Just found out im pregnant need tips!

I'm absolutley shocked! im due December 26th and i got engaged the night before i found out.Im yet to have any symptoms and am completley clueless about all of this im only 23 but im so excited! Any one have any tips for a first timer im so nervous!

READ LOTS! Knowledge is key to the best experiences! Wonderful articles here on Belly Belly that can help you be prepared for a lot of what you might hear.

That said: Congratulations on your engagement and pending little one! Sounds like you've been having a really good week!

How exciting! How many weeks are you? I know for me my first symptom was tiredness (I had no clue I was pregnant then) & then morning sickness around 8 weeks. However you may make it through with no symptoms at all.

Im just a few weeks
god i just started crying ahaha
ive got some baby name books and i like Mylor, Elijah, Elliot and Aiden for a boy
Ella, Julia, Alysis and Charlotte for a girl.
i just cant believe how nervous i am. The worst part is my fianca left for italy for a month the morning i found out so hes freaking out over there and im on my own freaking out worst still im due December 26th hoping the bub doesnt have an early arrival of christmas day!

I guess it helps that my fathers an ob/gyn but hes very direct straight to the point
doesnt comfort me
i get
how are you feeling?
good
your fine
hahahaha hes a good man though i just need a womans personal advice.

Direct is good - but yes, sometimes we just need the comfort of someone who understands how we are really feeling.

Honestly though - you have taken a great first step by getting out to get the info. I know so much now I wish I knew 5 pregnancies ago. I am for once actually more content about going into labour knowing I have far more control than anyone let me believe I had before.

For now, I just recommend connecting with yourself and just being happy with being pregnant. I tend to avoid all doctors for a while because they can't do anything right now really.

Just a quiet personal happiness in your pregnant body and the little life it is helping grow is all you really need right now.

wow, congrats!

babies often don't arrive on the EDD, and by the time you get to the third trimester, the EDD will often have been changed too.

my hot tips are:

everyone has their own experience, but this is YOUR experience. so if other women only needed a maternity bra at X months, but you need one sooner, forget about what is "normal", do what is right for you.

educate yourself about what is advisable to eat, adn what is advisable NOT to eat whilst pregnant. better to know. then you can make your choice.

investigate ways of giving birth, even if they are not your preferred option. ANYTHIGN can happen once you go into labour.

i was so sore with sciatica, back pain etc, that most exercise was impossible, but hydrotherapy exercise was perfect. So find something that you enjoy and can do, to exercise in pregnancy.

you can safety proof your environment
rubber mat in the shower (chair if you need it).
wear flat shoes
move things you access often to lower shelves, so you don't have to struggle (or get on step stool) to reach things.
move low down stuff to waist height, so you don't have to bend unnecessarily
some public hospitals have specific "look after your back in preg" type classes, i found them invaluable

keep lists of what you do like, so when people say "what would you like for a baby shower gift/new baby gift, you have the ideas and where to get them.

scope out support groups you might want to utilise AFTER baby arrives, BEFORE baby arrives, so you know where they are, have made friends already, and can ask questions
e.g local australian breastfeeding association group
local playgroup

in third trimester, i found the Education Session at the ABA very useful, you go to it as a couple. Gives you lots of trouble shooting ideas.

Look after yourself, esp in public, because people in general (i found), are not as respectful/helpful etc towards pregnant woman, as i thought they would be. E.g standing up on a bus where no-one offers you a seat - i was astonished. So you look out for yourself and your unborn child.

expect to get over tired and need to take nana naps, growing a baby takes alot out of you.

Listen to all the advice but filter it through your own self. Your experience is unique, dont' be bullied into doing stuff, just cos it was good or necessary for someone else when THEY were pregnant.

When buying maternity clothing, you'll get more wear out of things that you can also breastfeed in (if you plan to bf).

If you're interested in cloth nappies, check out ozclothnappies (fAQ section esp) and Nappycino, i just had my bub in cloth nappies the last 28 months (she has just toilet trained) and it was excellent. Modern nappies are SO different to the old terry squares.

enjoy growing your baby! and congrats again! i hope the month passes quickly for you, and your fiance is back with you.

wow how exciting!!
congratulations!!

Like Inertia and Gig have said, education is the key.

Take the time to get to know your body, the options for labor and pregnancy care, investigate words an terms you dont understand - it is never too early to find answers to questions you will need to ask alter on.
The more you know, the more control you will have and the less anyone can push you around or enforce their opinions on you and your hubby.

Keep hubby in the loop too! Remember that he isnt carrying the baby, but he is still pregnant too. It is often hard for them to understand what is goin on with you so communication is the key. Explain why you feel like bursting into tears or eating a cow lol. Educate him too, get him involved and give him choices and options too - he has to go through labor by your side so he needs to be prepared and be aware of what you do and do not want. Formulate an experience together. It is sure to be something you both remember and live with for the rest of your life!

Most of all, ENJOY IT! This time will pass both sooo slowly and sooo quickly at the same time. Take time out to enjoy your changing body, moods, feelings, wants and needs. You are embarking on a beautiful experience, I hope it ends as happily as you could possibly hope for! But be prepared for outcomes you dont want also.

Good luck huni!! Im sure the rest of the BB girls and guys will be able and eager to help you through this wonderful journey!

Lex x:)

PS - No question is too stupid to ask!

Thankyou all so much.
I think i've somewhat calmed down .
My next question i guess is breastfeeding. I talked to my mother about this she said it was good but all three of us nibbled alot and it hurt. Im a bit worried about this but then i think about all the artifical fake stuff in formula and the bonding expierenced with breast feeding seems invaluable.

