EDD coming up....

Hi,

I'm hoping some of you can share your ideas. The EDD of my angel baby is 19 April and as it gets closer I find myself going backwards emotionally. The closer it gets the worse i get - feeling so angry and sorry for myself, constantly thinking we would be doing this or that by now if things were different.
I had a D&C and the hospital I had it at had an amazing group of older ladies that knit tiny little bonnets and booties and give you there along with a note acknowging the child you lost. I was so grateful for this at it meant my baby was real and gave me something tangible but i haven't been able to look at them since - I'm scared of the emotions that may come out if I do.

Do you think I should do something on the EDD of my baby - like finally get these out and look at them and allow myself to feel everything that involves? Or would this be making things worse? Is there something else I could do instead? Or do you think it would help to organise something totally unrelated to try and 'forget' just to get past that day?

How did you get through it?

:hug: Infinity... i think it will help you if you do something to acknowledge your Little Angles EDD

I light candles for my angels, and DH and i go out for lunch or to the beach (well we used to when the beach was less than 5 hours away) I have let balloons go aswell. It doesnt have to be a big thing- just a moment to recognise the day and your baby and acknowledge your loss.

Its important to feel your emotions and not bottle them up- one day in the next few weeks when you have a good few hours- either by yourself or with DH- pull out the little knitted bonnet and booties out and have a good cry- let those emotions out- and feel your pain. EDD dates are tough times- and you will always have those what if thoughts run through your head. big huge :hug: to you and your Angel xoxox

So sorry for your loss, it is always hard around anniversaries and due dates. You may find on your EDD that you decide to do something special or you may not. I also have a memory box for Emmanuel and found it extremely difficult to look at his special things. In two years I only looked at it twice, I was scared, I didn't want to cry anymore but I overcame that and now I can look at his precious memories and feel joy, joy that he brought to us during my pregnancy, the strength he gave us as a family to grieve and heal. I really encourage you to one day sit down, I found it easier on my own, and look at your babies precious memories, let all your emotions out. I wish you all the best. We are hear for you.

Regards,
Dianne

Hi infinity,
I'm sorry for you loss hun. I can understand your feelings of anxiety and sadness and anger that your baby should be arriving soon. My advice is, acknowledge your baby on their due date, and let them know how much you love them. Let them know how much you were looking forward to their arrival. Take those beautiful booties out and hold them close to your heart. Have a good cry, let it all out hun. You will feel much better, I promise. On my little boy's EDD, I had a BBQ at home with only close family and closest friends, and we each wrote messges of love to him and let them go into the sky. It was the most beautiful and serene moment. I felt like the was going to get them all and read them. I felt so peaceful, and full of love for my baby.
I will be thinking of you on your angel's EDD, I hope the day is filled with love and peace for you.
Beata xxx

Thank-you Starbright, diannescruffy and beata70 - you beautiful wonderful caring ladies!! I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. I'm going to see how I go but I think I'll take the advice each one of you gave to take the time to get the booties and bonnet out, talk to my angel baby and feel whatever comes. I think I've been building up to this anyway. Hopefully I'll find some peace and some hope there too.

Thank-you so much again - you don't know how much your words meant to me.

Oh hun, big hugs :hug: Do what you feel is right for you, and listen to your heart. I felt much the same as you when Joshua's EDD was approaching, it was meant to be the most exciting day of my life. Even though he was only here on earth for 20 weeks, I wanted to acknowledge and celebrate his very short life because I felt blessed that he was here at all.
Take care hun, and know that your little angel is always with you wherever you go, always dancing in your heart.
Beata xxx