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My ds has just turned 1 and I'm 13 weeks pregnant. I have been trying to think of ways to prepare ds for a new baby. So far I haven't thought of anything that would help. Everything I read seems to be aimed at much older siblings. I'm really worried how ds is going to cope.
DD1 was 25 months and DD2 was 14 months when DS came.
For me i began telling them from day 1 that they are going to have a new baby sister or brother, once we knew the gender i began saying baby brother. They were a bit young to understand what have a borther ment, but DD1 was always telling people she was geting a baby 'brudda' like her 'sissy'....LOL
I always involved them in clothes shopping, buying his nrsery things, making his cradle etc.
I tried explaining that once bubby comes home they have to be big sister helpers and help mummy feed, bath, dress, change bubbys nappies.
They both got little gifts because they were going to be sisters and have to look after their brother like their baby dolls.
Both are awesome helpers now...and have settled in with DS well!
Even if you think your DS is to young to understand, tell him about your baby like he is older....the more you say now, i think he will understand later. It worked for me to a degree and im greatful for doing it even if they looked at me silly before DS came!
My #2 and #3 are 19 months apart....so i was around 11-12 wks when DD#2 turned 1. TBH it probably didnt click to her till the very, very last stages of pregnancy. I didnt even bother telling her till i was 38wks - i didnt see the point, i knew she wouldnt understand, i knew 2 wks is a lifetime to a 19mth old....so why confuse her.....
I have found at the 18-24mth mark life revolves around them - its all about them. Whilst the novelyt of a new baby will be there, i found with DD#2 that novelty soon wore off when she realise dthe baby didnt speak, walk or talk ........as long as her needs were met (i.e cuddles, play time with mummy and daddy etc) then i thought she coped really well. She also had a 3yr old sibling to entertain her, which defn helped.
Good luck....ive got it again end may - my DD#3 will be 20months and i will have a newborn. If i pointed to my tummy now and said 'baby' i think it would just go thru one ear and out the other.....so will wait till nearer the EDD.....
Jackson was 26 months when Leo was born, so approx 16 months when we convieved. He didn't really make the connection that we were going to have a baby, but he would point to my tummy and say baby, so he knew there was some connection with my tummy and a baby. We named DS#2 early on, so we would refer the the baby as Leo instead of the baby and then when Jackson came to meet Leo in the hospital it was like a lightbulb went on and he was thinking "Oh, so this is Leo!" I think that helped, he was very sweet and kept forcing himself away from the fire engine that "Leo had bought him" to give him little kisses.
Thanks Kim - We have been telling him he is going to have a baby brother or sister, he doesn't pay much attention to it but when we say there is a baby in mummy's tummy he bites me on the tummy hard or tries to and gets pretty mad. I don't understand why.
Thanks mbear - I will remember that.
Thanks min - Good idea. We will name him or her once we find out the sex.
DS was 19 months when DD was born. He was aware of his cousin who was born 6 months earlier and knew *A* was a baby. He adores *A* :D He knew there was a baby in my tummy and would point to it and say baby and kiss it as the pregnancy progressed through the third trimester. His cousin visited within an hour of him meeting his baby sister so he could differentiate between *A* and DD - rather than a generic baby or *A* for all infants.
Now - he loves her to death :rolleyes: He kisses her and wants to hold her. He is not jealous and all he wants is his own mummy and daddy time to play blocks, read stories and cuddle.
I know exactly what you mean all the books etc about helping siblings deal with the arrival of a new baby are focused on older children.
My boys are 17 and a half months apart, during the pregnancy I would talk to him about the baby and say where's the baby and he would pat my tummy (and sometimes his own!) when ds2 arrived we had a present for ds1 from the baby for him at home when we came home from the hospital, I think alot of it is trying not to focus all your attention on the new baby so they don't feel left out.
Ds1 also came to visit us in the hospital and when we came home from the hospital ds1 came in and all four of us went home together, I thought it was important that he knew we were all going home together as a family.
I don't think he really comprehended the concept of a baby coming but I think if you involve them with the baby, getting nappies or clothes out, helping with bathing etc and still give them attention they need they are more than happy, ds2 loves his baby brother and has just fitted in perfectly almost as if he was always there.
DD1 was 15 months when we fell pg with DD2. I told her a few times that mummy was going to have a baby but she really didn't give two hoots. As Mbear said at this age life if all about them and the concept is really hard for them to understand. I left talking about the new baby up until I was almost term. I then bought her a Dora DVD and a book that covered the concept of mummy bringing home a new baby. This seemed to work a little bit.
BTW the whole present exchanging biso when the new bub arrives was a complete waist of time. At 2 yo my DD did not value presents as much as attention.
DD1 is now 3 and her new sister is on the way. Only now is DD1 paying any attention to me being pregnant. DD2 I won't even bother, but she seems to love babies more that DD1 so this experience could be different.
I found the best way to help your first child accept a new bub is to give them one on one time, give them an opportunity to talk about the baby without being pushed to. Don't force the new baby on them and always tell your eldest what you are going to do...Mummy is going to feed baby now, give me a hug and kiss before I start!!!
HTH
Thank you Michelle, SweetPea & BecZ. I feel more prepared now. I was so worried how he was going to cope :rolleyes:.