Sleeping Troubles 2 year old

Hi

DS is 2 years old and in the last month he will not fall alseep on his own, he wants DH not me to put him to sleep, he doesnt want me (he yells at me that he doesnt want me), DH has to pat him and stay in his room until he falls alseep, I dont know how this all of a sudden got out of control. Is there anyway we can stop this? Or shall we just continue to do this and will it go away? It can take up to 45 minutes to get him to sleep. Also, he screams if we leave his room when he is still awake.

Now that is at night time.... within the last 7 days since putting him in daycare for 1 day a week, with not much scucess, he wont sleep during the day. When i put him down to sleep and i start to walk away he starts screaming.. and I mean screaming. It is so hard to listen to i get so upset and start crying because I dont know what to do... Is it daycare that has done this, sep anxiety? or is it a part of 2 year old dramas? Is it our fault that he is used to us patting him to sleep.. Does anyone know of any good methods, books, help that we can get or again so i just keep him up during the day and let this pass (if it is a phase)...

I would really appreciate your help..

Of course DH doesnt think its a problem that he has to pat him to sleep and also if he doesnt sleep during the day.. its ok he will sleep at night...

Plus he is having night terrors at the moment.. So all and all SLEEP is not good in our household. And with being 4 months pregnant i want it sorted before next bubba comes along.

Its sending me crazy Girls...

I got the same version of this, started about 18 months and is only getting better SLOWLY now she is 3!

Take it or leave it, this is my experience ;)

Just stay in there with him. 45 mins isn't too bad actually and I really believe the time will get shorter. It IS a security thing, right now and for whatever reason. I didn't recognise this and since I was on my own taking 90 mins to get DD (and 2 others to deal with) to sleep it was getting too much. I tried SO many different things, I needed her to just go to bloody sleep. I also started FT work, and her daycare and I know that exacerbated the problem, it made her cling more when I tried leaving the room too early, I was exhausted.
Actually I have threads in the parenting de-briefing section if you wanna take a look.

I think there is a small sensory issue going, I even saw a psych recently to deal with it. The advice I got there was just to stay in the room until she falls asleep, she NEEDS me to be close to her and there is no way you can talk her out of the way she feels is there?
Some days she will go to sleep fairly quickly but I always reassure her that I will stay with her, that in the night I am in the next room and that I will come to check on her through the night. Beth is a pretty extreme case remember. I wish I hadn't pushed her to disconnect when she needed me but I really didn't know what else to do.

I also learnt that she is dependent on me doing the SAME thing each night and reacting the same way when she carries on like a pork chop. Calm voice, smiles and "it's ok" - no matter what she does. She needs the security of routine and so does your little one - things have changed a liddle bit and daycare can tire them out in a strange way.

I'm pretty sure the patting won't take so long over the next few weeks, soon it will be a quick 5 minutes and everyone will be happy!

GL xoxoxo

We did the patting thing here for ages... Probably for 6-8 months. (But generally for us it was, and still is, me who has to do the putting-to-bed.)
A couple of months ago Natty just decided she would happily go to bed without any patting or anything. Just climbed up like it was the only place she wanted to be.
Now, it hasn't lasted the whole time. There have been a couple of nights recently where I have needed to stay with her before she'd settle. However it's much easier now than it was then.
It's interesting you mention the childcare thing. I have never found putting Natty to bed easy (apart from the last couple of months!) so can't comment on whether or not CC has been an issue here for us. But it possibly has. :dunno:
I'd take Lulu's sterling advice and just go with it. Particularly as it sounds like it isn't an issue for your DH - if he's happy to spend the time patting, then that sounds like your easiest option to me!
We were worried when I got pg about how we're going to go with a newborn and a 2yo that is difficult to get into bed... But I figure, so much can change with kids in such a short space of time. One month DD is happy to go to bed, the next she complains to varying degrees. Who knows how she's going do deal with a new sibling? Can't predict these things. This is one of the areas where I reckon we just need to roll with the punches.

Thanks GIrls for responses, they have been great.

Last night was another bad night and DH took DS into spare bed and slept in there and it seemed to have calmed him down so each night we will just take it as it comes.

Thanks again.