He said he wishes i wasn't his sister!!!

Some may remember me posting about my brother trying to get me to call my biological dad.

Well his at it again.
After telling him it's been 13 years since i have a contact with him I DO NOT want to have any contact with him and I do not want to be made to feel guilty because i'm not going to call him. I respect his decision to have conact with him and not jusitfy his reason, so why can he not understand/ respect my rights not to have contact. My dad was an abusive alcoholic and that is an influence that i don't want in my life of DD's.

My brother then went onto say i was am a stuck up ***** and pig headed because i don't want to talk to him or have contact with him. He said he wishes that i wasn't his sister because he thinks i don't talk to him or make an effort to contact him. If he didn't change his phone number every 2 days i might have an up to date number to contact him on.

He then went on to question why I took DD to NZ if she was soooo sick and if i can do that why i couldn't talk to him or my dad. Yes, DD was sick, We had her in hospital before we went away and the dr told us it was ok to fly but to keep and eye on her and go straight to a dr if things got any worse while we were there. I DON"T HAVE TO JUSTIFY THIS TO HIM OR ANYONE ELSE. not to mention i wasn't giving up $1200 of airfares!!!! (yes... see i do have a little bit of selfishness in me...)

Obviously, good sisters don't drop everything to go and pick their brothers up from the airport when they have broken up with thier GF's interstate and let them stay for a few weeks rent free, or stick up for them when they are in a fight, or go and pick them up when the police have been called to a fight between brother and father. Obviously, good sisters don't do this... :(

I felt like saying... well thats 2 less people i have to invite to my wedding if you wish i wasn't your sister!! But i don't want to lower myself to his level. Though after talking to my mum, we both agreed if he doesn't stop pressuring me to call, he won't be invited anyway. I don't want to deal with that crap on MY wedding day!

I know all families have their own problems... but why can't i have a sibling that i get along with and is NORMAL and appreciates everything i have done for them??? Rather than telling me they wish i wasn't thier sister... am i really that bad?? hmmm....

Hi Jenni-

Yes i do recall your other thread- and i all for you sticking to what you feel is right for you and your dd. Dont let him guilt you into calling him- and can i say that without knowing either your bro or your father- it seem like since your bro has had contact with him he is getting an attitude and being very arragant and rude- the exact influence you dont want.

:hug: its not easy- but stick to your guns amd make it clear to your bro that your not budging and the more he hassles you the less likey it will be that you will change your mind. Let him know If you ever DO decide to make contact with your father it will be because you feel the urge and want to- not because someone is hassling you to do it- that is no way to start a connection with someone- you need to want to- not be made feel like you "have" to.

:hug: SB

Starbright is dead on at the end there. Its not going to do either of you any good to be forced to call - the only person it makes happy is your brother. You dont want to talk to him, and he is not going to feel great about talking to someone who has been forced to call him. So while I am sure he has the best intentions with his request, it would make 2 people he cares about extremely uncomfortable and leave them both with resentment over the call. He needs to back down without blowing up.

But if he wants to carry on like a pork chop, then there is little you can do but 'take a break' from him. Clearly logic and reason isnt entering into his thought patterns right now so there is no point trying to explain it until he has 'calmed down', iykwim?

Oh Jenni, I hear you girl. I am getting married next year and my brother and dad won't be invited either. My brother has turned into a nasty piece of work and my dad is also an alcoholic. I really couldn't be bothered about the hassle they will bring so they don't get an invite.

If you don't want to talk to your dad then don't. Don't let your pushy brother bully you into it. Tell him to pull his head in and mind his own business.

Don't stress over this and enjoy your peaceful wedding

Oh Jenni i soooo hear you there ...

My Mum had no contact with me for 13years ... and my Dad for 8years ... i was & still am a wonderful caring & thoughtful daughter i honestly think any parent would dream to have me as their daughter (well, that's what my much older friends tell me ;)).

I stepped back into my parents life about 10years ago with the push of my older sister whom wanted the perfect family which we are NOT ...

I decided to go back as my Dad was seriously & i knew it would make HIM happy (though not so much me) ... my Dad too is an alcoholic but not abuse, infact he makes anyone a wonderful friend, sadly he just never made for a great Dad, but i do love him regardless.

As for my own Mother ... that's another story :rolleyes:

So, i guess what i'm trying to say is DON'T do what feels uncomfortable with you ... DO just as you are with what makes you happier even if it means there be NO contact with certain relo's ... the emotional pain &/or stress will always over-ride the blood is thicker than water saying ... GO with your gut instinct JUST as you have been & yeh, don't let anyone (also meaning your brother) tell you otherwise.

Just to add a story, ... when my older sister got married years ago my Dad got so drunk at the Wedding & he just couldn't help himself as an alcoholic can't with grog around them ... was so embarrassing for not just my sister the Bride but all of us related to him :doh: ... so i think your reasons are so valid !!