usually his easy to settle sleep :wall:If its not one thing its another. Oh well at least it got me out of watching DH basketball game tonight :dance: bub is much too unsettled to go out!

Isabel - the only advice I can give is what worked with my DS. We wrapped him for his sleeps as he would startle and throw his hands around, and wake himself up. And we played soft music in his room to block out any outside noises. We also have a music box that plays a tune for either 5 or 10 mins, so if he woke I put that on and he would tend to go back off to sleep. Otherwise it was a good indication of how long he had been awake for if he wasn't back to sleep when the music stopped. My DS probably started sleeping well from about 12 weeks on wards.

Your ticker pic is absolutely gorgeous :)

Thank you, he was very sleepy that day and we managed to take some really cute shots of him.

I have gone back to wrapping as I did find that he was whacking himself in the head. At one stage we stopped wapping as we thought it was making him sleep worse (didn't like being restricted) but he has slept alot better overnight since we started wrapping again.

Mrs Cricket, when did you stop wrapping ds? I was hoping to put him in a sleeping bag around winter time, he will be 5 or 6 months old. Will this be too early? He seems to have better hand control now when he is awake and content but it gets worse as he gets more tired. I have alot of questions dont I!:rolleyes:

5/6 months may or may not be too early for sleeping bag instead of wrapping- it depends on your DS and how he is at that age. Best thing is not to worry about it until he is that age and you will have a much better idea. Some bubs like to be wrapped for months and months and others don't. RE the putting DS back down to sleep after waking from short sleep cycle. I would really watch his tired signs. You may/may not be able to pick them- clenched fist, eye rubbing, red eyes, yawn, grizzly, staring into space etc. So once you have picked him up, keep a close eye on him and as soon as you see a tired sign, get him back to sleep as fast as you can or else you end up with an overtired bub who is much harder to get off to sleep. I personally think it is more important to get bub off to sleep to prevent overtiredness than to get him to self settle which may take longer. This goes for this age only, I am not talking about down the track.

Hey there. Gosh that age seems so long ago now. But anyway sleep cycles are about 45 mins or so at that age. Young bubs have many shorter day sleeps. They get less frequent yet longer as they get older. Finally they drop to one long one during the day then none.
Most importantly your baby is very normal and doing exactly the right thing. And wow on the night sleeps they are awesome. My question to you is: do you want to change how your baby is sleeping during the day because it is somehow a problem for you or unhealthy for him. Or do you want to change it because someone told you how it 'should' or 'shouldn't' be. Try and get your hands on Pinky McKays Sleeping Like a Baby as it helps put things into perspective. For some reason sleeping is the benchmark of parenting for many people and they push that on others. Sleeping is just sleeping - no more no less. Your babies sleep pattern is totally normal. Babies confident in their parents love and attention learn to sleep naturally a lot later. I hope this helps. You sound like a great mum.

Isabel - we stopped wrapping Tom around about 6 months. It was a gradual process - we first unwrapped one arm for a few days, then both but still wrapped his body and then eventually stopped wrapping all together. We did have to 'wean' him off the wrap but then transfered him to a sleep bag which he still likes to be in now - even on 40 degree days in summer :lol:. But he is happy and sleeps well so I don't mind!

Feel free to ask as many questions as you like! I know that sleep can be one of the most confusing things. I will try to look through my diaries and see what routine I did at that age. I used to write everything down to keep track of things (obsessive I know!) and fell into a pretty good routine which made it easier to plan our day etc. I know not everyone likes routine but it seemed to work for us.

** The Ngala website has a pretty good section on sleep. It has some good tips for picking on tired signs and a aprroximate time that babies will stay awake for depending on their age. I just looked up in my diaires and T was staying awake for around about an hour / 1 and a half between sleeps at this age.

Thanks for your advice ladies re: the sleeping bag. I guess ill just have to see what happens closer to the time. DS tends to get out of his wraps at night so im keen to get him into the sleeping bag by winter for this reason but I guess ill have to see if he is ready.

krysalyss, Im happy to hear that the shorth sleep cycles are normal for bubs L age. I honestly thought he should be sleeping longer. The day sleeps are a concern to me due to DS behaviour. I am happy with what he is happy with and I am happy at this stage to stay at home if he needs. I figure that he will only be this young for a short time. He actually sleeps really well in the pram when I am out and about, better than at home in the cot on some occasions, so getting my bits and pieces done is not an issue. The last few weeks he has become very grumpy during the day to the point that if he is not sleeping he is bascically crying. This concerns me and last week for two days he went back to newborn behaviour and basically ate and slept. After a couple days of this he was in a better mood and it seemed that the behaviour was due to being tired. He has since gone back to these small sleeps and slowly the grumpiness is coming back. I actually have the book that you suggested and will get back to reading it. I actually have been reading save our sleep due to the routines in it. I am the type of person who likes something tangible so having a routine written down was appealing to me but I have since realised that DS is not the type of day sleeper that this routine will work for. Bit of a waste of money :rolleyes: His night sleeps were completely his own doing which needless to say I am thrilled with!

mrscricket thank you for the suggestion of the website, i will definately have a look at it as I think I need to get on top of those tired signs. T seems to have had the same awake time as L at the moment so I guess its just an age thing. DS is coming up to 12 weeks now so hopefully I can get on top of it and we will all be alot happier! How old was T when he started to have more awake time between sleeps?

Hi Isabel,

My DS has always been a catnapper too, and then one who had to scream for at least 20 minutes before falling asleep whether he was in his bassinet, pram or sling. I also had a lot of trouble reading his tired signs as they were few and far between and basically too late. I just worked around him; stuck to a loose routine of feed, play, sleep. He hardly ever slept for longer than 40 minutes at a time until he reached 9 months (sorry, not what you want to hear). His night sleeps were great though.

I found when I just resigned to the fact I wasn't going to change his sleeping pattern and just worked around his needs, we were both happier and able to enjoy the awake time. It might be worthwile trying to put him down for his sleeps slightly earlier, as he could be a bub who shows his tired signs when they are actually overtired (as my DS did). All the best!