2.5y.o DS not adjsting to new baby... & NOT sleeping

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April 2nd, 2009, 12:49 PM
LucaJack'sMum

2.5y.o DS not adjsting to new baby... & NOT sleeping

DS#1 is having trouble adjusting to the birth of DS#2 (5weeks old) and is not going down to sleep at night without a MASSIVE tantrum.

We have a structured bedtime routine (dinner/bath/quiet time/milk/ 3 x books/kisses/bed) He is good until we get to lights out then he stalls anyway he can- drink/more kisses from Mum/Dad/ toilet/ water... ANYTHING!!!! then the tantrum starts- hysterical screaming for which ever parent is not doing the bedtime. This can last 1 - 1.5 hours and I am just waiting for the neighbours to nock on the door to see who is being murdered!

We have to sit with DS to get him to sleep, he doesnt self settle when going to sleep.

PLease help!!!!
April 2nd, 2009, 12:55 PM
Olive

hun sounds like a few of us are going through the same thing with 2.5yr old toddlers and new babies :hug: i understand just dont have any answers, were having issues too, not as bad but bad enough!
April 2nd, 2009, 01:01 PM
Muffy

i need these answers too!!!
i will be keeping an eye on this thread!!!
April 2nd, 2009, 01:02 PM
Willow

Same thing happened here with our DD who was just over 2.5 when DS arrived. Not so much with going to bed at night, but night waking.

I can't say any one thing worked for us, it was just a matter of time. We let things run their course for a few months (all the while pulling our hair out) and then decided after a few months to get really firm with her sleeping in her own bed (don't have an issue with co-sleeping as such but none of us were sleeping!) and that was that.

Hang in there girls, it's a big adjustment for them and it WILL pass. It lasted a few months here and then things settled right back down and we got our great sleeper back.

In hindsight, we were pretty lucky this was our only hiccup, she was very accepting and welcoming of her brother in every other way...didn't feel lucky at the time though! LOL
April 2nd, 2009, 01:03 PM
Jas

Hmm...Maybe you could put the baby down in his/her room first and get ds to "help" put the baby to bed? Would that make him feel better if he thinks hes not missing out on stuff??

Sorry not there yet...not long to go though!
April 2nd, 2009, 01:20 PM
Arimeh

Yup its hard - I think it was fine for the first few weeks - hell hit around 6 weeks on and then it just got better.

DS still mucks up at bedtime if we give him a nap during the day. Other days if he doesn't have a nap - he is sooooo exhausted he just crashes. We like that, its good.. LOL

No solutions here I'm afraid - but it does get better.
April 3rd, 2009, 03:18 PM
LucaJack'sMum

:

In hindsight, we were pretty lucky this was our only hiccup, she was very accepting and welcoming of her brother in every other way...didn't feel lucky at the time though! LOL

Willow, you make a great point... DS has been very accepting of #2, giving lots of kisses and cuddles which is GREAT!!!!
April 3rd, 2009, 03:20 PM
LucaJack'sMum

:

Yup its hard - I think it was fine for the first few weeks - hell hit around 6 weeks on and then it just got better.

DS still mucks up at bedtime if we give him a nap during the day. Other days if he doesn't have a nap - he is sooooo exhausted he just crashes. We like that, its good.. LOL

No solutions here I'm afraid - but it does get better.

Thanks Arimeh, we have the same situation... if he has no day sleep he is generally better at going down, but i am not ready to give up the day sleep yet!!!! LOL!!!!
April 3rd, 2009, 03:30 PM
Mak

Arggh - such hard work!!!

Similar story here - the baby slept here really well but not Miss 2.5!!! - it is so hard to manage the anxst of the toddler and look after a newborn - let alone yourself.

I had some great advice from a friend - she suggested we create a new bedtime ritual with myself and DD1 (who was ridiculously clingy and quite violent towards DD2 initially). No matter what we had 'special mummy and x time' and we jumped in bed and talked about how much I loved her still and that I wasn't leaving here - this was to try and get her inner dialogue going each time she felt left out and unhappy. The idea was that this 'special time' could then be used to describe times I was dedicating to her when bubs was asleep also. I was sceptical but it really has helped her calm down and be more positive about her new sister.

As time has passed it also has gotten easier though - I think she just needed time to process all the changes....

Take care - it will pass ....