sleep ZzzZzz HeLp!!!

Hi everyone, I'm new to the forums and not too sure how this all works but would love some advice...
I have an 11 month old son and every night ends up sleeping in bed with me!
I will give you an outline of his daily routine...
We are up at about 7-8am and has breakfast, stays up for about an hour or 2 then goes down (after a breastfeed, dummy, light wrap and rocking) for a sleep for an hour in his cot, but when he wakes I rock him again and he will usually go back to sleep for roughly another hour in my arms.
When he wakes up next its time for lunch and again stays up for roughly 2-3 hours then will have an afternoon sleep where again he will have a breastfeed, dummy, light wrap and rocked to sleep, put in his cot to sleep for about an hour then I will rock him to sleep again and he will sleep for another hour in my arms.
When he wakes its about time for tea, bath and play and stays up about 4-5 hours. At around 8pm its time for a breastfeed,dummy, light wrap and rocked until asleep, and put into his cot. This is where the fun starts....
Now if he goes to sleep and into his cot at 830-9pm then he will wake at least 2 or 3 times before midnight. When he wakes during this time I just put the dummy back in, rock him again and put him back in the cot.
Now I admit I am lazy and this is where the problem is as I know I've created this bad habit, because now after midnight I've had enough of the constant rocking and in and out of the cot so I just put him in with me and here he will stay until morning. But even with being in bed with me he still wakes and is on and off the boob all night, so I still don't get all that much sleep.
A good night is when he wakes maybe twice but other nights he'll wake more often and be very restless.
I spoke with a child health nurse who advised me just to wrap him and that giving him a rock was ok and put him in his cot. I did try this and it made no difference. I also bought a book on sleeping babies. I tried the suggestions with no luck just a lot of crying and a very upset little boy who became very clingy. I don't want to go through that again, I don't want him to have to cry to go to sleep.
So having said all this if anyone has any good advice I am willing to give it a go as he needs to sleep in his cot not with his mum, he needs to be able to go to sleep without all the aides that I currently use to get him asleep and we both need sleep - decent sleep. I cant tell you all how frustrated and snappy I get that my 2 older children and husband suffer so much.
So please help.
Thanks to all who reply....coconut xx

Welcome coconut! I can understand your dilemma and frustration with your DS. My advice- I would really have a look at his day sleeps and awake time as I think these really impact night sleeps. You have a few things to consider:
you need your sleep
your don't want DS to cry to sleep (neither would I)
DS won't sleep in his cot on his own

Do you want to continue using the dummy?
Do you want him feeding regularly through the night?

What are his solids and breastfeeds like during the day?
From what you are saying, I think that you need to review his day sleeps. Perhaps try cutting the down to two will help him sleep better at night. As a general guide, babies starting having one sleep a day from around 12 months. I think your DS is getting too much sleep during the day so come night time he is not tired enough to stay asleep. The first few days will be hard because he will not be getting enough sleep either night or day but eventually he should start sleeping better at night. Once you have gotten to this point, then address how he gets to sleep and how you will get him back to sleep should he awaken. It is too much to tackle everything at once. Try putting him down for a sleep at say 3 hours after he wakes for the day then another one after lunch, but no later than 3pm. He should be awake from a second nap by this time and then work on getting him to bed to be asleep by 7pm. It will be hard extending out his wake time but if you can get out of the house I find it is easier to keep them awake! Try this then work on sleeping without aides. This can be a long process but can be done with perserverance. Let us know how you get on.

I am really not going to be able to help you as what you desribed was exactly how my ds routine was when he was that age now he is almost 2 he still wakes at least twice during the night for a bottle....I used to rock him in my arms but moved to rocking him while in the cot instead don't know if you have a cot with wheels on though but i found it great as he would settle to sleep in his cot and he was still getting the rocking and it seemed to help him sleep longer and when he did wake he was easier to get to sleep or would self settle as he was wondering where i had gone..they say that the way a baby falls asleep is the way the expect to wake up..so if yo rock him in your arms the after an hour he will wake crying wondering where you went and why you are not rocking him anymore so will cry until he gets it which is obviuosly why he will fall back asleep for another hour after you rock him the second time...

I have no idea if i have made any sense as it is way past my bedtime but as usual have lost all track of time being on here...hope you get some good advice...I just hated hearing my kids cry so couold never do the conrol crying thing

Have you tried the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? Its got some gentle ways (ie no tears) to change sleep associations so that eventually they can go in their cot awake. As Katie Rabbit said, it does take perserverance.I also agree with bringing the bedtime froward to 7. DD was going to bed around 8, and waking up frequently at night and at least twice before midnight, we've moved it to 7, and generally, she will not wake up until 1. To settle her for the evening, we have also started a proper bedtime routine (although timing is flexible) so she has dinner 5.30-6, then a bath, and then by 6.30 we go into her room, have a feed, some quiet play, a couple of stories with lights dimmed, and soft music, she then happily goes into her cot and may play a bit more, I let her stand up for a bit, then slowly keep lying her down, and repeating our key words (lie down, night night, sleepy time) while sshing and patting the mattress as well. She will eventually lie down and pick up a dummy (she doesn't suck on them, just waves them around and pulls them in and out of her mouth) and then very slowly, she will calm down and just nod off with no tears. In the night, generally, my husband can go in and resettle by giving a quick cuddle and then lying down and patting the mattress again with the music playing quietly. We set a limit that no feed before 2am as its only ever a comfort suck before then. It did take a few nights of grizzly crying (not full on crying though, more a protest thing because it was different) but having the routine and quiet time I think really helps (she is a full-on active, non stop bubba during the day). With this, on the odd occasion, like last night, that she might wake before midnight, a quick pat and ssh and she's asleep again.
hth, its tiring to make the change as sometimes at night it can take up to an hour to resettle, and I used to just give a quick breastfeed to sleep so i could be back in bed again within 10 mins, but although it can take an hour, its not as frequent as when i was comfort feeding her so i suppose i get a better quality of sleep.
Now, my only problem is getting her to sleep past 5 without bringing her into our bed :wall: