continually getting out of bed..

Hi was wondering if anyone can give me any advice..

I have 2 and a half year old twin girls and I am about to tear my hair out..

They have been in their big beds since January...Once they have gone down for the night ( and this happens during the day sleep ) they are forever getting out of bed to " go to the toilet" "I've done a pooh", "I'm thirsty" etc...They sometimes get out of bed up to 20 times for me and Dh to have to put them back..sometimes with a fight..It's like they think it's funny...One of my girls seems to save her pooh for bedtime as an excuse to get out of bed..It has been reducing me to tears the past few days and I have just gotten over a teary as I type this..

We have a scheduled bedtime for them and routine so I'm not sure where we are going wrong or what other strategies we can use..We have a baby due in 9 weeks and I don't think I'm going to be able to handle their antics and a newborn..

Hi there

I'm not sure my advice is going to help - especially since my 19 month old has been reducing me to tears at rest times this past few days :doh:

Have you tried threatening them with closing the door?
What about a new special teddy to take to bed - they can only have it if they stay in bed (new teddy might get scared or something along those lines)
if you have time - can you make a story book for them, with their photos in it, telling what they need to do at sleep time -.

Hope you find a useful strategy soon :)

Hi Jazahmum,

thanks for your suggestions..
I did the close the door thing today..they just kept opening it..
I bribed them with going to the park and a babychino tomorrow if they stayed in bed...

The photo book sounds like a great idea..Might have to sit down and do that.. It's so damn hard when they encourage each other..GGrrrrr

Glad to know I am not alone...Thanks..

I feel so much for you! It really sounds like you are at the end of your tether.

OK, so I will preface what I am going to say by saying that my advice and experience of this comes solely and completely from watching Super Nanny every night whilst trying to feed DS his bedtime bottle. So it could be kind of half-baked- take with as many grains of salt as need be.

What she seems to do is just keep putting the kids back in bed. The first time she will talk to them and explain. The next time its just a short thing, like "its time to go back to bed". Eventually she says nothing at all to them, just puts them back in bed. She just keeps doing this until finally they stay put and fall asleep. In some shows the parents have to do it like 30 times!! Ugh. But eventually it seems to work. It does seem to be slightly older kids she is doing it with, but the principle seems to make sense to me as its similar to what I do with DS when he wakes up because he's crawling around the cot- just keep going in and putting him back down with no eye contact, talking etc so there's no reward to getting it, and eventually he goes back to sleep.

So, if that helps at all, take it fwiw. It looks so kind of easy when she explains it, but I bet IRL its way more complicated!!

Best of luck and big hugs.

Hi Pansy, I know how you feel (well not the twins bit but the rest). We have recently had this same issue with DD and we too have another one due in 10 weeks. We seem to have gotten the better of her but it certainly wasn't without tears and throwing my hands up in despair. Closing the door didn't work for us either as DD just kept opening it. We found persistance payed off..and as frustrating as it is we just had to remain calm and keep putting her back to bed. We got more firm in our voice and facial expressions as we went on and eventually didn't say much just put her back to bed. We also changed her nightly routine slightly which seemed to help. We used to read a book out on the couch and then go down to her room (worked when she was contained in a cot) but since going into her big girls bed we now read a book in bed with the lights dimmed and minimal stimulation..this seems to have had a positive effect and she settles down for bed whilst we are reading. I hope something works for you soon, it really is so stressful and frustrating..and made that much more stressful with the thought that omg i will have to deal with this and a baby soon (well that was my thought when we were having problems..on the other side of things it drove me to remain calm and persistance because I did not want to be dealing with this and a baby!). Best of luck with it all.

Thank you so much ladies with your replies..

I just read them out to DH and we are going to take on board your suggestions...I'll pop back on and update you with how we go in a few days time..

Thanks again!!!!

I am so glad I am not the only one dealing with this at the moment, My 2 year old DS is driving us insame at the moment, we have booked in with Ngala (sleep people) here in Perth because we have tried everything and its not working... now he is in his portacot in our room sleeping (the last thing i wanted to happen)...

I feel for everyone who is going through this.. I am 4 months pregnant so luckily have time to sort this out.

I have the super nanny book and have tried some of her techniques but DS just screams and screams its horrible. I have been in tears so much lately. I guess being pg doesnt help with the hormones etc.

DS isnt in a bed yet, we still have him in the cot, maybe we should take the rail off try that, he might want his inependance, but then again i think he will get out everytime he wakes up.. He just doesnt know how to settle himself and wants his Dada all the time i am not allowed to put him to sleep and his dada.

Good luck lets hope this all settles for us very soon...

I don't know if this helps much because I haven't actually tried it but when we took my DD to the sleep clinic we watched a PPP video on getting toddlers to stay in their beds and PPP suggests trying a positive approach like:

"It is bedtime. You need to get into your beds and stay there. Mummy (or Daddy) will come back in 2 mins and if you are still in bed we can have a cuddle."

If they stay in bed for 2 mins and then do it again except this time leave the gap of 5 mins and then 10 mins and then 20 mins and so on . . .

The theory is that kids get out of bed as an attention seeking behaviour and so instead of feeding their poor behaviour choices with attention, turn it around so that they are doing a behaviour worthy of being awarded with attention.

I think it is a bit like the idea of control comforting but without the crying and the kids are a bit older. I think that as the intervals increase, the kids will supposedly go to sleep.

As I said, I haven't tried it because I haven't needed to yet but I thought it sounded like an interesting idea but possibily a little idealistic. I don't know but it is a suggestion.

I hope things get better for you soon.

Hmm, the only reason I don't know if that will work, is cos it could go on forever...;)

I think its best to do the Supernanny advice a la Amberj - don't talk to them at all after the first 2 times. Just put them back and leave the room. However I have also done that myself and lost count after 48 times back to bed.

Now I sit in the room until she goes to sleep. I don't talk to her (cept for an occasional sshhh), don't interact with her and she drops off within 30 mins, and that is dropping back minute by minute. JOY!

We have a safety gate on the bedroom door. Pity he shares a room with his brother and annoys him in his cot.

I personally would try the safety gate as well so they cant get out. I would leave them in there.. together.. even if they fall asleep on the floor while playing you can go in and put them into there beds later..
Since they think its a game you going in there every 2 seconds.. not going in at all.. they wont get the same excitment as before.

Even if they need to poop.. I have left my son in his room till the morning, and then he went in the morning.

Good luck.. such a nigthmare!