There is a lot to be said for breasfeeding - but as some people say - can you pick the bf baby from the formula fed one?

The ABA have a new line and there is a section in belly belly that can help you with comfortable feeding, latching and basically making sure it hurts as little as possible. I am actually looking forward to being able to successfully bf myself for the first time ever! I get Hyperemesis Gravidarum (Excessive 9 month morning sickness) which meant by the end my body was just too dehydrated and undernourished to feed a baby too. But I tried so damn hard and cried every time I failed. My kids are still healthy and bright despite being primarily ff, but they did get the chance to start on bfs and although I never made it to them having teeth, it was worth it.

Thats true,
i think im gonna try breastfeeding
can't hurt to try i guess
it feels like forever until the bubs due date.

Hey Lauren22,

Congratulations! I was a bit freaked out when I found out I was pregnant too. Even though it's something I've been thinking about and delaying for years.

Gigi, thank you so much for your post. It made me feel a lot better. I've been dreading telling people I'm pregnant because of all the "helpful advice" (that sometimes is like bullying) that's bound to come my way. Especially because I'm living in Asia, where they have some pretty strange ideas ... and a very different concept of personal space and privacy.

And I also wanted to confess that the idea of breastfeeding really grosses me out. I know it's supposed to be natural but ewwww - keep away, they're mine! I will try, though.

Big congrats first off. Bubbs probably wont arrive on its due date more likely 2 weeks before. so no need to worry.

Always ask questions no matter how silly you think it is. and never been sacred to ring ur local birthing centre if are worried abt soemthing

I just called my dad and asked him about vd's and ecs
he is a fan of ecs surprise surprise
but i dont know.
i just dont know if i can deal with the aspects of a vd. But then i feel selfish when worrying about my own pain instead of whats best for my baby.

Personally Lauren, its your choice - and I will probably get shot down for this one, but its a niggling feeling I have in the back that I can't help having when I hear of non-medical c-sects on the first baby but.... If you are unwilling to go through the pain of labour for your baby, then really what are you willing to do for them?

See - its a horrible judgemental feeling but it sits there and gets ignored most times because I am very much an advocate of womens right to choose - whether I personally agree with it or not. Normally I wouldn't mention it, but I thought at least some food for thought. My bad, I know. :(

On the flip side - I believe there is a lot of literature regarding c-sections, the cumulative damage and how it affects your future delivery prospects. Sure, you can ask for a vbac, but sometimes its like pushing a cow pat uphill with a paddle pop stick.

I would - at the very least - recommend making sure you are fully informed before you make that decision.

Oh, and don't let the prolapse/incontinence stories scare you. There is a LOT to be said for pelvic floor exercises - and a recent study has shown that the damage is done by the pregnancy, not the delivery so c-sec women arent protected from it. I am on #6 with no incontinence and my cervix is still "very high" - which actually means my uterus is still sitting high in my body. Mum had 7 of us and her pelvic floor is in great shape too. My sis is on #8 and very proud of hers. We simply didn't shirk learning how to and properly exercising our pelvic floors. So I tend to think there isnt much too it if you are really determined to prevent it yourself. Its like any other muscle.

On the pain aspect of a VB - Its not actually that bad. I'll be the first to admit that it hurts like a b***h. But mentally you are already prepared for the pain because its natural and instinctive. You deliver the baby and its all worth it. We women are marvellous creations - men simply could never understand the miracle of carrying and birthing a child. I wouldn't give up this ability willingly for all the money in the world!

Ok, rambling - off I go to clutter up other threads, haha.

doubleposted.

Congrats Lauren22!!

I highly recommend you purchase the book 'The Natural Way to a Natural Pregnancy' by Francesca Naish. You can buy it from bookstores & online. Loads of brilliant info in there!!!
As for the elective c/section thing, keep in mind that it is major surgery and there are far more risks associated with this procedure than there are with a natural birth. OBs are criticised for favouring this method of delivery because they can schedule women like an appointment at a time which suits themselves (no offence to your Dad!).
C-section can also make it harder for you to conceive in future as a fertilised egg has difficulty implanting where there is uterine scarring in the womb. There are also other factors such as the extended recovery time and medication required after a c-section to prevent infection because you have been cut open). Of course there are valid reasons why some women need c-sections but they are best left for what they were originally intended- emergencys only.

Just think, women have been giving birth naturally and without pain relief for hundreds of thousands of years. You have to trust your body to do what it was designed to do when the time is right. You are at the perfect age for childbearing which also decreases the chances of having complications during pregnancy and labour. Besides, you can still have a natural birth and opt for pain releif anyway!! There is really nothing to fear!!

Your chances of delivering naturally and complication-free are increased if you allow your labour to start spontaneously (ie - don't be pressured into being artificially induced just because you are 3 days 'overdue'). Left alone, the baby releases the hormones to trigger labour contractions, when he or she feels ready to come out - whether this be at 38 weeks or 42weeks (both are considered normal). When an induction occurs, the baby is caught unawares, and can often become panicked, especially as the hormones administered in an induction cause the contractions to come on harder and faster then they would naturally. This can lead to the baby's heart rate becoming unstable, and can ultimately lead to an emergency c-section. I guess what I'm saying is- don't pay too much attention to your estimated due date or allow the fate of your baby to be determined by this, as it is an estimate at best - and the majority of babies do NOT come on their estimated due date.

I am biased as I had a natural birth, but in my experience, the flood of endorphins and intense emotion I felt after it was incredible - after you have been through it you truly feel as though you can conquer anything. Ok I will stop rambling now.

Best of luck with your pregnancy and labour. Its an incredible journey....

XX